Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Coming up for air....

This conference is things at work are falling apart.

I am on the blackberry, cell phone, laptop 20 out of 24 hours a day. grrr.
I miss my kids, and it feels suffocating.

All of my blogger friends are reaching out and supporting Lisa at Mid Western Mommy - she just found out she has cancer. She is young, has a young son and a husband who she loves dearly. I have never met her, but feel really attached to her thru the blogger community. She is blogging and checking messages from her hospital bed, please keep her in mind as you pray.
Go here and support her....

Today i left the meeting at 1pm, ditched the afternoon session and I plan to go for a walk, and re-group.

It really is a nice town, nice weather and I am learning so much. But a week feels a little long for least today.

My son signed up for football yesterday. He seems excited, I am terrified. Every time I speak to him on the phone, he starts crying ' I miss you mommy.' *heartbreaking.
My daughter on the other hand uses every word in her limited vocabulary I get 'hi', 'cow - which I would normally take offense too', 'bye', 'pee-pee', and 'I wuv yu.'
*see my heart melting from afar.

I am letting go and regrouping........

Sunday, July 27, 2008

New York re-capp..con't

Lady Liberty...standing tall and holding strong. *my great-grand parents went thru Ellis Island, may she stand tall.
Here we are in Central Park, we walked our feet off, but smiled non-the-less.
This is my drunk on the subway photo. Good times!

Nikki and I drunk on the subway. No drinking and driving in this city. I began to LUV the subway.

Passed out guy at the subway. Notice his hands are full. They contain his keys, wallet, money and cigs. I cannot believe no one ripped him off.

On Broadway. Mama Mia was a good show!

My favorite homeless man. I paid him $5.00 and he gave me the 'angry' face. He told me to tell everyone I met that if I didn't get what I wanted then I would send 'him' after them. I found him really witty.

The guy has a SCREW DRIVER in his nose. YUCK!! Part of the side-freak show we had to see in Coney Island. It was well worth $5.00.

Troy (our nephew) won the kitty purse, he is holding for Pyper. He kicked our butts at water guns. Pyper luv's her new kitty purse.

This guy reminds me of the guy off of Lilo and Stitch. The random guy who is eating an ice cream cone. *had to take it.

Yeap, we had Nathans. i hate hot-dogs, so I had a lobster roll. Thumbs up all around! Nathan's rocked.

There is our Naked Cowboy in the center of Times Square. He actually had a guy there taking money so people could get their picture taken with him. He stood in the center of traffic. Just down the road from the M&M Bldg. *whom he is suing at the moment.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008


Today i am TOTALLY overwhelmed.

Work sucks, I am so TIRED of adults acting like my 7 yr old son and his friends.
*but he said, she said.
*I am going to take my ball and go home.
* No, no wait I am going to piss on your tree. Not before I get to it first - now we have a pissing match. Grrrr...

It is Wednesday and I have not unpacked from NYC trip. The suite cases sits quietly on my guest bedroom floor half opened from where we have rummaged thru it for certain items. I dig thru it to get my make-up, socks, and presents to distribute. I have also taken out the dirty clothes, so I could wash them, only to discover that we don't have any detergent (grrr).

Did I mention that I arrived home and my vacuum is broken. *grrrr
Not that I am a domestic goddess - far from it. But I do need to vacuum a few times a week to pick up the food that Pyper tends to drop. The damn thing is not fixable so now I have go break down and purchase a new one. I hate appliances, just about as much as I hate shopping.

Aside from work, I am stressed out. I am leaving Sunday for an entire week - again! Next week is my week long conference in Madison, I got a scholarship for it, it is free and a great opportunity.

Pyper is still pissed off that I just left for a short trip to NYC. She tends to be clingy then she is angry. Typical cycles of a two year old who is angry that her mother left her for a few days.
Then I am going to pack up and leave her again. How do I get her to understand?
I cannot.
And that sucks.
***Do you think she will understand when I tell her 'but it is a great opportunity?' Prob, not.

Lance will be fine. I am not worried about him staying with the kids and getting it all done. He is their father, he can do it. Actually he likes to do it- bedtime may be a bit of struggle, but they will all survive. Emotionally I don't know that I will. Evenings are the worst for me when I am away from home. I have visions of her up crying and him not hearing her. Well, he will hear her when she makes her way to his bed and SCREAMS in his ear. But her heart will fall when she realizes that her mother is not there to make it all better. *sigh.

I have a ton of photo's to share, and hope to get to them later this evening.

I feel as if I am having an identity crisis. I hate the way I look, I hate my job currently and nothing seems to make me happy. I stopped taking my medicine a month ago - perhaps that was a bad idea. I have alot to do but feel as if I am not making any headway.

*Damn I hate that feeling.
Lance just called, just for the hell of it.
* * I asked him what he really wanted.
He continues to say "nothing, just wanted to say hi"...
** I don't believe him. to be con't.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Back, I think....

Well somewhere among the mess is my camera with all of my photos.
To say we took NYC by storm would be putting it lightly.
We set the damn place on fire. I walked so much I thought my feet would fall off, and on top of it all gained 6 lbs. SWEAR. 6LBS....
As a side note, I am not sure how I could gain weight with ALL of the walking we did. Perhaps it was off balance with all of the food / drink. perhaps? Pizza at 11:30 could be the issue - but it was damn good pizza.

