If you can't Eat it or Screw it.
Piss on it and Walk Away.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Then while reading a blog, I glance over at 'their' blog roll - I figure these people must be reading some pretty witty stuff as well. Before I know it I am overwhelmed with trying to keep up with every one's lives or stories. It can be very overwhelming. And at the same time, very creepy. I feel as if I am peeping tom - peering in to a small window of these peoples lives. It is weird, I feel close to them without even knowing them. I feel bonded to them just by their words. I find that very weird, but addictive non-the-less.
Then there is the whole process of writing your own blog. Well, for some it is a process. Apparently, people blog for an audience. I did not get that memo during blogger 101. Oh, that's right, I did not take blogger 101. I started this blog, for me...just little ol'me, and my hair-brain stories, neortice non-sense, and dysfunction but loving family. I am sure you have notice, that my post are pretty much all over the place, a lot like how I talk and think. I do not think about what to post, if there is a flow, if my punctuation is okay or if my spelling is correct. *as I am sure most of you have noticed. I do not feel pressure to post everyday. I do not temper my post wondering who might be reading it. (well, maybe just once or twice - when I was writing about my sister). I do not take the comments to heart, or get all jazzed if I have 5 comments or none.
But apparently some do. Who knew? It seems like a alot of work to me. Work that some people luv. um...not me, not so much. Apparently, there are some bloggers out there who actually make money at this.....what a great gig. But not for me. I am not a writer, as you can tell. I write for my sake, sanity and release. I never knew i would find it so therapeutic and meet some really cool people along the way.
What i have noticed along the way is that some of my blog favorites are either shutting down, posting less, or moving to 'private'. They feel beat-up, less inspired, or have started curving the way the write due to comments they have heard in real life. Dude, frankly, that sucks. What will I do with my time? Something productive? I really felt reading about everyone was productive. It helps me feel less alone in this journey of being a working mom of two. Misery loves company and a glass of wine.
I am not going anywhere, and I hope I never reach the point where this small little glimpse into my life feels like a chore rather than a release. I beg you people keep posting, I will keep reading. Stop counting new traffic and feed the friends you have...we need the coffee and cake along with the back-packs and kid drama. It feeds my soul. I am so surprised at how much it feeds my soul. I read about new mom's, family's with children all grown up, divorced women, a few dads, young mom's, working professionals, college students, - the post are endless. I hope I never reach the point where I feel less important due to the amount of traffic my site gets. I guess when you never set out to do anything other than just be around, it is pretty hard to fail. I am not going anywhere anytime soon. I have grown to luv this gig, and everyone elses.
Here are a few I totally dig daily:
Bun - I have met her in real life. She post about everything from family, friends, work. She is a must read. http://bunslife.blogspot.com/
Debbie - who has over-cooked her family. She has a site that is inspired by cooking, family and friends. My mother would like her ( I think).http://www.dishingwithdebbie.com/wordpress/
Jeannettee - I luv her photo's, music and quirky post. http://jeannetteeatsspaghetti.blogspot.com/
Dana from Mamlogues - basically the goddess of blogging. She is a wonderful writer. A must read everyday. http://www.mamalogues.com/
Midwestern mommy - she has a softness, and warmness about her blog post. She welcomes you with open arms, and shares her moments with such class. http://midwesternmommy.com/
My favorite snarky blogger. LUV her in real-life and via the blog. Her ex SUCKS, her daughter rocks and her parents drive her nuts. Could it get any more exciting? http://www.nogainnoloss.blogspot.com/
This mommy recently lost her two children. A state trooper was driving to fast and killer her girls. She is picking up the pieces, one day at a time, one event at a time and taking us along for the journey. http://jumpwithfaith.blogspot.com/
This women ROCKS. She works at Target and sells sex toys on the side. She is blunt, witty, snarky. She takes you along on her emotional journey, and provides sex tips along the way. http://firecrackermomma.blogspot.com/. If she lived close to STL, her and my mother would be best friends.
A mom all of us can relate to, or hope to be one day. For real she just posted about stair sliding with her kids. She drives them to school in her pj's and lets into her life one post at a time. http://slacker-moms-r-us.com/
The Wise old black women. She is a poet, baker, mom, wife, and photographer. View the site, read the post and become part of her life, it is well worth the time. http://blaquepen.com/wobl/
This is a small sample of what I enjoy reading. I have 20 more that I view, but ran out of time. Get your coffee, comfy chair and enjoy the ride. Rocking the world one blog post at a time. These thoughts may not be important in the whole scope of life, they keep me going one day at a time.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
I made banana bread and zucchini bread. I know stand back, gasp and grab your chest. Let a small 'what?' escape your lips, I REALLY did bake bread. I found the 'easy' recipes from food-network.com and whipped em' up. Who knew, it was not too bad and my kids really enjoyed helping.
