Friday, October 31, 2008

1/2 DaY

Well it is here - Halloween and I am getting really excited.
Which surprises me, I normally don't like this holiday, and I am not sure why. I guess after having Rylan and living in an apt where we never got any kids, I never got really jazzed.

But with each passing year, this Holiday gets a little more of heart. My kids are SUPER excited. Which just penetrates to every being in our home. We have decorated, we have gotten a TON of candy, customs, and food (adult beverages). We are for all intensive purposes good to go.
Not to mention the weather....the weather is going to be 'effing beautiful.
I dressed in my long black skirt today, my orange shirt that barely holds my boobs and my boots. And just for grins, I showed up in a bright green wig. Everyone at work laughed - well almost everyone, the Chief of PD did not find it funny. WHATEVER!!!

I am leaving in 2minutes for the rest of the day. I am going to go to my son's Halloween party, pick up Pyper and maybe carve our pumpkins. If we don't get them carved - that will be just fine. Everything else is good to go.

Lance and I have an adult party to attend on Saturday, we will be dressing up. So that should be fun and interesting. I still have no idea what I am going to go as, but we will wing it tomorrow.

I will have photos to share later this weekend.
BTW - Lance still has NOT gotten his credit card issue nixed. He told them he wanted to cancel the subscription and they told him NO. And they said they would not refund his money. We will see........dumb, dumb, dumb.

Thursday, October 30, 2008


Disclaimer - I truly luv my hubby.
But I swear I think he inherited two STUPID genes. Not just one, but two....
Here is sample of his most recents stupid incident.
Last night I get home, and demand that he go by Sears and pick up a new grill. I state, 'just put it on the card, and we will pay it off on payday.'
*I do not encourage credit card use, it makes me break out in hives, but we need this today.

My comment triggered a previous conversation Lance had prior to my arrival home from work. He states ' Oh, by the way Michelle, speaking of the card, I put $895.00 on it today.'
I laugh out loud and state 'No you did not.'
He smirkes, 'Yeah, I did. Some guy called on the phone and said if we spent $895 today he could save us $3,000 in credit card debt.'
I look at him and state 'we dont' have $3,000 in credit card debt - so how could us spending 895 be any help. Dear god.'
Did you give them your social #?
Lance - 'Yeap.'
Me - Did you give them your card card #?
Lance 'Yeap, they needed it in order to have the 895 today.'
Me- I am too stunnded to speak, I am beginning to break out in hives. I am not angry at this point, I am too shocked at how stupid he was.
Lance continues - ' I told the guy on the phone that my wife would be really upset, and he told me to have you call him. Here is his 800 number, Michelle call him.'
Me - 'Why did you do this on the fly? Why not wait so we could discuss?'
Lance 'Because the guy said I had to do it now to get the deal.'
Me 'Of COURSE he did.' * I am drinking at this point. I left the glass of wine half full on the table and moved on to swigging straight from the bottle.
Lance - 'Look Michelle (he pulls out a piece of paper), I have all of their info. they are ligit.'
Me - I glance at the piece of paper, and see an 800 number as well as a PO box in Clearwater FL. That's right folks, my hubby gave his information to someone with a 800 number and a PO Box. OMG.......OMG..........OMG.
I cannot belive he was that STUPID.
I look at him and ask ' Why did you even really speak with the man? You normally ask any 800 to please quit calling us, and take us off their list. Were you bored, and needed some company?'
I have asked him to call the company today and CANCEL the expense. He said fine.
Then he called me back 10 minutes later and said 'THEY really think they can help us. I want you to send them all of our information as well as any contracts we have.'
ME - HELL NO. Are you kidding me Lance, this is a SCAM.'
Lance - 'Why would we not do this if they can save us money? I don't understand you Michelle.'
What am I dealing with????????????
Someone please help me.
I feel like I am dealing with Patrick from Spongebob!!!!

Monday, October 27, 2008

Sprint to the End

Can you believe that October is almost OVER.
Where in the hell did the month go?
Somewhere between the meetings, meetings, meetings and meetings this month I lost the entire month.
Dear heaven. That means, that next is Thanksgiving and then the dreaded Christmas.
*****I HATE the holidays. It seems like way too much work on my end.
So much going on, so little time to blog about it.
Where to start???

um. Well, my budget meetings are almost over. YEAH. I have my final one this Tuesday, then we will wrap it up, issue it and move on to the audit work. In the mean time, last week I re-arranged my office. This is code for DEAR GOD WE HAVE ALOT OF CRAP. I have alot of stuff in the conference room that still needs my attention, but I just shut off the light and closed the door. I cannot look at it any more today. I will tackle a little more of it tomorrow. It was very overwhelming, and I am sure in the end it will be a good idea. But today it still seems daunting.