I won't give it all away, but here is a bit of a tease.
- I saw the Naked Cowboy
- I went to a psychic on the street; she scared the bee-jeez out of me. ( I called my mother FREAKED OUT).
- I saw Mama Mia on Broadway. The boys went to a Yankees game - had tickets right behind home plate.
- We rode the subway like no body's business.
- I saw all of the normal things (Time Square, Battery Park, Ground Zero, Brooklyn Bridge, Lower E. Manhattan, Coney Island.
- A few for the freak in me
a) we saw the side-freak show for a mere $5.00. Nothing like paying someone to ram a drill up their nose and then watch them lick it.
b) I saw a guy jacking off in central park (SWEAR). I had to make Lance stop staring.
c) We took several photos of funny things
i.) some guy passed out in front of the subway booth. Still dress in his shirt/tie, with his wallet in hand, cell phone, and keys. Lance put his foot by his head, as if to kick him, and I took a photo. It was funny. *we did not kick him, we did not touch him.
ii.) some bumm had a sign that stated ' We should do lunch, you buy.' I thought that was really witty so I gave the guy $5.00 and he let me take his photo ( I will share later).
iii) we rode in a car service from air port to the house, and I thought I was going to DIE. NY people refer to their driving as 'pushing'. I refer to it all as CRAZY.

All in all I think my kids were good. We missed them alot, and the look like they have grown. Isn't that weird. Everyone was glad to be home last night, we arrived at our house at 3:30 and just hung out for the rest of the day/evening. We were glad to be back to our space with our kids.
I have stories, photo's and more. Whew. I have to go- so much work to catch up on, and I have a night meeting tonight.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Green Means GO......

Well, after work today I am heading to the country to stay the evening with my kids at my mothers, then get up SUPER early in the morning (like the a*s crack of dawn).

Where I will sneak out of bed, tip toe to the potty, put on some sweats and RUN LIKE THE WIND. *You see that streak - that is me trying to get away before something happens to ruin my plans. People still have a good 12 hours to ruin my plans, and for real, anything can happen with my family.

I am going to NYC first thing in the morning.

And if Lance is nice to me, I will swing by his fathers an pick him up.

*Let's just say, he is teetering at the moment. I could just be too tired to remember to pick him up. But then again, he has promised to drive to the airport at 5:15am - his services may be needed. SMUCK.

Grandpa's surgery went well. He was sent home today, he had 60% blockage, they put in a stint and are sending him home. They found a flutter in his heart and are sending off his EKG to be looked over by a specialist. They will probably need to shock his heart in order to get the flutter to subside. All of that can wait until we get back.

Grandpa was clearly feeling better. When I arrived last night, before i even entered his room I could hear him arguing with the nurse. Grandpa wanted to get up and walk around (mind you he was drugged up), and they told him he could not get up. This cranky old man proceeded to tell the nurse that he was a grown man and did not have to listen to her.

Dear heaven. Lance said earlier that Grandpa was waiving his finger w/ the monitor around and acting as if he was ET. Eyes following the finger as it swayed in the air, chanting 'ET go home. ET go home.' Just by looking at Grandpa you could see he was whacked out, his eyes were glassy, and his tone was louder than usual.

As we are walking out the door to go to dinner I asked Grandpa 'anything I can bring you back?'

His response ' yeah, how about a waitress.'

I just smirked. Clearly he is feeling better.

We have BIG plans for our 3 night / 4 day NCY adventure.

Ellis Island, Broadway show, Yankees Game, Ground Zero, Times Square, Coney Island, night life, food, walking , the subway and MORE FOOD.

This is an adults only trip, plus we have a great tour guide - so we won't walk around lost. My 26 yr old niece lives there, and has taken some time off to show us around, and take us out. Plus we are going to the area flea market - where I plan to purchase alot of Christmas presents, and ship them back to myself. *Hello my new knock off Gucci purse - so good to see you. you are just in time for the fall season.

Monday, July 14, 2008

What do you see?

Well, to date I have had 3 different instances in which I have seen ghost.
My father seems to think that I may have gotten it from him, but he killed his instinct years ago by doing too many drugs. Now either that is the truth, or it is a good line of b.s. in a moment to try to make me feel better.

My first and constant experience is out my parents house, I see / feel the old farmer. I have seen him for years. He actually sits in the recliner, in his worn out/ faded blue jean overalls. From time to time he wears a straw hat, not in the shape of a cow-boy hat, but in the shape of a circle, so he will shade him from the hot sun. We moved this particular house when I was 11, my brother was 13, therefore my sister was 9. It was closer to 19 when I first saw this man, and felt his presence. These days, I politely ask him ' to not watch me take a shower'. ha! I know you may laugh at that, but really. I often wonder if my dead relatives can see me having relations with my hubby - now that thought can kill the moment is no time flat.
Anyway, moving on.

