18! Here we go!!
Ohh dear gawd we made it to 18! Que the music, Que the balloons, Que the tears, Que the drinks n streamers eight freakn' teen is here!! Senior Graduation is HERE!
Excuse me while I turn up the music, jump for joy, hit the bottle, and hug this kid till his arms fall off! Then I'm gonna turn right around and send him on his way, out into the big world.
Get ready world here he comes.
So I said something to Lance about planning a graduation party for Rylan, and his response to be me was "you don't get a party for doing something you are expected to do, YOU are expected to graduate high school." Well, clearly he can kick rocks. Another gentle reminder of why we are divorced and we see each other in small spurts.
This time last year we were bracing for jaw surgery, emotions were running high as Ry was letting me he didn't want to do it, Im telling him he has too. His dad is telling me to wait another year. Blah, blah, blah. Guess what, we had surgery, it sucked, it was terrible and worth it all in the same darn breath. It about broke both of us with exhaustion and frustration. But I'll be damned if this kid didn't make it look easy, and take it in stride. In the moments when I saw him weak and just down right done, I still saw him fight. I saw him lose 25 lbs and fight to recover to play football for his Senior year. I saw him so excited to get the wires off his mouth and attempt to eat a hamburger, which he had craved about for 4 plus weeks. I mean CRAVED. When we ordered it and he realized he could NOT open his mouth to eat it, he threw it out the window, pounded his fist on the dash board and was just down right pissed off. Right there as with so many other times a piece of my heart broke for him. And I cussed having to once again have another damn surgery. Rylan has made being cleft look easy, hell he made it look easy to all of us. That is because Ry's cleft is such a small part of who and what he is........the plastic surgeon did not want to release Ry to play football. As I took him to last appointment at Children's Hospital, I remember arguing with him in the car about perhaps not being able to start football in August. Ry is not one to get worked up..UNTIL, he feels like he needs to. This was one of those times. And in my mind, I also needed to stand my ground. For the luv of pete child, you just had your face broken and now you want me to let you put on a helmet and let people hit you on purpose? You want me to watch you hit people, on purpose! Stop it. Every internal bone in my body screamed against him playing football!
But sat there and told the plastics guy that he was ready, and my insides broke in two.
Here he is for his last trip down the halls of Children's Hospital, because now, he is 18!! He was born here, he spent 7 days here in the NICU. And now we don't have to walk these halls again. OMG! Be still my heart.
So we move along to playing football, AFTER jaw surgery. I broke out in hives for the entire season, I puked in the parking lot of every game, I turned white every time he got hit and I held my breath praying for him to just be safe. Damn it kid, why can we not just play golf of do basket weaving. But I also knew this season was not about me, and my holding him back with my emotions and fear would do neither of us any good. So he played. He played his heart out, at 6 ft 4in, 147 lbs soaking wet. He lost so much weight having his mouth wired shut. So this darn kid ended his Senior Year of Football by having the last play for the year being a touch down by him at Lindberg. We lost game, but watching him catch that ball, knowing he was gonna lose and run his butt down that field still whole heart and soul made me cry none the less. This is who he is, he showed up, each an every play and each and every game. He got TE All District and All Conference. He also made 2nd String Defensive Back. Can you imagine what he would have done if he was healthy?? I guess this next stage of his life we will get to find out....bring on college football.
Ry is so much more than football. He has eyes that smile and a warmth about him that invites you in and makes you feel right at home. As his world gets bigger, there are people in our space who realize that they too know someone with a cleft. Well, lets be honest folks, one in 700 ppl are impacted by cleft, so yeah, there is a high likely-hood you know someone. Ry was told that a little wanted to meet him and watch him at football practice. Ry was so excited that this kid wanted to meet him, and watch him. He came home with the biggest grin, and best story and just heart warmed by meeting this kid. And I hear that this kid and his parents were so glad to have met Ry and have him in their space. So here a photo of their meeting. A photo does not do justice to the impact that the meeting had on my son.
At the age of 5 Ry became a big brother. A role he fell into so easily. I think it is safe to say that if the midget was first, her adjustment may have been a bit tougher. Ohh but for Ry and is big heart and warm soul, an added person to love and protect fed his soul. They are typical siblings, fighting over stupid things like headphones, chargers and money. But they also find the small moments of joy in each others company. There are days when he will ask to drive around to listen to music and she follows behind him to the car and there they go driving around with terrible music play, probably vaping or taking terrible snapchats. As the midget gets older i find her struggling with the thought of him leaving. Lately she says, why can he not just be home with us? Why does he have to go to Tanners or hang out with Sophie? And I just laugh and say, one day soon, this will be you and then I will be alone wondering what to do next. Girlfriend your time is just around the corner.
As we travel around city or to the country or to feed our soul in whatever adventure I have come up with, Ry is my easy going kid. He will drive,play music, sing with me and tell me stories. Most times his music choices are beyond poor. And there is a rule in my car about cursing, actually it is an all around rule. But curing in music makes me cringe. So Ry will start a song with a statement similar to "mom, this is a good song, but your not gonna like all of it, but give it a chance".