My boss apparently had a meeting last Thursday with the powers to be. From the under ground gossip it must not have gone well. I am still waiting for the process to correct the problem, and I guess the fact that they have had a meeting with him now gives me hope. It is my understanding that he returned from the meeting and gave someone in the office a thumbs down. I guess that is code for not going to make it. I am trying to stay out of the gossip, and out of his way. Therefore I am tearing apart my office, so I have to clean it, and letting my work pile up so I am not tempted to get caught up in the gossip wheel. *which is hard, I am FEMALE.
But so far so good.........
Keep my fingers crossed that the wheels are in motion.

This weekend was good. I will briefly re-cap.
I had 7 kids on Friday night. Yeap 7 of them. From 13 to 2 - good times!!
Lance and I took them all to the Halloween party at the park. They luv'd it. We rode the hay-ride, played games, froze our butts off and made it home in time for bed. We got up Sat and made / decorated cup-cakes.
Sat Lance and Rylan left for the Mizzou game. Which apparently was a success. Rylan has a smile plastered across his face. Him and his dad had a great time.
Sat night Pyper went to my sisters to continue her family time with her cousins. Sat night my sister took all the kids to Grants Farm and did the Halloween fair across town.
I went to the Ameristar with 5 other girls and saw the 80's Band at the Bottle Neck Blues Barr. Good times were had by all.

Did anyone else hear this past weekend that we were suppose to fall back? I swear I told Lance on Sunday, to leave me the hell alone - I gained an hour. I KNOW i heard it.
***Well, apparently it is next weekend. Any day now, I could use the extra hour- may then I will actually make it to work on time.

I am only working 1/2 a day on Friday so I can attend Rylan's school party. We will leave school early and go home and get ready for Halloween. Rylan will be a football player and Pyper is going to be a princess.

We have football practice Tues / Thurs of this week. I told Lance if the tempture gets below 60 degrees I am not going. Well, since the high today is 49, that means Pyper and I will not sit out in the cold and freeze our arses off for practice. We will freeze for the games only. *I think that seems fair.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


Well, over the weekend we headed down to the country to see Lance's dad, visit with my family and meet the newest member.

*Drum roll please.................. meet Juno the dog.

Out of blue, Grandpa got a dog. I cannot express how much having this little puppy in his life has lifted his spirits. Grandpa has always wanted a great pyrenees, and on a whim he found one and then bought one.

There were nine puppies to this litter and this dog apparently went right up to Grandpa upon his arrival. Juno, was waiting for Grandpa to come and get him.

Juno will grow up to be a big dog. And they 'think' his mask and spot on his head will go away. *I hope not, I love the mask around his eyes. Here is a photo of an adult great pyrenees. I LUV big dogs!!!

With the new dog in his home, Grandpa has a bit of pep in his step, a glow in his face, and happiness in his voice. I have not seen a glimmer of that happiness since before he lost his beloved wife, Nancy, last November. I am so glad he has company.

*not to mention, Lance was smitten. We agreeed we could get another dog, after the holidays. I am so happy! We will not be getting a great pyrenees, but we will be getting a dog.


Friday, October 17, 2008

Fall 2008

It is Friday, and I am feeling rather rested, comfortable and believe it or not happy.
um. Happy, it seems like a long time since I said that word.
I am going to miss summer.... I luv the sunshine and warmth it provides.
But this year, more than ever, I am looking forward to the fall.
Here are a few good reasons for my recent happiness.....words or not necessary.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Nat'l Holiday day?

Okay folks, really, we celebrate Nat'l Bosses Day?


When did this STUPID day sneak in to our calender?
One more stupid thing for me to consider spending my money on.
By the way, what does one do, when they HATE their boss?
Which, in case you haven't noticed, I do.

Okay, perhaps Hate is a bit strong, but it is right up there in my top 10. And it is not a curse word, so it is the best I can muster.

So, I get an email from a co-worker, asking all of the dept heads if we want to pitch in $11.00 each for a gift card for 'our' boss.
*hear the crickets.....