I choose to basically ignore the farmer for the longest time. Chalking him up to me coming in late, and intoxicated. Then when I graduated college I lived by myself in a small apt. It was late in the evening around 4am. Lance and I were dating (again). He had stayed the night, and at 4am something wakes me up. I sit up and over against the wall is this 50's greaser dude. Just like you see in Grease (white T-shirt, pack of cig's rolled up, dark jeans, black boots and greasy hair). I sit up and look at this man standing in my room. I look over at Lance in an attempt to ensure that I am not sleeping. I rub my eyes, I pinch myself - the dude is STILL there.

He does not say a word to me. He has propped him self up on the wall, very casual. He cocks his head sideways, gives me a slight grin ( shit eating look), and winks. His wink had a sparkle. He held my gaze for a few moments as if he was trying to tell me something. He had a softness about him, he was unassuming and semi-charming. I remember looking down at Lance, trying to shake him to wake him up. When I looked up the greaser guy was gone. I was FREAKED out. I remember calling my mother early the next morning, half in tears. Lance 'thinks' I am crazy or just half asleep and still in dream mode. To this day I have never seen that man again.

My third experience happened in the house we currently live in.........this one haunts me to this day. We have lived in this house for almost 5 years and three years ago I saw 3 children.
We sleep downstairs and I hear little kids. I immediately sit up to see what is going on. Three children are playing right outside my bedroom door climbing around on my computer desk. One is a little girl, dressed in period clothes. She looks like she walked right off Little House on the Prairie. She has blond locks, a stiff starch peach bow holding it back. Her bloomer peak out from under her peach dress, and she is no more that 8 year old. She is the ring leader of the kids. The second child looks just like my son, only slightly off color - almost dead. He is walking in a pair of boxer shorts and shirtless. The youngest child is a boy around 2 yrs old, wearing nothing but a cloth diaper. He has a head full of blond curls and is full of energy. The kids are all gathered around the desk, talking, playing and the two year old is climbing up the chair and onto the desktop. I fear he may be falling and I start to get out of bed to help him up on the desk top, then it strikes me - I DON'T HAVE THREE KIDS. Oh...WHAT?
I have one foot on the floor and the kids all turn around and stare at me. I keep looking at the child that looks like my son and I become afraid. I gasp, start chocking and shoving Lance. I am crying by the time he finally wakes up. While Lance sits in bed discombobulated I run upstairs to check on my son. He is sound asleep in his bed. I am too shaken to know what to do. I head back to bed and run thru the series of events with Lance.

Mind you, this is the second event I have had with Lance. As usual, he thinks I am CRAZY. We don't have Pyper in our lives yet, I was not totally sleep deprived and I was not dreaming. But I was frightened.

To sum it all up, I still see and feel the farmer at my parents house. I have gotten to the point where, I just tell him hello or nod my head in an effort to acknowledge him. He is by far my least traumatic ghost experienced.

After each experience I begin praying, asking god to protect me and surround me with his protective white light. These experiences have frightened me to the core. It is a really weird experience, and one that tends to place you in one or two places on the spectrum for people - either you are CRAZY, or they too see people and can offer some kind words of wisdom. For the most part, most think I am CRAZY. Hell, each time it has occurred I have some level of doubt. But in the end I am positive about what occurred, I just wish it had happened to someone else.

*So, tell me any experiences in your life???

Monday maddness...

*I need to lighten the mood, so here you go.
As an update, I bought mace today - 4 cans actually. I am going to deliver one to my mother, and one to my aunt. I will post about seeing ghost in my lifetime - next, just to give Farrell the scoop. Enjoy the cartoons.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Boogy Man

My kids are snuggled deep in my bed, surrounded by each other, pillows and covers. Each breath sounds like 1000 angles singing. I will fall asleep to their breathing patterns, and thank god that I had one more day with my kids.
It is 10 pm at night, I am alone, I left Lance in the Country to be with his father.
Part of me is afraid, I get afraid of the dark and the things that go bump in the night.
*As a side note and another subject line, I see ghost. I have seen several in my adult life. The ghost that I have seen have scared me, but nothing scares me as much as the person I refer to as the Boggy Man.

When I was just beginning college I had a stalker. He saw me leaving my mothers office one afternoon, noticed my Webster Univ sticker in the back of my car and followed me to school in STL. He was trolling outside of my mothers office eyeballing the girl who worked the clerk job at the local 5 and dime store. Plus he has ALWAYS had a twisted infatuation for my Aunt, whom I also resemble. The boogy man that haunts me at night is Robert McCoy, he drives an old (1984 ish) faded red / two door Cavalier - lic plates 705-XSL.
My second year in college I failed Accounting II - mind you I am an Accountant by career. Robert McCoy was the reason I failed Accounting back in the late 1990's. Back then, the laws did not protect people from stalkers. I contact campus police on multiple occasions, I met with Webster Groves police to file several reports. Bottom line, unless the guy actually touched me - there was nothing they could do.
I kept telling them, 'IF he gets close enough to touch me, I am as good as gone.'
The boogy man moved on to stalking my sister, then a Senior in HS. My father ended up beating the crap out of the man on the HS parking lot, I am sure today he wishes he would have killed him.