Because he knows. If both kids are up front playing their music, and the words start flying in the music, you can see them look at each other startled, because they know Im coming from the back to yank the aux cord and make them start over. The will begin frantically finding the phone to change the song. haha! Recently we have all started to bond on Queen, the movie and the music, so that has been fun! Watching the movie together and singing at the top of our lungs in the car. Both of my kids love music. Pyper sings in the shower every night. Ry will ask for 10 more minutes to drive around. Actually I give him 10 and he ask for 20 minutes, because 10 minutes is only like 2 songs. Both of my kids dance. For years I have made them dance with me. But I hear from Ry's girlfriend that he dances at school dances as well. There is such freedom in music, I'm glad he found it. Even if some of it is terrible.
So as you turn 18, and I help prepare you for the next stage of life. A great stage of life. I loved this stage of my life, and i pray you do too!
Go places, go meet people, go eat things you've never heard of, go do something that scares you. You will always love high school, it taught you so many things, you met people that will be in your space for a life time, but go after this next stage with the same conviction, same drive and same spirit. Let the world teach you things and take you places.
Use your manners, be a child of god, go forward with grace and compassion and use your strength and fierceness when necessary. My home is always open, but when times get tough I hope you find away to work through it. Home should be a last resort. Give your college football program more than you could ever give the high school program. Go in healthy and ready to play. You have every opportunity to be great, now it all depends on you. The world will teach you lessons, it will attempt to break you at times....be resourceful.
A main stay in my house, you can be mad, but you cannot be ugly. So on your mad days, find a punching bag, go on run, hit someone on the football field - but leave it there.
Mad is only dangerous if you don't know what to do with it. Channel it. Sometimes the right thing is the hardest, do it anyway.
I've tried really hard to love you, mold you and prepare you for 18 and beyond........as I look back on your last 18 years, I am reminded of the soft soul that touched my heart with your first cry and your first smile. The world is ready, you have your village behind you, supporting you, you have your internal strength and prayers, so go be frickn' BIG my son.
As we took Senior Photos - we found this rope swing. I said to Ry it would neat to get a photo of him swinging out over the water. And in theory it would have been a great shot.....until he ended up in the water. I was on the beach, falling on the ground laughing. Even the poor photographer was a laughing. And Ry, wanted to be angry, but just couldn't help himself, and laughed about the whole darn thing. Of course I had him in the water, with one of my stupid ideas. Thank you for trusting me even when we end up in the water.....I love you!!
Excuse me while I turn up the music, jump for joy, hit the bottle, and hug this kid till his arms fall off! Then I'm gonna turn right around and send him on his way, out into the big world.
Get ready world here he comes.
So I said something to Lance about planning a graduation party for Rylan, and his response to be me was "you don't get a party for doing something you are expected to do, YOU are expected to graduate high school." Well, clearly he can kick rocks. Another gentle reminder of why we are divorced and we see each other in small spurts.
This time last year we were bracing for jaw surgery, emotions were running high as Ry was letting me he didn't want to do it, Im telling him he has too. His dad is telling me to wait another year. Blah, blah, blah. Guess what, we had surgery, it sucked, it was terrible and worth it all in the same darn breath. It about broke both of us with exhaustion and frustration. But I'll be damned if this kid didn't make it look easy, and take it in stride. In the moments when I saw him weak and just down right done, I still saw him fight. I saw him lose 25 lbs and fight to recover to play football for his Senior year. I saw him so excited to get the wires off his mouth and attempt to eat a hamburger, which he had craved about for 4 plus weeks. I mean CRAVED. When we ordered it and he realized he could NOT open his mouth to eat it, he threw it out the window, pounded his fist on the dash board and was just down right pissed off. Right there as with so many other times a piece of my heart broke for him. And I cussed having to once again have another damn surgery. Rylan has made being cleft look easy, hell he made it look easy to all of us. That is because Ry's cleft is such a small part of who and what he is........the plastic surgeon did not want to release Ry to play football. As I took him to last appointment at Children's Hospital, I remember arguing with him in the car about perhaps not being able to start football in August. Ry is not one to get worked up..UNTIL, he feels like he needs to. This was one of those times. And in my mind, I also needed to stand my ground. For the luv of pete child, you just had your face broken and now you want me to let you put on a helmet and let people hit you on purpose? You want me to watch you hit people, on purpose! Stop it. Every internal bone in my body screamed against him playing football!
But sat there and told the plastics guy that he was ready, and my insides broke in two.
Here he is for his last trip down the halls of Children's Hospital, because now, he is 18!! He was born here, he spent 7 days here in the NICU. And now we don't have to walk these halls again. OMG! Be still my heart.
