Monday, August 24, 2009

Football family ?

This past weekend, we attended a lovely football gathering held by our football coaches. In an effort to get to know everyone, they took a photo of each family and posted on their website. Here is our family in all of our glory.

Yes, Pyper is wearing swim goggles - because just like her mother, she listens to the beat of her OWN drum. It was a nice picnic at Arnold park, and we finally felt like part of team. The coaches are doing a really good job at building moral, involving the family and dealing with the boys. There are 21 boys on the team, and after this day, we all felt a little closer to the cause and a little more involved.

To say that it was nice would be an understatement. The picnic was from 3 to 5 - we were there from 2 to 8:30pm.
Perhaps we are a football family..............I feel my heart swaying.
Time will tell.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Another day, another grade higher......


Dear world,

Today I present to you a smiling, humble, shy and sometimes sassy 8 year old.

Each year he becomes more and more confident, and comfortable in his own skin. It is hard for me to imagine that together Lance and I have done this good, so far.

As we begin to step foot into the 3rd grade, I take time to reflect on the last year.

Rylan has had a few trials over the summer and he has rocked them out like a true rock starr. He continues to grow in leaps in bounds, bounce back from surgery, and take his family dysfunction in stride.

His dad becomes his shining light and center for direction more and more each day. *which is a scary thought at times*. As Rylan looks more to his dad, he relies less and less on me. Sure he may need the occasional hug or two, but not alot. He walks around with half my heart as he continues to enter the big world. Him and his dad are bonding over sports, tv, fishing and general boy stuff - like farting. Gone are the days of bottles, baby baths, chubbers, and some good ol' snuggling.

These elements have been replaced with a shy smile, an intense giggle, a heart of gold and a hit of sass.
As we enter the third grade I cringe at how fast the days have gone by, but glow with pride as I watch him wipe my kiss off his lips and hop thru the school doors. He was upset that I drove him to school, he really wanted to ride the bus. But he humored me and let me drive him, much to his displeasure. I figure this is my last year of getting to drop him off and even getting a kiss out of the deal.

As we sit in the drop off line, I make small talk. He admits that he is 'nervous'. That makes me smile. How big he is to understand the emotions that comes with nerves. I tap his hand and tell him it will all be okay, he smiles and nodds - as if already knows that.





So dear world, as you welcome my 8 year old son into the 3rd grade world I implore you to take good care of him. Don't make his heart hard with mean kids, hurtful words, or hard times. Keep his eyes shinning and his smile across his face, these attributes light up my day.
These attributes remind me that I continue to do a good job. Remind him to be nice to others, don't always follow the crowd, and that it is okay to be sad at times. Don't steal his confidence, it has been building over a period of time, but can be brought down in one fail swoop. He is a genetic combo of his father and I so, just take that into consideration as he begins this learning curve.
May he continue to luv his sister with no boundaries, and know that it is okay if he teases her but be fierce when protecting her from others.
Please send him home to me each day with a great story, a happy heart and good friends. These are the years in which he is building a foundation that will support him for a life time.

We are excited for another year of football, learning and struggles.

So dear world.........take care of my son. Love always his mother.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Wonder....

Ever wonder why we keep on making the same mistake?
Like recently when I took Lance to a work function last week and once again he acted a fool.
Deep down I knew better than to ask him, let alone bring him.
So grab your best cup of joe, or your fav' beer and take a moment to thank god you are not me.
I get tickets from a work consultant to a luxury suite at a recent cardinal game.
*for the record I am not a game girl - I don't drink beer, I get bored, and the seats hurt my butt after too long. As a rule of thumb I just don't go. Lance and Rylan go to at least 3 games a year. Lance is a game freak, he prob goes closer to 5 or 6 times a year w/ friends. *
So I get the kids arrangements made, get home from work early and mind you I have to work the next day. The game is a Wed night game, and my butt has to be to work on Thurs for a 7 am staff meeting. I already want to gauge my eyeballs out, I HATE 7 am staff meetings - who does that shit?
So we go to the game, there are alot of older people in their sports jackets and dockers. um, not us - no Lance wears his hat, flip-flops and cardinals t-shirt. I wear some jeans and a t-shirt.
Fine, no big deal........It is a cardinals game.
Lance starts drinking the free beer, but does not eat the free food. He does not want to kill the mood. By 2nd ing he is whistling from the back row and yelling towards the field in the back of this old couples head. You can seem the physically flinch every time he stands up. I walk over and calmly tap his shoulder, and ask him to tone it down a notch. He listens for like a mil-second. He lets me know we are at the game and 'they' need to get over it.
Then I see him wander back to get a beer out of the fridge, then he never comes back. He is in the back talking w/ a group of guys. My radar goes off, I start eyeballing him and a lady waves me off. The lady, who knows I am worried about Lance lets me know the guys he is talking too are ' guys - guys' and I have nothing to worry about.
WRONG.
I half smile at her, but know in the back of my head this night is gonna suck.
I pull up a seat on the other side of the barr next to this big guy. He leans over to me and laughs and says ' this is too easy, Lance is just walking around w/ a target on his head. Watch this one.'
The guys says' hey Lance.'
'What 'Lance replies
What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an Asian worker?
Lance looks at the guys sideways, the big guys states ' a local 1 union worker' then he erupts in laughter.
Lance on the other hand erupted in a long string of foul words.
I hang my head low, shake it and hold up my hand in a motion for him to take it down a notch. cool off and perhaps stop drinking.
Just about this time a cute little 24 yr old girl hops around to Lance's side of the barr to get a beer too. *mind you she works for the company that invited us*
She bends down to get a beer and all guys immed look at her arse.
Lance acts as if he is going to slap it.
I shake my head and state 'don't you dare'.
The big guy next to me says ' i DARE you.'
Lance takes a moment then the big guys sees Lance hesitate then he states 'You are a big chicken, you don't have it in you.'
Right then Lance slapped this girl on the butt.
OMG.
On top of slapping her on the butt he comments on what a nice butt she has and thinks maybe he should feel it again.
She immed. get her beer and gets the hell out of dodge.
The entire group of guys are laughing, I am humiliated and mortified.
MORTIFIED.
I make Lance apologize and he does a half ass apology. You know the one, where you make them. He has some stupid sheepish grin on his face and attempts an i'm sorry.
I find the girl outside and apologize a few other times, feeling like a dumb ass.
I go back to get Lance stating how inappropriate it was to play grab ass at a work function, let alone to play grab-ass in general. He states, ' I had too, they dared me.'
*they are really all 12*
They DARED you, dear god, like I give a rats ass.
Then he goes on, 'besides the dare Michelle, she asked for it. I mean for real she bent over right in front of me, '
At this moment I walked away. Mortified, humiliated and trying to figure out how to save face tomorrow with the consultant. Anyone have a local husband or brother I can take to work functions, because Lance is officially NEVER allowed to attend another one.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