My moment of divine-intervention:
Over the weekend, I am out at my mothers just dropping off parts from STL for my father and his motorcycle. My father comes in from mowing the lawn, I just stopped in to change Pyper's diaper and are headed out the door. While inside the phone rings.......
It is Courtney (my 12 yr old niece) and she is stuttering, semi frantic and semi upset to be speaking with me. Initially, I chalked it up as the angst of a teenager, but she started speaking quickly 'A. Beenie, we are at the dollar store and Robert McCoy is in here too, following us. It is me, mom and all of the kids (they had my sisters 4 kids too). Where is Pa (my father)? We need him to come down.'
My eyes begin to tell my father that something is wrong. I start stating ' he is right here. Yes, I will tell him, he is on ............(and before I could get out) his way.' He was out the door.
I run out to the porch and shout ' did you hear where they were at, and what was going on'.
He is quickly making his way to his Dodge Ram truck, and never looks back just states, ' Dollar General, and I am on my way. Beenie you stay here.'
My knees are shaking, I load up Pyper and kiss her softly, realizing that one false move and he would see her, and know what I now drive and get my plates.
I head to town, telling my self that I had to make sure everyone was okay. This situation had potential to be very bad.
I meet my father in town at the 4 way stop right before dollar general, I get in front of him and pull over in a parking lot across the street. Close enough to see the front door, but far enough away to not get noticed.
I watch my father pull his truck right next to my mothers van and head inside. He is big in stature, on a mission and in full stride. A local attempts to stop him at the front door for idol chit-chat, I see my father politely nod his head but keep walking. Clearly he has kids to protect and he will not fail.
While this is going on I creep in to the actual parking lot, windows up and begin surving the lot. WHY?

Two reasons, I have to know what this man looks like now and I have to know what he is driving. Because I need to know if I see it around my neighborhood. There are several late model cars in the lot - which I figure could be his. So I write down the description and plates of 4 potential cars. All the while Pyper is gabbing in the back round, as if she is reminding me that she needs to not be noticed.
I am filled with fear, shaking from head to toe. I pull to the far right corner of the lot and wait. Then my father walks out, carrying two kids and surround by the other 3. Even at the far end of the lot, you can feel that he was on a mission, he is standing his ground, and making his presence known.
I watch everyone load up. My father places each kid, softly in his truck. My mother loads up by herself in her van. Pyper sees my mother from the parking lot and starts screaming for Nana. Luckily my windows were rolled up, I keep trying to soother her telling her we would see Nana soon. I keep trying to see if the Boogy Man is inside or out, he is know for sitting in his car and watching. As they drive off I assume that the Boogy Man must be inside the store, therefore I never get a good look at him.
I start to take off and I am in tears, I make my way to my grandmothers house, just a few blocks away. I need to re-group, and pray that she is home. Once again God is on my side, and while I am calming down, trying to calm down Pyper and speak with my Grandma to give her a run down of the events - she gets a phone call.
Apparently, my father and the boogy man met up with each other at the local gas station. My father must have stopped with the kids for something, and the Boogy man made the gas station his next stop as well.
I ask my grandmother to drive, once again I don't want this man to know what I look like, what I drive or that I have a little girl.
We get there and everyone is gone.
This man prays on women and kids, please protect your family as well.
He is a registered sex-offender in Jeff Co. I pray that god will continue to protect us, and place St. Michael at our door while my husband is gone. I may be afraid, but he will not win. His intentions are not good, and I often wonder what drives people that far over the edge. As I get older, I become more afraid for the people I need to protect. And right now I need to protect the identity of my children. This man is a predator, he lives off fear, and gets off making us uncomfortable. I never wanted anyone dead, but for the life of me, nothing good can come of this man. And in order to keep my children safe, I think I could kill him.
Every bump in the night has me on edge, every noise makes me restless. As the sun goes down, I count the hours until it come back up again.
Tomorrow, I will speak with our Chief of PD, and see what advice he will offer. I am not afraid to die, but I will not let my children suffer at the hands of a manic. He will have to kill me first. And so the story of our internal hell continues...................he may not have seen my family this weekend, but it really is just a matter of time. That you can be sure of.

So once again : WARNING
Robert McCoy, he drives an old (1984 ish) faded red / two door Cavalier -
lic plates 705-XSL. May he rot in HELL.............

Friday, July 11, 2008

Slient Prayers...

We are planning on heading to the country this weekend, we will be going to grandpa's house, and Lance will stay the week with him.

The kids and I will travel back Sunday, leaving Lance to spend sometime with his 78 yr old father. On Tuesday, his father is scheduled to have heart is suppose to be a simple surgery. But at 78 yrs old, nothing is simple. The doctors have said, he needs to have some additional stints placed around his heart. He has a leaky heart valve, and they are not unrealistic to the fact that once they get in there, they may find other issues. Bottom line, this issue maybe bigger than any of 'think'.

I have not had to deal with alot of death. Nor do I have to deal with elderly parents, my parents are in their mid 50's. So the thought of them dying of old age, is just not at the forefront.

But for Lance, he has never really known the life having young parents, therefore they have always been elderly in his eyes. Lance does not do well with emotions, hospitals, surgery ect.

