Sunday, March 28, 2010

careful what you wish for....

Work has been stressful lately - I have been putting in 12 and 14 hour days.
My husband and children feel abandoned and I feel quite frankly run down.
Last week I had my 2009 audit, a team of 4 was on site for 5 days. OMG
It is hard to prepare audit work papers for a year I did not work through. I did not officially start until July. Luckily the auditors were patient with me, and have been here 2 years prior, so they had some direction. It was hard for me professionally to not have the answers, not be totally prepared - I just don't function that way.
We will have some follow-up questions and documents, but the week of hell has come and gone.
At least that is what I had thought until 2:30 on Friday, when my payroll person decided she has had enough and next Friday is her last week.
This news has left me breathless and barely able to breath -um, say WHAT. SAY WTF?
This person is due to retire on May 6, so once my audit was over i was going to spend the next 30 days up her crawl sucking the past 10 years of information out of her brain.
Well that has been reduced to maybe 4 days, she already has a scheduled day off.
I thought my kids and hubby hated me before the audit, well it is not going to get any better anytime soon. I have payroll in a week n' half, just posted the ad and well no warm body to fill the seat or cross-train. Holy Hell batman - someone scream out LOUD.
I took this job hoping for a challenge, a change ect. Well, I guess when you get what you ask for you really cannot complain. However next time I will be sure to ask with special parameters - such as one challenge at a time, the ability to actually learn one thing at a time and not have to work 12 to 14 hours. Just a thought.
So if you are looking for me, my butt will be permanently planted in my chair at work. My blinds will be open so at least I can see out side, and my heart will be heavy because my kids miss me. As I do them. Luckily Lance is still not working so the kids are not being shuffled around like hot-cakes. They really do have some stability. Who knows what next week will hold, one thing is for sure - never relay on a nice quite week when I am around.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

hello from the flip side...FL

Where to start.....right now I am sitting at my grandmothers lap top, in her office surrounding by her stuff and photos of family thanking god I am here.
Two days ago, me n' my sister loaded up the car and left St. Louis around 6pm and began our 14 hr trip to Tampa FL to see my grandparents. This is the weekend for 'us' to celebrate our grandparents. (us - a combined unit of cousins; 6 of us are here and several others could not make it). My grandfather is in the local VA hospital refusing to eat. We knew we must come and celebrate his life while we can, plus we needed to see my grandmother.
Me n' my sister loaded up and took off only to realize a few things.
1) we had no idea where we were going. um, minor detail.
We got the address via a text from my aunt and attempted to type it into our nifty GPS system.
We hit the highway and still did not have an offical route to follow, because I typed the wrong state in the GPS. Well not technically the wrong state, I just did not change the state.
We laughed as we left town, god help us we thoughts.
We drove, and drove and drove.....until about midnight, into Kentucky.
We got a 25.00 seedy hotel room and attempted to sleep for 4 hours.
I put the chairs and table in front of the door, and even though there were double beds we slept n the same one. We giggled like school girls, like when we were younger sharing a room, she sang some stupid song that sent us over the edge of laughter then we attempted to get some sleep.
At 4 am the alarm went off, we got up pee'd then hopped in the car. Sort of like zombies, but zombies on a mission. We got up and started driving again. About this time our other 4 cousins were leaving STL too. At 4 am 6 of us were on the road.
We were buring up the highway. We practically survived on gum, cig, monster energy drinks and coffee. BTW those energy drinks will make your pee glow - just sayn'.
We talked, laughed and sang songs at the top of our lungs. We sang everything from Janis Joplin, Black Crows, Pink to Pink Floydd. We terroized the highways a bit, dancing in our seats and making fun of some of the cars we passed. It was for all intensive purposes the best road trip I've taken yet.
We arrived at my grandmothers house only to realize that neither one of us ever called our grandmother to tell her WE were really coming. Then we realized that we weren't even sure IF we were at the right house. We sat in the drive way and laughed so hard we cried. Finally I got out, I totally had to pee, I was going in this house even if it was just to pee.
We walked up to the door and the door knocker had their name on it. YEAH!! We really were here.
My grandmother welcomed us with open arms. The rest of the crew was a good 4 hours behind us, so we opened some wine, got in the BIG bed w/ grandma and began to spend some time. We talked, laughed and cried. I am so glad to be here I could practically burst.
As my sister took a shower me and my grandmother shared a few moments. She told me that she was trying to get the record player from an realtive so she could play me 'Peter n' the Wolf'.
I immed went back to my childhood being in her downstairs living room dancing around the circle stone table while the opera Peter in the Wolf played in the back round. It brought me to tears. Her home feels like home, it is warm it is welcoming and I feel very relaxed.
the more miles we drove the better I felt, each worry and stress left me with each mile.
As I took a shower I know my sister also shared her moment of time with my grandmother. She has always made us each feel so special individually.
We drank 2 bottles of wine by the time everyone else arrived. And then it was one big hug and crying fest. It was for all intensive purposes 'lovely'.
We are all so similiar so strong and so FAMILY.
Today we went to the VA hospital to see my Grandfather, who is refusing to eat. We all walked in and he was surprised, he forgot we were coming. He was thrilled once he finally processed it all. We got approval to get him outside, so we sat in the sun and each of us took a turn sharing a small moment in time with him. Even if it was just for a moment, he got it, he remembered us and his eyes were shining.
As we sit here as a collective unit of grandkids we feel luv'd, welcomed and like family. A strong family. We do not feel disappoint for any of our actions or thoughts, we shared stories, laughs and a few tears. It is has been so nice to feel comfortable and supported for who I am, just me - faults, quirks and nonsense.
This trip with my sister will go down in the record books as a great trip, like a modern day Thelma n' Louise. God speed to us as we trek back early Monday morning. god speed.
In the mean time we have a to do list - thrift store, physic, tatoos and who know what else.
today was a beach day....beach, water, sea-shells and a sun set w/ my family. my heart is full today and I am totally lucky. Everyone should have a rock-starr family.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Glutten for punishment...