smile.......










reminding myself to breath and not miss the moments- they are growing up so darn fast!!

Monday, August 10, 2009

times are tough.

Thank you to bun and Farrell for the response............
Farrell for the record I would luv lunch or happy hour.
I know we keep talking about it we just never seem to get there - I 'think' I am really close to your work these days. We should plan on it in the near future.
Bun - I may need an apt. ; I don't have the link - if you send it that might be good.

The weekend was good. I kept my sisters kids Sat into Sunday early afternoon. I took them to the pool for a few hours. I swear I looked like I was running a darn day-care. It was fun non the less. We got milk-shakes afterwards, ordered pizza then settled in to watch Icarly. My soul needed some down time with the 'small fries.'
Sunday my sister took all the kids home w/ her for a few hours, and Lance left to go brew beer w/ a friend. Bottom line, I was home alone for part of the day. I spent most of it being rather productive....I cleaned out Rylan's closet, got him ready for school. That my friends was quite the chore, but what a relief now that it is done. On the flip side, we will need winter clothes.

Lance has been home for the last few weeks, I think in the last 6 weeks he has worked one 40 week. This is putting a strain on the overall system of my household. Not to mention his attitude. I have him working on a long honey-do list, but most of this requires him spending money as well. *grrrr, such a double edge sword*
Here is what also really burns my a*s. He needs to apply for unemployment, that folks would bridge the gap between my paycheck. He keeps acting like he will, but he has not.
I keep trying to tell him that it is necessary, he acts like he gets it - but once I leave for work there is NO follow-thru. Plus as a added bonus the union will provide a supplement as well. Which could also help. We are not totally down and out, but making ends meeting is a bit tough. A few phone calls and a few pages of paperwork and he could be contributing to the cause.
I know people fight over alot of things, and money is prob at the top.
i guess my issue is, if he knows it is available to him and we in essence need it - why is he not getting it done?
Pride?
Today I mailed a voided check to the unemployment office on his behalf - even with that it takes two weeks to process. Then he must submit his check stub - or lack there of. When you have zero hours, you don't get a stub. Such a vicious cycle.
I know tough times are hitting alot of people, and I am grateful for my job and its security. I am grateful that I can meet majority of my big bills - we are not going to lose our home or anything else.
But with each week that goes by I lose a little bit more of my husband, who takes great pride in getting up and going to work everyday. He also got alot of joy in bringing home a paycheck. It takes a toll on a person when work and money are taken a way - even for a short period of time.
I know his boss is working diligently to find work, this is not his weight to carry. Time are tough everywhere. And that statement is true for my little world.
On the flip side his being home has made him available for the kids a bit more. Trying to find the siliver lining folks......it has to be here somewhere.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Stalling

I have been avoiding this blog thing for awhile now - maybe a week or so.
I have alot to say, but have learned over the last year or two that it is not always ideal to place ALL of my thoughts on this site.
I would like to think that I use this site as my own personal 'bitch session' but the reality of it is - I have avoided the 'bitch session' aspect of it completely.
For several reasons -
1) Afraid that once I put my emotions out there (here), I will never be able to take them back. And, well hell, that is not good. I am the type of person that needs to vent, be ugly, think I am right and then sleep on it. The problem with posting my emotions --well, by the time I have worked them and changed direction. I have already done some damage that I didn't really mean to do.
*this folks has been a hard lesson to learn.*

I have put things out here before that I stand by for the moment they were put out there, but hurt people in the process. And suddenly I am sorry beyond words and cannot fix it.

Bottom line, my head is mucked up with a bunch of BS that has me scrabbling at the moment. And I am half irked that I have to stifle it all. Irked would be putting it lightly.

Part of me needs advice, part of me needs to get it off my chest, and part of me REALLY wants to vent. Any advice for that damn issue?

Question:
If you have an issue w/ a friend or family member do you lay it all out here?
*Experience has told me no. *

There have been several conversations over the last few months where either a friend or family member has said to me ' Michelle, please dont' blog about this.' um. Some of the situations, I would have NEVER put out here to begin with - which makes me wish people would give me a little credit. Although on the flip side they really are trying to protect me (I think).

I hope to post photos of Pyper in Rylan in the near future; prob as a filler - until I can wade thru the muck in my head.

I HATE a mucky head, it sucks!

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