So, after some careful noodling around in that brain of mine I came up with a plan. Or rather a cheap plan.

I responded to her email and I quote 'sorry, but I have already covered this holiday on my own.'
*ha, ha! That punk is not going to get $11 of my hard earned money. And besides who waits until the day before the proposed holiday, to ask if anyone else wants to chip in? I am clearly irked today.

Here are my ideas:

- a flaming pile of dog poo

- setting fire to his desk and roasting a pig? I figure I could feed him lunch.

- I could stay home, and give him a break from *me* for a day. That could be the best gift, yet.

I decided to go to the Dollar Tree and pick him up a generic card. I refuse to give him a gift, when I think he sucks as a boss. I refuse to attempt to be nice to his face, when we have such a turbulent relationship.

National Boss's DAY - what crap. What a stupid excuse for a holiday.
Next year we are going to celebrate 'national bail-out day' because we need another reason to celebrate *something*.

Okay, I am done with my rant. But I am, for real, just getting a card from the dollar tree. Nothing else, and even that is a stretch for me. It is me playing nice, so throw me a damn bone.

That is all. Just wanted to vent about the holiday that snuck up on me.
In case I forgot to mention it. If you are lucky enough to like your boss, it is TOMORROW.
BTW - today is my dad's b-day, and I forgot until I spoke with my mother. That one would have been important to remember, and is very deserving of $11.00 or more. I will spend my money celebrating with my father - perhaps a cold beer will do. I think for $11.00, I can even buy two.
Lastly, last night we had our first budget meeting. And apparently everyone took their medicine and smoked their crack pipe before the arrived. Everyone was pleasant, agreeable - so unlike them. *Did I mention that one of the representatives brought her knitting needles and yarn.

Ohh, I forgot to mention that.

*Yep, this lady showed up, sat down, pulled out her knitting stuff and continued to knit a scarf during the 2 hour budget session.
I keep thinking these people will never surprise me - I continue to be wrong.
Look at the bright side - it makes for a good conversation.


Tuesday, October 14, 2008


Baahhh, I am CRAZ'd these days. I need a bit of comic relief. It is a bit foul, tasteless, and FREAKn' funny. So enjoy.

Tonight, I begin my budget sessions. I am back at work at 7pm to 9pm. Stuck in a room with 12 other people, all whom will argue over the STUPID stuff. I will hold thy tongue, and go home and drink. (ha!).
This month is better known as hell month in my household. I have 4 budget sessions on top of 2 regular night meetings.
On top of that, tomorrow is suppose to be the BIG talk with my boss. That is top secret, so shhhh - don't tell. I am not even suppose to know, but as usual people cannot keep their mouths shut. Bottom line, if discipline action is not set in place, I will seek outside forces. What the hell, what do I have to lose at this point?
To speak to my unstable state of mind, I laughed so hard I cried last night. Tears, streaming down my face, stomach hurting, deep belly laugh.
All at Pyper, of course.
That damn child, has such an attitude, and last night it was in full gear. I gotta get the kids on video. Is it possible to be a tween at 2 1/2?
Here is what happens:
She finds her father and I on the back porch last night, not that we were hiding from her, we were enjoying the nice weather, talking and Lance was smoking.
There we were minding our own business, when the back door flys open, a tuft of hair flys out first then this little person stands in the door way, cups her hands over her mouth, glares at me and state 'U...(she is now pointing at me) UUUUU,'.
I am startled, I look at her a bit stunned.
Well, apparently I took too long to respond. So she stomps over.
*I mean full stomp, arms pumping, head bobbing, and porch shaking. Stomps over to me, finds an empty bubble bottle and throws it at me.
I continue to be stunned. *perhaps I should have disciplined her, but I was giggling too much. Which was not helped by the fact that when I look at Lance he too is giggling. Actually, he has turned around, and you can see his whole body heaving in an effort to stifle his laugh.
So already defeated in the process, I picked up the empty bubble bottle and flung it back at her. *I know I get points for maturity, and a parent of year award. Just send it in the mail.
Any other random, yeah. Just one more.
My sister got a tattoo on the back of her neck. It is getting mixed reviews.
I personally, think it looks fine. Not for me, but fine. My mother on the other hand called it ghetto. ha! Ghetto, what does my mother know about being ghetto?
Okay, I lied. One last thing. Lance got tickets to Mizzou homecoming. Out of no-where. Him and Rylan are going to Mizzou homecoming. To say that he is STOKED would be putting it lightly. He got them for less than $50.00 as well, that makes mamma happy.