Since the passing of Lance's step-mom last November, his father has lost his gusto, his zing, his spice for life. Sure he lives. He get ups every morning, brushes his hair, teeth- but nothing much beyond that. He is sad, lonely, and misses his life partner. Grandpa has Parkinson's which has made some of his old hobbies impossible. Therefore Grandpa can no longer paint or build items in his garage. His love for his computer and the table of geology has worn out its welcome and sits in a folder on his desk gathering dust. He does not reach out old family members or friends, he does not get out daily and tool around his property or tend his garden. Rather he sits lonely in his recliner watching Sci-Fi or the History Channel. He placed a photo of him and Nancy over the fire place so he has a perfect view of it at all times. Thoughts of her will bring a tear to his eyes, and cause him quiver with sadness.

Lance and I have been testy this past week. Stepping on each others toes, snapping at each other and letting the distance consume our household. For me it is probably PMS, for him I am sure he is stressed about his dad and the upcoming week. When I go to the hospital next Tuesday, after work to see my husband - he will hug and kiss me with the spirit of a thousand men. He will be glad to see me, and glad to have a moment to get away, and discuss the series of events with the one person who understands him the best. So for now, I let him be testy and short, because tomorrow he may be heartbroken.

I pray that everything goes well. I am not sure emotionally where the loss of his dad may put him.

It would be hard to imagin my family not being able to go to the home that Grandpa built with his own two hands. It will be hard to imagin our lives without this grumpy, slightly off color (at times) man who still gets a twinkle in his eye when he sees his youngest son (my husband) enter his home. Grandpa enjoyes the time we spend togther. Him and I spend countless hours around the coffee table or sitting on his porch. At times he will reach over and give my hand a tight squeeze as if to say 'thank you for being around.' At the end of the night I wish him well, kiss him lightly, and whisper in his ear to tell Grandma Nancy hi for me too.

* Grandpa tells me that he see's Grandma Nancy every night in their bedroom. She vists him, and tells him everything is okay. Grandpa knows this kind of talk is frowned upon by Lance and his siblings, so he appreciates that he can share that small sense of joy with me.

I pray that my family gets more time with grandpa, and that he knows how much he is loved before he goes into surgery. He may not want to come out of surgery, and that is something we don't know how to prepare for.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Once removed...........

Last night we gathered around the TV to watch the finale of Hell's Kitchen.
It was nail biter by all accounts for the DePew household. Over the last few weeks Lance and I would make bets over who would be eliminated, who made the best food, who sucked, and who was funny. Last night was no different. There were two finalist - as usual. But, I semi-knew the girl.

Her father is the Citys investment banker, I speak to him on a regular basis. Actually during a Christmas party last year, during casual conversation he mentioned to me that his daughter was going to participate in Hell's Kitchen. I informed him how I LUV Gordon Ramsay - because he is loud, obnoxious and just down right rude. ( Clearly all qualities I luv in my men).

The investment banker and I spent the better half of the evening talking about his daughter, and how she was in school and how she was excited to the show. As the show kicked off I got an invitation in the mail to attend a premier party at his house, to watch the first episode with him and his friends. We were unable to attend the premier party, but each time I spoke with Mr. Investment banker I kept up the general conversation about Hell's Kitchen.

We spoke on and off for the entire season. Each time I would state' Christina is doing great, you have to be so proud.' And like a proud papa he would extended a generous thank you, and comment on how excited he was for her.

Well, last night she WON. Her father was on the show, her mother was on the show. And I sat in my living room jaw dropped open, gasping -'She won! She won! How COOL is that?'

Yesterday, I had to call Mr. Investment guy, we had a maturity, and his assistant answered. I asked to speak with him and she indicated he would be out for a week. I indicated to the assistant how excited I was for that evenings finale, and she too indicated they would all be rooting for Christina.

So there you have it - I am once removed from the new winner of Hell's Kitchen. I wonder if I go to Vegas if I can get the food hook-up??? Perhaps?
I have one more...
The winner of the James Beard Award (another foodie award) is the Chief of Police's son. SWEAR! Patrick Connolly from good ol' Saint Lou...
The Chief went to NYC last month to attend the award show, and spoke about seeing Bobby Flay, and his wife. I asked about Andrew Zimmerman, Anthony Bourdain etc.
The Chief is not a foodie, so he just mentioned how HOT Bobby Flays wife was - the rest of it was over his head. I mean for real, he said the food was 'just fine'.
WHAT? I am sure it was GREAT.
I am going to NYC next Thursday. The Chief is reaching out to his son Patrick, to see if we can get into this restaurant. GIRL SHRIEK!!!
Last one swear - this one is not food related.
The Chief of Police has another son who plays for the Patriots, he is not first string but working his way up none the less. He was kind enough to send my son a few autographed photo's of himself, the team and Tom Brady ( I have no shame).
* As a side note I have met both of the Chiefs son's and they are great guys, really down to earth. There you have I am once removed...I wonder if I am 6 degrees from Kevin Bacon yet??

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Edward Scissor Hands....

Well, I got my hair cut took over 2 hours to get that hair in what the 'dresser' considered a good shape.

She went to town with her razor, and when I say went to town. I felt like an Ice sculpture being raped by Edward Scissor hands.

