If you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything.

Ohh dear gawd we made it to 18! Que the music, Que the balloons, Que the tears, Que the drinks n streamers eight freakn' teen is here!! Senior Graduation is HERE! Excuse me while I turn up the music, jump for joy, hit the bottle, and hug this kid till his arms fall off! Then I'm gonna turn right around and send him on his way, out into the big world. Get ready world here he comes. So I said something to Lance about planning a graduation party for Rylan, and his response to be me was "you don't get a party for doing something you are expected to do, YOU are expected to graduate high school." Well, clearly he can kick rocks. Another gentle reminder of why we are divorced and we see each other in small spurts. This time last year we were bracing for jaw surgery, emotions were running high as Ry was letting me he didn't want to do it, Im telling him he has too. His dad is telling me to wait another year. Blah, blah, blah. Guess what, we had surgery, i

There are no longer kids in my house, it is now full of teenagers! I am mixed about all of it. We are no longer working through easy home work and hurt feelings that can be fixed with a lolly pop or a band aid. We are having discussions about boys, mean girls, homework, pressures of society, and periods. We have dealt with bullying and come out on the other side of it. Even recognizing that in that process she at times was the mean girl. None of it has been easy, nor have I felt prepared to deal with any of it. But somehow between my prayers and the village of people in our world we keep making our way through this crazy life. Before you were born, your brother drew this picture of you in my belly. Yes i keep it, yes I keep it framed. It continues to speak to how loved you were before you even graced us with your presence. Your brother in all his little soul at 5 years old was excited to think that he could be your person and at 5 this was how he expressed it. it continues

As I get a call at 7:30 am on Saturday, I roll over look at the phone and half want to cuss my mom, wondering why is she calling me on a Saturday at the crack of down. I answer im half annoyed, and thinking she has some crazy request and has yet to realize that I have 14" of snow around my me and my house. Not for a moment did I think that she was calling to because her world had just fallen apart. So in true form, I answered the phone tired and annoyed. My mothers voice sounds weak and frail. For those of you that know my mother, that is NOT her. I am immediately concerned. Very plainly and flatly she informs me that her mother passed away that morning and she wanted me to know. After her first sentence, all said with such strength, she began to fall apart. As the words "I'm sorry" roll out of my mouth, I know this is not enough. I call my brother to inform him, as I know my mother only has so much left in her. I call my sister, because I know, my mother i