Monday, October 13, 2008


Well, it was a relaxing weekend. I am HAPPY to report. I took the time to unwind, soak up some sun, and spend time with my family.

We had football on Saturday, and we won 28-0. With each passing win the ego's get bigger. I am not sure who's head is bigger my son's or dear ol' hubbys. All I know is that, they both cannot fit thru the door at the same time, because their heads take up too much room.

Saturday afternoon / night we took some much needed down time. We stayed home, took naps, bbq'd and hung out on the back porch until close to 10pm. It was good for our soul and mental attitudes.

We woke up Sunday a bit refreshed. We tackled the inside of our home, and moved to the outside. The house now looks like we actually live here rather than a foreclosure. I mean for REAL, we had weeds growing everywhere, smudges on the windows, and trash lids sitting next to the cans. I must say, when we take the time, we clean up nicely!! Around 3pm, we loaded up and went to the pumpkin patch. The kids had a great time, running thru the corn maze, riding the hay ride, and riding the pony's. Pyper rode the pony and luv'd it. She was waving to everyone like she was a beauty queen, then she would bend down and pat the horse on the neck. I was amazed. This child has no fear, and a fondness for animals that never ceases to amaze me. As usual she was the center of attention.

Rylan picked out the biggest pumpkin he could carry. The rule in our home is ' only pick it out, IF YOU can carry it.' Because mamma' ain't carrying your pumpkin.

From the Pumpkin patch, we continued the family fun with a trip to Fortel's Pizza Den. Yumm. I forgot how much I enjoyed their pizza. It was well worth the trip.

After that, Lance did not want to go home - which surprises me, after dinner he normally wants to lounge in his chair. So instead of going straight home, he drove around, taking any road he happened upon.
This sidetracking lead our son to comment ' dad, what are you doing? You know you are wasting GAS.' I glanced over to Lance and smiled. *that damn kid is too smart.

Lance responds ' Well, I am just checking out a few places we have never been.'

Rylan 'You mean like the suburbans. Why do we keep looking at the suburbans?'

Lance and I look sideways at each other suburbans - what the hell are those?
Then it dawns on us 'do, you mean the suburbs??'
Rylan ' yeah, that is what I said. Not rural, but Suburbans.'
From the mouths of babes.

All the while, Pyper was crashed out in her car seat. The pumpkin patch was good to us.
I have photo's for later this week.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Courage or dumb? Cannot decide....

Last night I was restless, sleepless, and down right amped up over the series of events at work. I tried to sleep, I laid down, closed my eyes - but my mind would not shut off. I could not get the damn thing to calm down, shut down. I kept going over situations, scenarios and possible letters I was going to write.

I had it all planned out on my way into work. I was going to stand my ground, call a meeting with my boss and explain how in appropriate his actions were yesterday. God must have been shining down on me, because prior to making my way to his office, I glanced at my approved job duties and low and behold I don't need his approval or endorsement to issue the budget.
He was totally off base yesterday and I had it in writing.
Not to mention that the mayor put him in his place thru out the day yesterday. This only supported my cause, which is good for me. Not to mention it gave me another level of confidence.
My goal today was to stand up to this man AGAIN. So, I squared my shoulders, dug deep, marched into his office, requested a third party attend, and demanded a meeting. He glanced at me, agreed to the meeting and I began. * I summed all of the courage I thought possible. I seemed to be on auto drive.
I let him know I was well within my right of issuing the document in the manner in which I did. I informed him that my office does not take it lightly when any throws around the word 'fraudulent' information. As he implied yesterday that my office issued fraudulent information. He will need to choose his words more wisely. I am by no means going to continued to be subject to his emotional rants. I continued to let him know that I have spoken with the City Attorney, Pres of the Board and the Mayor.
His tone today changed. He was apologetic, semi defeated and deflated. I informed him that I was not looking for an apology. I will not be met at my car in the parking lot, and escorted to his office, as if I am begin led to the principal to be scolded. I don't mind being wrong, I do make mistakes, I own up to my mistakes - but yesterday was a result of his inability to control his emotions. Case and point, he told the Pres of the Board that he could not wait for me to arrive to work because he was going to 'rip into me'. So I called him on that statement as well.
I was prepared for a fight, instead I got a defeated man. My goal is not to defeat him, just to address his bulling tacts head on.
Was I scared, HELL YEAH. But now that it is over, I am encouraged that I did the right thing. I am feeling better and no longer amped up.
Stress is such a waste of my emotions. such a waste of my time.
I am not sure if it was the right thing to do, but I knew that I could let the situation go with out addressing it. It could be the dumbest thing I have ever date.
I am sure others will follow.
* I am my mother's child, and I have alot of my father in me. Neither one of them would not have taken this abuse. That i can be sure of, I just am not sure if I acted more like my mother or my father. I am re-active like my mother - but I tried REALLY hard to take some time to think about my approach, and to not be too emotional. I 'think' that was more like my father.