She would eye an angle, run the razor thru it, eye it again and my hair got shorter, shorter and more choppy by the moment. But WHY stop there?

I asked for tones of brown, to be put in. I asked that I not get all over color. I normally just get highlights, but I wanted to take them out. I am not sure what she heard - because I got all over color and it has a RED tint. The underneath is pumpkin red (SWEAR!).

*Bottom line, it is a what I would consider choppy, it has a ton of layers. Layers are hard to get use to, when you are not use to having them. And the color, well if the sunlight hits it I may be mistaken for a ripe pumpkin.

My husband HATES it - as usual. Unless it is long, and 80's style he wants nothing to do with it. He just grinned and walked away. The grin that states 'I will just walk away and say nothing - because if I say anything it will suck.'

Nothing worse than standing in your bathroom, attempting to take photos of yourself. It is WEIRD, no matter how you look at it. But I have NO shame from time to time, so here you go.

(nice arm pits - shave much? )

Any feed back you can give will be greatly appreciated.
I don't love it, I don't hate - I am still trying to get use to it.
Any ideas - products that work?- recommendations are welcome.

I also got my eyebrows waxed - and she states "Michelle, yours are worse than mine. Good gosh girl.'

*Thanks for the news flash - that is why I am here. DUH.
If she really wanted to be shocked she should have felt my legs.......

Monday, July 7, 2008

Fun times....

Whew we survived the weekend - I think.

I woke up at 6am, and stated ' I sure could use another 2 hours of sleep', and with that I rolled over and fell back asleep. Lance came back, 15 min later and reminded me to get up, thank god he was still home or I would have over-slept.

My children are BEAT, but they had a great long weekend.
Thursday, my day off, I took ALL of the kids to Monkey Joe's in Crestwood. And when I say all the kids I mean all 7 of them ;
*Courtney 12 / Paige 8 / Rylan 7 / Payton 7 / August 4 / Grant 2 / Pyper 2

I wore their butts out, and they were asleep before we even left the parking lot.

I have been to Monkey Joes and BounceU - Monkey Joe's is good for the little kids, it seemed to have alot more for them to do. Towards the end I state ' come on kids it is time to go.'

Grant comes out of one of the sites and he is crying, major croc tears, I 'think' he is hurt. I lean down and ask' what is wrong' He states ' I don't wanna go, I wanna stay. me no go.'

I am a sucker for kids, so we stayed another 45 minutes. Which gave me the cool aunt sticker for the day. I will bribe them any day of the week, no shame here!
Friday we headed off to the lake for some swimming, boating and skiing.

Rylan tried to ski for his first time. Gosh, he is his FATHER's son. He trained on the dock first, thought he would be able to get up on his first try. He swallowed a bunch of water, lost his shorts and got water up his nose. He was PISSED. He decided not to try again. Everyone tried to rally around him, and let him know it was par-for-the course, but he would hear nothing of it. The damage was done. He failed the first time and would not be made a fool of again. He got back on the boat and threw his vest down. I just gave him some space.
Not to gloat, but I got up on ski's after not putting them on in over 8 yrs. I go up on my first try - who knew. No my arse, arms and shoulders are sore - but well worth it. Lance decided that he would be the peanut gallery, sitting back stating ' you cannot do it, you will fall' .
Notice, he never even tried. So kiss my sore butt buddy!
Pyper was hesitant of the water, and spent most of her time wrapping her head around the whole idea of being on a dock and so close to the water. She warmed up to the boat by the end of the day, and we chalked this day up as a good one.
We left the dock and headed home for bbq and fireworks.
My sister came over, her kids, mother-n-law and we were all together celebrating the 4th.
Saturday, you would think we would have had enough. But NO...we had another BBQ and firework show to attend. Pyper and I slept until 9 (good girl).
So once again we drug our kids around, went swimming, stayed out way too late and celebrated our holiday.
Sunday, dear god it is hear yet? We got up and went to church. When I say we, I mean minus Lance. He 'thinks' he has a good excuse - he had Cards / Cubs tickets. He left at noon, while we were still at church. After church we changed and went to Misty's for a little family time with all the kids.
Still after it all it does not feel as if I got any REST. My kids did not get up today, I took them to the sitter in their pj's..thank god she understands.
We are happy to report no burns - sun induced or firecracker related. We are all intact, happy to be together, and glad we shared our weekend with family and friends.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Day photos.

It is my day OFF - yeah! My morning started off a bit rough. I am not a morning person, but my children are - gods way of punishing me. *One would think she was brushing her teeth, don't be fooled - she is just playing in the toothpaste.

Luckily my feet are ready to go for the long weekend, if only the rest of me was. Coffee, I NEED coffee. Must place 'piggies' on the floor and walk to coffee pot...grr.
WAIT...stop the presses. My 7 yr old, who went to bed at 7pm last night, because he was beat from summer play - made me breakfast! SWEAR. He even made me coffee w/ creamer. The child is god sent. I am not sure his father really helped me reproduce him - Lance would NEVER.
*I officially dip his arse in gold, and let him choose the activity of the day. He wanted Six Flags, but the rain will keep us away. We will settle on a movie instead.