Pyper would stand next too the bowl saying 'I kook. I kook.' Then she would turn on the beater and let it lie on the table. *Even Lance said how good they were. I informed him that he should just stop right there, before he screwed up the compliment. He smiled and shoved his face full of bread. Normally, I burn anything I cook or forget an ingredient and most of my stuff turns out suckie. We are taking small strides and getting our kids involved. Plus, it put my almost rotten bananas to good use.
Lance got on board with the idea of fixing some items a head of time.
So here we go, our first week of trying to have a few meals ready.
1) Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes. Burgers are already grilled and covered in the mushroom sauce, the potatoes are already mashed. Just heat and eat. We will have this tonight.
2) Taco meat. Shredded cheese, salsa. Wednesday we will have tacos or any version of taco meat you would like. I prefer to have a taco salad.
3) Pig-'n'-a-Blanket. Hotdogs, biscuits, green beans. *I hate hot-dogs, so I will eat something left over or a quick sandwich. We will have these on Thursday.
Friday is a free day and we will put our pointer finger to good use and call for delivery.
Here's to praying this week is better than last!
Any quick meals you can recommend would be highly welcome.....we are winging it.
Monday, August 25, 2008
That is it, I am NOT going to take him with me to any more functions.
I am going to call my gay friend Jacob, I know he can behave like a normal human being. Well, maybe not too normal, but he can fake it for an hour or two.
My work had a family picnic this past Friday, we closed City Hall at 3pm and kept the pool area open until 10pm. We were encouraged to bring our families for the activities. I left work, went home packed a cooler, the kids and the hubby. We arrived around 5pm, and settled into one of picnic tables. My son gathered with the other children and began playing with the balloons, my daughter found a little tent they had set up, and my husband made small talk with the random people he knew.
While I chased Pyper around the pavilion, I see Lance speaking with the Mayor. They are in the center of the pavilion and seem pretty chummy. I thought about breaking them up, but then decided that after the Chinese chicken episode, Lance knew better than to act a fool. I continued to chase Pyper, we spent another 3 hours at the picnic - playing, swimming, eating etc.
On the way home, I look over at Lance and casually state:'I saw you and the mayor talking, you two looked pretty chummy.'
Lance 'yeah. did you know he was leaving for Florida?'
Me 'Yeah, he was leaving the picnic and heading to Kentucky tonight.'
Lance 'Yeah, I told him they had nice titty-bars in Florida.'
*my head is spinning, I feel faint. Did her REALLY just say titty-bars in a sentence?
Me ' YOU did not!'
Lance ' Yeah, he said was headed to his time-share. He was meeting other retirees from 3M. And that they would play golf and stuff while the wives went shopping.'
Me ' How did you get from golf and shopping to porn?'
Lance ' Michelle, it was just general conversation. No big deal. He agreed, that they had some nice ones.'
Me 'What did you expect him to do? Will you never learn? He probably thinks I am married to the biggest Hoosier. He probably thinks we are either swingers, porn stars or that you beat me. WhY would you....I mean really the word titty-bars. UGH.'
Lance 'get over it. You are making it a bigger deal than it really is.'
Me ' Just once, cannot you have a normal conversation. Like - how's your golf game, been enjoying the weather, or nice shirt. But NO! I get the husband that uses words like cocksucker and titty-bars. Classy. We are C.L.A.S.S.Y.'
Friday, August 22, 2008
I HATE it when that happens. I have had something to do every day/night this week, and it will roll into our weekend as well.
It has gotten so bad that last night our son is in bed telling his father that 'I just want a day off. I want a down day to do nothing.' *his nothing is code: for play video games. But his words continue to ring in my head today. I too want a day off, a day take a breath and not rush around. I don't see any of those days in the near future. *sigh.
Even when we schedule fun things to do, it is still a chore sticking to the schedule. Like this evening. Work is having an employee picnic; we all get off at 3pm rather than 4:30. They have opened the pool for employees and their families and they will feed us well. But in order to get there I have to run home, change, get my kids, pack them a few items (half the house), load up and return back to work. And after last night, our 4th day in a row of having plans, I am spent!
A brief glimpse into events last night:
Prior to departing for football practice last night I watched the weather, and checked for updates on the web-site like a teenage boy eyeballing a centerfold. You could not keep me away. Where in the hell is the damn storm warning, I kept saying under my breath. I just KNEW they would cancel practice. Boy was I wrong. We parked in the mud, we walked thru the mud, only to sit in the sporadic rain. These football people are HARD CORE. While walking thru the mud pit, I glanced over at another mom, and stated ' I really thought they would cancel tonight.'