Last night, I decided not to go to football practice. It was wet and raining. So, Pyper and I stayed home. We decided to take a bubble bath, together. In my state of mind yesterday, I thought it was a good idea, I needed a calgon moment. Why I thought getting in the bath w/ bubbles and two year old was a good idea - i can only contribute to lack of common sense.
We climbed in and she eyeballed me from the other side. You know the look, the one that says what in the hell are you doing??
I smiled at her, and attempted to let the water surround me. I NEEDED a calgon moment. Throw me a damn bone.
After we finished making eyes at each other, we moved on to body parts. Dear god, child. Okay, not such a good idea. If I had to say one more time, 'this is my body, and this is your body.' 'Yes, those are my boobs, we don't' touch.' one more time I thought I was going to scream.
She would poke and giggle - poke and giggle. Then she decided to splash. Dear god. So I got out, and she started swimming. Thrilled that she now had the tub to herself. As I got out I could hear her singing, 'boobs, boobs. mommy's boobs. these are mine, those are hers'.
*Great, how will I explain that one to the sitter?
Once she got out, we decided to make banana bread out of our rotten banana's. She was thrilled. She pulled her chair over the counter, and away we went. That was the moment I was looking for. Cooking -good idea, bath w/ two year old -BAD IDEA.
Next time I need a calgon moment, I will wait until everyone is asleep.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

small things...

Before i made it to work today my son and I had the following conversation at blockbuster:

Ry - hey, mom.
Me - yeah.
Ry - I know why you MAKE me drop off the movie. (mind you it just goes in the slot).
Me - why?
Ry - Because I am the fastest person in the house. The rest of you would take FOREVER.
Me - *smiling* Yeap, you are right. Thank god we have you to run around for us.

*Apparently, new shoes work wonders, and make you fast.
Do any come with super-powers??

sinking feeling in the bottom of stomach?

I have been absent lately. I have been swamped and stressed.
Ever since 'pulling the trigger' I have been sick with anticipation.
Not to mention that I have a budget to issue this month.

As of today the 'powers that be' still have not addressed the boss issue. I issued packets of information to the Mayor & City Attorney. This packet included several individual accounts, in their own words, of their abuse. By several individuals I mean over 7 of them issued statements. When we only employ 73 full timers that is pretty significant - like 10%.

All weekend, I stressed over this issue. It keeps me up at night, makes me feel like throwing up, and has me walking a bit of a fog.
This morning, I was met at my car by my boss and he escorted me in to his office. *never a good sign when you are met at your car and provided an escort.
He was angry over an item I placed in the 'preliminary budget' to be discussed next week. Actually, angry is an understatement. He apparently told someone that he was going to 'rail' on me. um....fine choice of words.
I sat there, reminding myself to keep my composure, stated my case, and attempted to listen to his. His case does not make any sense, most control freaks do not make sense when they feel they have lost control. I keep reminding my self to be nice, 'play nice', 'say your sorry', nod your head & play the game. I should have won an award.
Because the reality of it is that I wanted to jump across the desk, kick the man in his balls and scratch his eyeballs out.
But no, I apologized for the miscommunication, told I would try to be a better team player. Cited reasons for the misdirection etc. Knowing in the back of my mind that this another tic on this man's ever glowing trail of destruction.
I went to work, took lunch off site - to get away.
The whole time my insides are screaming. My mind is telling me to not take this lying down. But the common sense side is telling me to play the game, and let him fail. Don't let him take me down too. And within 2 hours he circulated an email to all of the powers that be letting them know he was disappointed in a few items I issued in the budget.
His email was counteracted with words of support for my office, and questions began to arise regarding his management style. This is the beginning. This is why I must remain calm, cool and collected. Because he will self-destruct, if I just let him.
*because my budget was correct, the items were suppose to be in there. Actually, they were expected to be in there - so why would he 'demand' that i take them out. All questions that he must now answer.
In the mean time I will be subject to his attempted rants. However today, as he attempted to get louder, I simply stated 'Don't you dare raise you voice at me.'
He glared at me - I glared back.
His tone remained strong, but not too loud.
He knows I am serious, just how serious remains to be seen.