Moment of insanity. Why not share a morning photo of yourself? It looks like a mug shot. And this ladies and gentlemen is what we wake up to everyday. Jealous, I know. Too bad we don't have smell-a-vision, my dragon breath matches my nappy hair. Which by the way will NOT get cut today, I have decided to wait until Monday, when I won't have to have Pyper in tow. A shower would be helpful - but it is my day off.
Have a great Thursday....mine is already looking up.
For the smile of the day head on over the Mamalouges and read her post, it had me laughing out loud. BTW - I live next door to 'swingers' - CREEPY.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008


Monday night hubby and I went to the ball-game w/ clients.
He was well-behaved - for the most part. We arrived in our Cardinal attire, and the people who invited us were still in their work attire.
um....really? At a cards game? The man in front of me had a suit on - we had on jeans, t-shirts and flip-flops. We left at the top of the 8th - because we were going to beat their pants off.
We left the ball park and made our way to the Broad-Way Oyster Barr.
We had a bucket of alligator tails and a grinder - yum..
If you have never been, I highly recommend it. They had live music on the patio, and we could have stayed all night.
There were several shirners in the house, and they were dancing their old butts off - they were a really good time. I smiled, laughed and really enjoyed myself. We had to pry ourselves from the environment, reminding ourselves that we still had to drive home, get our kids and get up the next day.
Lance has our normal seats for tonight game (right on the 3rd base line). He said Monday night, 'our section is better this this section, because in our section they are Cardinals FANS. Here, they are a bunch of suits and ties.' Lance will shout, clap, chant, wave and curse if necessary.
He also has tickets to Sunday's game. He is quite the busy beaver this week, and you can tell by the smile across his face that he is stoked!
I don't really care for the game, or to go to the game. I went Monday night, because we were invited - and it was work related. Otherwise, I send Lance and he takes family or friends.
But while we were down town, I was reminded why I loved it so much. The street vendors, the people, the buildings, the traffic. ahhh.
Highlight - I am off work tomorrow. I am getting my hair done at 10 am - it is TIME to get some prof help. Then, me and kids will wing it.
We are suppose to go boating with another family on Friday for the 4th - but I fear it may rain. We are flexible, so no big deal. Saturday, we have a bbq at a friends house. Sunday, Lance has the game and I will relax w/ the kids.
I will post photos randomly over the weekend.....but in another 3 hours I am outta here!!
Happy 4th of July.

A rise..from sister pants.

This was posted from my sister....last night.
this comment is not directed to my sister but to all that read the blog. i have now assumed everyone has developed an opinion of me, my husband, and our friends. i desire not to change them but to give a full circle view of me and some of them. i am a stay at home mom of 4 yes 4. and have realized everyone being very bunched up about my actions. well now that i have decided to have time outside of my home and family , i am no longer at every ones constant disposal(oh my there is a person under that mom, sister, aunt , daughter,wife). yet i keep my niece anywhere from 2-6 weeks every summer, my niece and nephew when a snow day arises or a baby sitter cancels. i am the crazy out of control , undependable one.yet i go out of my way to be with family and friends and develop traditions for not just may kids but also my nieces and nephews. i held thanksgiving , have a day to bake and decorate Christmas cookies, Christmas, and Easter at my house (including dressing up as the Easter bunny and hiding eggs for the kids) i spend my days entertaining , caring for , and tending to my 4 plus many other kids all the time. not because i get paid to babysit but because its what i enjoy(my family). i do try to give 100% to the ones i love all the time yet when i spend a few hours a week to me it makes me undependable.(who else can u call and say I'm going to Alaska for 6 weeks , a week after i listed my house to sell and move while i got 4 kids of my own) i try to go out of my way when someone ask s me for anything(neighbors to mothers) and ask very little for others to pick up my slack. i make every school party ( as head room mom) , pop popcorn all day for popcorn day, hold icream socials as extra treats for my kids. (granted 2 in school 2 home with me. going to all of this and everything else(doct, dentist,ect..) due to i have no babysitter. yet while everyone else works their 40 hour weeks i am giving to theirs and mine all day. so yea i go out Friday and Saturday nite, so what. say i leave at 7 till 2 that's only 7 hrs . that equals 14 hrs a week(even if i went out every nite my time away would be time that my kids are sleeping . i would still spend more time with then than a mother that works part time . not that i am judging but come on me having time out of the house is not that much) that i get away from my house . 14 hrs a week that are mine to chose to do whatever i want. would it be better if i went to movies? scrapbooked? well those are my 14 hrs to chose what i want, not for others to judge. because the other 154 yea 154 hrs a week i am at home taking care of everyone and thing else. and really of those 14hrs my kids are asleep for8 of them. and no one knows how hard i work my butt off to get those hrs . dinner is always done , the kids are always bathed, beds turned down. i always keep all laundry done, house cleaned, groceries shopped. i take care of everything else before i ever consider having my time. so begrudge me that all u want, but understand i am not crazy , out of control, or losing my mind. just enjoying being just me a few hrs a week , yes maybe even every week but that is the only time i get be just misty. its mine and i appreciate my husband for understanding and my true best friend for being part of who i am outside of losing a piece of me in just being mom and wife. so to those who know me and my family(that include angie, eric, and gwen) you really have know idea who we are just that we are usually always here when u need us. THOSE WHO LIVE IN GLASS HOUSE SHOULD NOT THROW STONES.