Holly hell batman, I think we have been drinking the 'crazy kool-aid'.
Over the weekend we bought an 11 wk old puppy - bulldog puppy.
We were not and STILL are not prepared.....what the hell is wrong with us??
March is here and I am gearing up for an audit, extra work since I've been assigned to two add'l committees, both my kids have birthdays this month, and well what the hell a new dog.
Oh, yeah almost forgot, one of the ladies in my office has decided to light at the end of the audit tunnel has now turned into HELL.
The reality of my payroll lady leaving has me a bit panicky.
Oh yeah, and we bought a dog. Tank, the bull dog. Tank, who sounds like 'tink' when Pyper tries to say it.
This morning had me swirling and whirling from trying to figure out how to fit this new puppy into my morning routine. Needless to say it did not go well.
We bought the dog a kennel, which still at this moment sits in my garage in the box it came in.
It would have been most helpful this morning IF the kennel was set up and ready for the dog to go into. Yeah, in hindsight that would have been REALLY helpful.
Instead I had to be creative and FIND a place to put the puppy. And the crying, OHH the crying from his sad soul. Which lead to my son and my daughter crying - because the puppy was sad.
And we were late.
I was standing out in the backyard this morning, right after my shower, hair wet ; cursing the dog that needed to go potty. But rather than go potty he wanted to play, or lick my wet leg. As I bend down to rub my leg, because it was gross from the licking, he decided to chew on my hair. Yeah, it was a freakn' zoo. God help any of my neighbors who could see the nonsense this morning. Tank was hopping around, wanting to play and I am begging him to just go potty.
We like most men, he only really responds to food or treats. But IF i give him a damn treat he will have to poop again. aye, aye, aye.
The dog IS a good idea, we just should have been a bit more prepared.
Which by the way we are and were Not. So in the mean time the dog will have to suffer until we can get his crap situated and find a schedule. Sort like with my kids, they are at the mercy of my learning curve. They will survive, we will just be discombobulated and cranky until we get there.
And much like my kids, it is a damn good thing he is so darn cute because he has me tired and a bit cranky.
We will be all good, in due time. The goal for tonight is to get the kennel set up and find a good spot for it. We will work on the schedule in due time. Yesterday we had to get food and dog bowls, that is how far behind the curve we were. I promise to post photos - which are in my camera on the counter top. Hopefully later this week, but not too much later...ha!
Wish us luck! proud new owners of a dog.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

picture day...

Okay so this morning, I forgot it was picture day for Rylan.
I knew it about two days ago, when it read the little yellow slipp in his back-pack.
And well, I have slept since then and got sidetracked and by today I flat out forgot.

That was until I got to the babysitters and one of the kids so politely remind me.
I looked at Rylan and cringed, I was not going to let him get his picture taken today lookn' like that. I packed him up and made him go home in change, which as usual came with its own emotions from my little almost 9 yr old.
Needless to say he was pissed off. flat out, down right mad at me.
I decided to eat it, well for about 5 minutes. Then I got mad back at him and started to pull out the 'if you don't get over it, I will take this away or that away.'
I know classy parenting.
I got my parenting skills off the back of a freakn' milk carton, what do you expect.
But for real, I just needed him to change his darn shirt and put a some gunk in his hair and we could go.
He didn't want to wear a shirt with a collar, it itches. OHH the moaning.
He didn't want to fix his hair, he HATES it spiky. *since when??? dude we were just spiking it 2 mths ago**
He put on a pullover sweater w/ a zipper/collar. He was huffy and dumpy, but did it.
Then we moved on to the hair. He sprayed the same spot in the back then though he was done.
Me 'NO dude, fix the front.'
He carefully pulls all of his hair towards the front and attempts to walk off.
I tell him to get back there and FIX the front, for gosh sakes.
So to show me, he fixed it alright - it looks like a fish fin on the top of his head.
At this point, I gave up the battle - which was half won.
And we packed up and headed back to the babysitters so he could catch the bus.
Whew. Who knew picture day could be such drama w/ a damn boy.
As I dropped him off, I honked at him as he was walking down the path. In an attempt to lighten the mood, I waved and smiled. He moped, barely raised his hand and didn't even give me a smirk. ugh.
Yeah, I get parent of the year for being totally classy today. That was the start of my day, I wonder if it is an indication on how the rest of it will go.


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