I am giving the Mayor & City Attorney a few days to review the packet of documentation. But if they do not act soon then other actions will be sought from the outside.
So NO, the shit has not hit the fan. But in the mean time, he continues to be an idiot, and continues to show people that he cannot manage. I can only hope that will won't last too much longer..........

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Leap of Faith.

There are alot of circumstances circling in my head, that I fail to share. But all of them weigh heavily on me, and effect the manner in which I function.

For a long time I have been allowing you to peer into my relationship with my ars*hole boss, well I have taken the steps necessary to bring formal action against him. This decision was not taken lightly, and now that i have opened the flood gates I must walk in, grab the life raft and hope that it does not get a hole and sink.

Two days ago I met with the new Mayor off site to disclose the degree of anger, erratic behavior, extreme emotions that my boss displays. My boss for the most part has avoided me, mainly because I fought back. I got back in his face, I ignored him, I walked away from him, and I told him I would sue him. But on the flip side, he turned his anger and terrible management style on other employees.

It is my job as a manager to protect those employees as well. As side from my own personal experiences with this man, I have counted at least 10 other people, who have been subject to this man and is tactics. These people are CRYING out for help. They are stopping aldermen in the grocery stores to tell them their stories, they are finding aldermen while they are on their daily walks to explain the extreme angry they have been subject to. They are crying at the coffee pot, speaking to the Chief of Police. They are even telling the City Attorney, personally. So tell me, why is NO ONE doing anything?? I have had more than enough.

One of the aldermen told me that the staff person 'asked me not to tell.'

What a bullsh*t response. These employees said please don't tell, of course they did. They are in fear of losing their job, or being punished.
*But on the flip side, the sought you out. They told you their story of mistreatment, they are desperate for a change and you think because they 'asked' you not to tell that you don't have an obligation to protect them. Hey, idiot, YOU HAVE AN OBLIGATION!

I am beyond done. And I am going to push them to make a change.

This pushing could cost me my job, no one likes to be challenged. But then again, we cannot allow this man to be responsible for 75 full time employees and treat people in the manner in which he does. There are laws and organizations that protect us, if you fail too.

I went to the Mayor in an effort to 'follow' the chain of command. To allow the process the opportunity to address the issue first. I don't have much faith in the process, I have seen it fall apart before. I have seen the powers to be sweep it under the rug, turn a blind eye, or claim ignorance. NO MORE. It is time to address the issue. I have the EEOC and Labor Dept on speed dial. I have shared my own personal discrimination with an off-site attorney.

My breaking point, is that it is no longer about me. Aside from that it is getting worse. His anger and aggression is getting worse. I cannot live with myself if I don't protect the hourly employees, if I don't push the board to protect the employees. I just wonder how they can live with themselves, because I believe they would continue to let it happen, because it is easier than addressing the situation. Shame on them.

This leap of faith may cost me my job.
*What is new.
I know I have said that before, and it sucks that in my two years at this work place I am constantly worrying about whether or not I will lose my job. I just cannot understand how in today's society they are able to tolerate such a Hitler style of management. Such an abusive style of management.

Don't get me wrong, I can tolerate 'bad days', yelling, disagreements...this is way beyond that. And I think majority of us fear that this man will snap in the near future. What then?

I am not out to be a trend setter, to make an example. But I do have to live with myself, and attempt to protect myself. I just have been given the task of trying to protect the entire workforce as well. What a large load to carry.

I am not sure if I feel better or worse for getting the wheels rolling. The pit in the bottom of my stomach feels larger today, the lump in my throat has moved up. Sleepless nights and gray hair are sneaking up on me. I will never tell the people that I am trying to protect how much I am going out on a limb for them, I just hope that we will all get some relief. I just hope that I don't make matters worse.

Keeping my fingers crossed that it is time for Karma to give this man a good swift kick in the behind.


Nieces & Nephews and Kids...