to sum up my last comment while i may act like a wild animal while i am out, and trust me i act like a wild animal. i also come home to my husband and kids everynite and wake up and give 100% the next day regardless of what i did the nite before. as for my best buddie those 14 hrs a week is the only time she gets to give her mind a rest and try to feel 50%normal. because trust me the other 154hrs a week every week she reminds herself that she is a mom and has to have a reason to get out of bed or even keep breathing! i know i see her 100 of those other hrs also hanging out being moms, and friends. life's hard, good friends go a long way;)
From Michelle:
I know that she needed to have her say, so I posted it.
That being said, I am ready to put this 'issue' to rest. I am mentally exhausted.
I called Angie, yesterday, left her a v/m. I apoligized, and I am going to let nature run its course. Part of being friends in learing how to get over the rough patches.
Time will tell how the rest pans out.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Drama = apology.

Well, my post from yesterday had the phones ringing off the hook.
Someone ran across my post, and was angry, saddened and put off my what I had to say.
And now that i look back i cannot blame them.

*However, I would like to state, as I tried to explain last night. This site is for 'me' - it holds a grain of truth, but the rest is just nonsense. It is a place for me to vent, grip, share stories and photo's - and if my friends, family and extended viewers take all of it to heart then you have missed the spirit of what I am trying to accomplish.

This site is not designed to spread rumors, give the family topics to discuss or hurt any ones feelings. It is laced with humor, loving remarks, and a few off base - not well thought out post.

I must apologize for broadly stating yesterday that about the manner in which Angie may or may not be grieving. I should have never, never, never went there - it was insensitive, shitty and down right wrong of me to go there and place that opinion on a post.

My father states 'opinions are like arse-holes; everyone has one and they all stink.'

My heart aches for her and her loss, I am not sure how she has the strenght to get up everyday and deal with the normal everyday stuff life has to throw at her. And I should have NEVER written anything that would have encouraged others to form an opinion about her. For all of the drama that surrounds the situation, it really is small in comparison to the reality she has to deal with. I don't want for anyone to ever think that she is not like, loved and embraced my 'our' family. And when you enter into a family like this you are subject to 'our' normal family nonsense. Which is at times hard to swallow, and difficult to manage. I did not meant to add to her already hectic life, nor did I mean for her to question my intent as far as she was concerned. I think she is a great mom, and should have said that, yesterday. I think she has been dealt a raw deal and she is dealing with it the best she knows how. I think she is lucky to have my sister and her husband as confidants. I hope she knows in her heart of hearts that I never meant to hurt her, or offend her. I hope she takes the time to read some of my other post in order to get a sense of what I 'do' here on this site. It is not about causing drama, bringing people down, or encouraging others to form opinions about people - positive or negative. It is just a place for me to share things. And yesterday, I should have kept my mouth shut. I know sorry is not enough, and the damage has been done. There will be an undertone of mis-trust, and misunderstanding.

The situation on Saturday is laced with exaggeration, frustration and moments of truth on my mothers part. Which for those of you that know her , is always the case.
Yes, they went to Florida - that is about the only spec of truth.
In speaking with my sister, she indicates that she did try to call my mother several times and was unsuccessful, she did have everything lined out and the trip was not STUPID - but necessary.

I hate to think that I would need to shut down this blog or curve the manner in which I write -because people are unable to separate the moments from the overall picture.
For example, just because I post one day about not liking Lance - does not mean we are getting divorced. Or when I post about being depressed and sad - it does not equal anything other than me having a bad day or a bad moment.

So, hopefully everyone can take it all in stride, when I speak about my sister, brother or friends - know that there are so many good qualities that I fail to mention. There are so many good moments and good thoughts that maybe clouded by the moments of insanity.

If you are unable to separate the moments needing to vent from the overall picture of truth, then I suggest you move on. Do not pick up the phone every time you read something. Or if you feel the need to pick up the phone then call the one person who can change or correct it - that would be me.

Once again I am sorry I offended, angered and stirred unnecessary emotions.
Each post should be alittle more thought out, and I fail at times to take into consideration my audience or lack there of. But once again, I am not looking for an audience, I am looking for an outlet. I am babbling and repeating. I know words hurt, and I am trying to be more aware - my learning curve is steep.
I did not sleep well last night, I hate to think that I contributed to another level of nonsense in someone else's life. Please keep Angie, her daughter and her family in your prayers - separate the nonsense from the truth and take it all with a grain of salt. I like her, I wish her the best, and I hope she finds her way out of this in tact. I pray she is not beat up by my family, and that my random thoughtless words do not tarnish any ones view of who she really is or the struggles she really encounters.
I pray that she will forgive me, and my family - for the rumor mill is rolling; and like everything the sh*t rolls down hill.

Judgement is not mine to cast, and I threw out a net with many holes that need to be filled. This is a small gesture in the scope of things.

I am a big girl, and can own up to being wrong and petty and off base.
*Sorry, just does not seem like enough, but it is all I have at the moment.


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