She smirked (with that oh, you silly girl smirk) 'They never cancel. N.E.V.E.R'
Football last night was awful. Lance could not go because he worked two shifts, which is good for us, since he missed two days this week, but BAD for mamma because she had to do football practice all by her self. OHHH the DRAMA. Only this time the drama was not from little ms. drama queen, it was from my normally well mannered son. He was blubbering like an idiot, he was stomping around, not going on to the field and finding any small thing to complain about. I even had to pull out the 'I am calling your dad' card. *This normally works like a charm, but not last night. He called my bluff, so I called Lance and he got an earful of the 7 yr old blubbering idiot. I get the phone back to be informed that we should just leave.
This was music to my son's ears. He so wanted to leave.
I dug my heels in and first started out angry, half ass yelling at my already crying son. (I am a classy parent at times). I got a few of the 'looks' from the nearby parents. Then I changed my strategy, I bribed him. I told him IF he played then I would get him ice-cream, actually two ice-creams. Once he calmed down he was agreeable. Twenty minutes later he was not only agreeable, he was having a great time at practice. I kept my end of the bargin and drove thru dairy queen explaining to our son another life lesson. 'Sometimes we have to do things even when we don't want too.'
His response to me ' mom, I get enough lessons at school, so you should just stop trying on your end.'
I looked in the rear view mirror and smiled. That damn kid, even when I want to ring his neck, he makes me smile and laugh. Tell me that he'gets enough lessons at school'. *hump, little do you know little man, you are just beginning.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Here is alittle known fact, I work for a local city, I am a dept head for this little city.
I am also 15 yrs younger than all other dept heads. Plus I am fairly attractive and have not been overcome by the flat bottom syndrome, and side bulge that seems to have taken over the bodies of the other female department heads. It is apparent that they have let themselves go, and they are not keen on the fact that I have not, nor do I plan too.
I have heard snide comments about alot of my out-fits.
Once I wore a tailored skirt, button up shirt and knee high boots - apparently they did not find the boots to be acceptable, and I was spoken too by the City Admin. The Mayor (who is OLD) also finds some of my attire a bit testy. I am not old and dead, I am also not pushing the limits of the dress code. I am an avid Gen Xer, I like clothes, and I wear my clothes well. Shoot me, but don't think for one moment that I am going to dress down or OLD because that is what you are use to seeing.
I have body shapers, I wear slips, I don't show my panties, my shirts don't provide a peek-a-boo. I wear heels with no hose, I wear boots with skirts and dresses. I luv my boots, I feel comfortable in my boots. They are not hooker boots up to my thighs, they are nice dress boots.
Anyhoo...I got off track......with the attire issue.
Being in leadership role, does not make you a leader. Sort of like having a kid does not automatially make you a good mom. Being a good leader is a learning curve, and somewhere among it all you must not lose yourself.
I was beginning to lose myself, and question my ultimate intentions.
Here is my motto ' I would rather lose my job than lose my integrity.'
But here is my struggle, sometimes the lines between my integrity and my personal opinion provide a grey area. I am an emotionally driven person, I wear my heart and expressions on my sleeve. I smile, frown, and gasp openly during City meetings. I am by no mean vanilla. I am trying to take my time and make good decisions rather than hasty, emotional decisions.
I treat my employees with respect, and value them. The other department heads frown upon this practice. They run their departments with fear. How 1950's. I am not sure where i am going with all of this. I just needed to get it off my chest. I have a lot of things weighing me down, and would love to enter an environment that is progressive and utilizing leadership tools of the 21st century.
*Are there really places like that out there? Or is it just a pipe-dream?
I refuse to believe that I cannot have it all......a good family, and a job I really like to go to.
Here is the kicker, I love my job. I love what it entails, I am good at it.....I totally dig the numbers, the statements, the problems, the investments, the audits and the ever changing rules. Would it be easier if I looked the role, and acted like a hard-ass - perhaps.
But, then I would be a sell-out, and non-too happy. So, the saga continues...................for another day, another dollar, and another fight.
Monday, August 18, 2008
We did not run around like chickens with our heads cut off, we actually laid pretty low, and it was nice.
While on the back porch relaxing Rylan and I have the following conversation:
Rylan 'Hey mom.'
Me ' yeah.
R - 'Was I a good baby, like you?'
Me - I ponder this for a moment. He was not a good baby, he cried alot - but he had issues. 'You were as good as you could be given your clefting.'
R - 'Yeah, I bet I was pretty good. And I bet you talked alot as a kid'.