So we move along to playing football, AFTER jaw surgery. I broke out in hives for the entire season, I puked in the parking lot of every game, I turned white every time he got hit and I held my breath praying for him to just be safe. Damn it kid, why can we not just play golf of do basket weaving. But I also knew this season was not about me, and my holding him back with my emotions and fear would do neither of us any good. So he played. He played his heart out, at 6 ft 4in, 147 lbs soaking wet. He lost so much weight having his mouth wired shut. So this darn kid ended his Senior Year of Football by having the last play for the year being a touch down by him at Lindberg. We lost game, but watching him catch that ball, knowing he was gonna lose and run his butt down that field still whole heart and soul made me cry none the less. This is who he is, he showed up, each an every play and each and every game. He got TE All District and All Conference. He also made 2nd String Defensive Back. Can you imagine what he would have done if he was healthy?? I guess this next stage of his life we will get to find out....bring on college football.
Ry is so much more than football. He has eyes that smile and a warmth about him that invites you in and makes you feel right at home. As his world gets bigger, there are people in our space who realize that they too know someone with a cleft. Well, lets be honest folks, one in 700 ppl are impacted by cleft, so yeah, there is a high likely-hood you know someone. Ry was told that a little wanted to meet him and watch him at football practice. Ry was so excited that this kid wanted to meet him, and watch him. He came home with the biggest grin, and best story and just heart warmed by meeting this kid. And I hear that this kid and his parents were so glad to have met Ry and have him in their space. So here a photo of their meeting. A photo does not do justice to the impact that the meeting had on my son.
At the age of 5 Ry became a big brother. A role he fell into so easily. I think it is safe to say that if the midget was first, her adjustment may have been a bit tougher. Ohh but for Ry and is big heart and warm soul, an added person to love and protect fed his soul. They are typical siblings, fighting over stupid things like headphones, chargers and money. But they also find the small moments of joy in each others company. There are days when he will ask to drive around to listen to music and she follows behind him to the car and there they go driving around with terrible music play, probably vaping or taking terrible snapchats. As the midget gets older i find her struggling with the thought of him leaving. Lately she says, why can he not just be home with us? Why does he have to go to Tanners or hang out with Sophie? And I just laugh and say, one day soon, this will be you and then I will be alone wondering what to do next. Girlfriend your time is just around the corner.
As we travel around city or to the country or to feed our soul in whatever adventure I have come up with, Ry is my easy going kid. He will drive,play music, sing with me and tell me stories. Most times his music choices are beyond poor. And there is a rule in my car about cursing, actually it is an all around rule. But curing in music makes me cringe. So Ry will start a song with a statement similar to "mom, this is a good song, but your not gonna like all of it, but give it a chance".
Because he knows. If both kids are up front playing their music, and the words start flying in the music, you can see them look at each other startled, because they know Im coming from the back to yank the aux cord and make them start over. The will begin frantically finding the phone to change the song. haha! Recently we have all started to bond on Queen, the movie and the music, so that has been fun! Watching the movie together and singing at the top of our lungs in the car. Both of my kids love music. Pyper sings in the shower every night. Ry will ask for 10 more minutes to drive around. Actually I give him 10 and he ask for 20 minutes, because 10 minutes is only like 2 songs. Both of my kids dance. For years I have made them dance with me. But I hear from Ry's girlfriend that he dances at school dances as well. There is such freedom in music, I'm glad he found it. Even if some of it is terrible.
So as you turn 18, and I help prepare you for the next stage of life. A great stage of life. I loved this stage of my life, and i pray you do too!
Go places, go meet people, go eat things you've never heard of, go do something that scares you. You will always love high school, it taught you so many things, you met people that will be in your space for a life time, but go after this next stage with the same conviction, same drive and same spirit. Let the world teach you things and take you places.
Use your manners, be a child of god, go forward with grace and compassion and use your strength and fierceness when necessary. My home is always open, but when times get tough I hope you find away to work through it. Home should be a last resort. Give your college football program more than you could ever give the high school program. Go in healthy and ready to play. You have every opportunity to be great, now it all depends on you. The world will teach you lessons, it will attempt to break you at times....be resourceful.
A main stay in my house, you can be mad, but you cannot be ugly. So on your mad days, find a punching bag, go on run, hit someone on the football field - but leave it there.
Mad is only dangerous if you don't know what to do with it. Channel it. Sometimes the right thing is the hardest, do it anyway.
I've tried really hard to love you, mold you and prepare you for 18 and beyond........as I look back on your last 18 years, I am reminded of the soft soul that touched my heart with your first cry and your first smile. The world is ready, you have your village behind you, supporting you, you have your internal strength and prayers, so go be frickn' BIG my son.
As we took Senior Photos - we found this rope swing. I said to Ry it would neat to get a photo of him swinging out over the water. And in theory it would have been a great shot.....until he ended up in the water. I was on the beach, falling on the ground laughing. Even the poor photographer was a laughing. And Ry, wanted to be angry, but just couldn't help himself, and laughed about the whole darn thing. Of course I had him in the water, with one of my stupid ideas. Thank you for trusting me even when we end up in the water.....I love you!!
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