If you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything.

So even thought I think about writing everyday, I stray far away from it all and then wonder what in the hell was I doing NOT putting it down. Like I lost the memories and the moments. GRRR. Its my own damn doing but Grrr none the less. So here is the funny for the weekend. The midget who is now 7 was in the bathroom, WAY too long. And yes, even now when she is quite, you had better beware - she is up to no good. Whether it be cutting her hair, putting on make-up, spraying some gawd awful perfurm and now plucking her eyebrows. Yes folks, this 7 yr old child, decided to pluck her eyebrows. Now she looks like she has the mange on her face. She has for the most part pretty thick eyebrows, she is dark haired, brown eyed girl that takes after her father - so the eyebrows are unruly. And now, they are spotty. If she wasnt so darn funny, I swear I would kill her. She was already so upset when she finally realized what she had accomplished so I did not laugh out loud (which was

So as 38 creeps up I am not sure what to really do with it.... Do I look back and think DEAR GAWD, look forward and think what the HELL, look at the present and DRINK. haha! Um. As I look back, I can honestly say I have no regrets. Mistakes, well hell yes! Regrets - umm, not so much. My bad choices were still choices that I made, of some of them with sound mind and middle age body - so, yeah, I own them all of them. Some life lessons, some just fun over the top choices that make for a darn good story even today, and some I was totally forced into and the choice was made for me regardless of my stance. As I look forward...hell, who looks forward, I can barely get through the next hour, let alone try to think about what the hell the next day, month or year will hold. I hope it continues status quo. I hope my kids stay happy, I hope my friends keep smiling, and that my family continues to put the FUN in dys'fun'ction. Beyond that I pray for sleep and perhaps more ti

I know that fathers day has come and gone; however when I think about my dad, I find it sad that we attempt to celebrate the fact that he is a father only once a year. Growing up in our little town, my father is known to most as Mr. Bates. For a long time he was the auto-body teacher, he was a father to 3 kids and then when we were all grown up (in our own mind) and ready to move out Courtney blessed his life. His dreams of Mexico, motorcycles and beer was suddenly taken up with dirty diapers, teething and dare I say it, another freaking girl! Mr. Bates from the outside looking in, is a man of few words, somewhat intimidating, big in presence and stature. He doesn't say much, that task is left up to my mother; who has enough words of wisdom for the both of them. I always wondered what it would be like to have him as a teacher. There were kids who took his class who loved him! And if you ever wondered if he was as cool at home as he was at school, that would be a yes. He

So as we contine down this path of cleft discovery. Well it is discovery for me, all paths unknown. I am sure there is a rulebook or some handbook somewhere that I seemed to have overlooked as I sorted through the self help and funny novels. Today I took both kids, 12 and 7 to for their semi-annual check up and cleaning. And of course, Ry's mouth is a freakn' disaster. A chipped tooth, a tooth that is wSorapped in with his retainer that is failing miserably. The dentist talked about crowding in the mouth, teeth missing on the top and bottom. All genetic of course. OF COURSE! How to fill the spaces, what options we have and needing to get the game plan from the ortho in order to ensure they are on the same page. Because we would hate for the dentist to pull a damn tooth that was meant to be moved via braces to fill in a gap. HELLO! The midget did great! It was her first real cleaning and sealing. On the way down there, she told me she was nervous. Then fell asleep

So I have this notion that failure is alright, it is part of life. It is a part of life no one ever speaks about and no one tells you is 'okay'. Hey guess what ppl - we get fired, we lose jobs, we lose spouses, we lose loved ones, we don't get the dream job, we don't get the guy, hell there are times when I go to look and I don't get the damn ice cream! FAILURE is healthy. I know gasp! Healthy. Why did no one bother to tell me, why is it not written somewhere, in some parent handbook? Gosh this life lesson has been a hard one for me. But despite my failures I am all n' all okay! Who knew? There are days when everything falls apart and fail totally bad! And then there are days when I think i am a total rockstarr; but I am reminded pretty soon that I failed. I am learning to be okay in my own skin, with my own faults and I think I have tested every inch of my moral and personal being. Only to find out that each day, I still wake up and I still live - there

Okay, so let me just say how much I HATE, HATE my lawn mower! Soo, with this whole Lance debacal, as it has fallen out - I got the house. Now don't go acting like it was an act of goodness by Lance; heck no. I got the house, because I can afford it on one income. In return he go my truck and I go his 91 Ford that was on its last leg - which still sits in my driveway as if it is a freakn' lawn statute. Lucky for me my parent had mercy on me and gave me a car, I proudly drive a 2001 Chevy Impala - with pleasure at this point. Im still trying to figure all this out and there are times when it suxs! I have yet to decide if I can really swing a car-payment. It frightens the hell out of me... So as I keep the house, I keep everything with the house!! WTF! Where was the damn disclaimer? I hate this! A few years ago Lance bought a damn commercial lawn mower. Our lawn is not that big!! So now I can hardly mow my lawn, the mower is cumbersome, heavy and hard to use! The mow

Its interesting that the last two years I basically stopped writing. As if life suddenly stopped. Well it didn't stop, it just got messy. Which is why I should have probably kept writing. Perhaps I could have gotten some perspective, a few f' you's or a few it will be okay talks. Instead I do what I do best, I built a wall around my self and attempted to hide. Well that is like trying to hid in a mailbox while my ass hangs out. Just not possible. Over the past two years I have made mistakes and even become a person even i didn't recognize. I seperated from Lance after 11 years of marriage; had a boyfriend that was also married (no hate mail please! I get it!). Attempted to do everything possible to keep my kids safe and settled despite my current state of bobble head. Yes folks I was a total bobble head and at times continue to bobble my way through this debacl. There are things I do know, now that I didn't know then. I am much stronger than I ever t