And with that he was done, and walked away.
I sat there mouth wide open, wanting to talk more. Imagine that!!!
This week is super busy at our home, and work current sucks. I have to admit I 'tired' of this particular job, and am seriously thinking about looking. It is hard to have 6 bosses, and hard to meander thru the egos, emotions and junk they find important.
As a side note, Pyper pooped on my couch. Regression in the works. That child was doing great potty training, but now has decided that number 2 needs to happen in her pants rather than on the potty. ICK.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Our normal routine cannot stay in place. Try telling that to my husband. We have fought every night of practice this week. WHY? Because he refuses to give up his routine. I am about to lose my mind. I about to sock him, I am about have a knock out - drag-out fight with this man. I looked at him last night, on the way to practice and said 'this is not fun. No one in our family is having fun with this, and I am ready for it to stop.'
His response to me' then maybe you should just stay home.'
*mind you all the while Pyper is in the back seat crying (about god knows what?), Rylan has fallen asleep (because he is TIRED), and we are fighting.
I was too livid to even respond. I shot him the hairy-eyeball, gave him the shoulder shrug and let him know we would talk later.
Last night I get home at 5pm, we are expected to leave at 5:30. Lance has the table set, and has made steak, potatoes & spinach.
This is his expectation of what should happen in a 1/2 hours time:
We should all eat
I should clean the table
Put the dishes in the washer
Make sure homework is done
Get Rylan's gear on - He has a TON of gear
Get Pyper a bag packed (toys, diapers, ect)
Pack a cooler of drinks for the practice
Let me tell you what really happens in a 1/2 hour.
I immediately change my clothes (I am wearing a a skirt and heals - I AM changing).
I sit down and try to eat. I get maybe 15 minutes
I start to clean the table around everyone STILL eating
Luckily, Rylan does not have homework - but what if he did??
I clean up Lance's kitchen mess (which sucks!). This alone could take 15 minutes.
And we start to scramble to get out the door.
Pyper does NOT get a bath, but I change her diaper
Rylan loads up, but forgets his pads and mouth piece.
We drive off and forget the cooler.
And we fought the whole time.
Does anyone else see the issue???????????????
So on the drive I make the following recommendation:
'perhaps you should plan a few meals over the weekend. meals that we can just heat up and run. Secondly, any reason we cannot just have sandwiches and chips like everyone else?'
He is pissed off ' What you didn't like dinner?'
Me 'It is not that I didn't like it, but it was not enjoyable. No one got to eat, and you are sticking to our normal schedule like a damn Nazi. We cannot be expected to actually sit down all together and eat a 3 course meal on a practice night'
Him ' Hail Hitler'.
So there you have it folks, football sucks. Last night Lance was upset that Rylan forgot half of his gear. I looked at Lance and said 'he is 7, you cannot expect him to really be responsible for all of his pads and stuff. That is our job.'
Rylan chimes in ' I didn't forget all of it, I got my cup.'
I smile ' of course you do!'
So here is where I am at. The schedule MUST change, and Lance must let it all go. Or else we will not play football this year. And if Rylan's school work does suffer, then I am pulling plug on the sport as well.
*Dear god, how do parents really do this?????? We are about to kill each other. Plus Rylan is beat, he does not want to get up the next day, and Pyper well she sucks as usual. But we have totally thrown them off - and for what? So, Lance can live a pipe-dream?
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Friday, August 8, 2008
Last night Lance totally nixed the float trip, due to the fact that we got the wedding invitation. His step-niece is getting married and he wants to go. It is not that I don't want to go, but I would rather go floating.
I have yet to remove my RSVP from the float trip.....I keep hoping I can finagle a way to go floating and skip the wedding. Is that bad? Perhaps.
But this is how wedding go, especially if Lance wants to attend.
The kids show up for the dinner and two dances. If I don't find the sitter than I will take them back home and sit with them until I need to go pick Lance up and drive him home.
I find a sitter prior to the event, and let them come to the dinner / 2 dances. The bring them to the sitter. Either way Lance will need a ride home and it is up to me to figure it all out.
So then I thought - Perhaps.
He could go to the wedding and I could go floating.
That went over like a dead weight. *silence on the end of the phone.
This is me being deflated and acting like a child. *and I wonder where Pyper got it from (duh!).
Thursday, August 7, 2008
*this is not Lance, but it is a good idea............- Don't go if you cannot get your ass up the next day and go to work!
* I am still giving him the cold shoulder. His boss said it was okay, but we all know that it is not. And of course last night I am ready for bed at 10pm, guess who is not. That' s right, Mr. I get to NAP all day.