Tuesday, October 7, 2008

sinking feeling in the bottom of stomach?

I have been absent lately. I have been swamped and stressed.
Ever since 'pulling the trigger' I have been sick with anticipation.
Not to mention that I have a budget to issue this month.

As of today the 'powers that be' still have not addressed the boss issue. I issued packets of information to the Mayor & City Attorney. This packet included several individual accounts, in their own words, of their abuse. By several individuals I mean over 7 of them issued statements. When we only employ 73 full timers that is pretty significant - like 10%.

All weekend, I stressed over this issue. It keeps me up at night, makes me feel like throwing up, and has me walking a bit of a fog.
This morning, I was met at my car by my boss and he escorted me in to his office. *never a good sign when you are met at your car and provided an escort.
He was angry over an item I placed in the 'preliminary budget' to be discussed next week. Actually, angry is an understatement. He apparently told someone that he was going to 'rail' on me. um....fine choice of words.
I sat there, reminding myself to keep my composure, stated my case, and attempted to listen to his. His case does not make any sense, most control freaks do not make sense when they feel they have lost control. I keep reminding my self to be nice, 'play nice', 'say your sorry', nod your head & play the game. I should have won an award.
Because the reality of it is that I wanted to jump across the desk, kick the man in his balls and scratch his eyeballs out.
But no, I apologized for the miscommunication, told I would try to be a better team player. Cited reasons for the misdirection etc. Knowing in the back of my mind that this another tic on this man's ever glowing trail of destruction.
I went to work, took lunch off site - to get away.
The whole time my insides are screaming. My mind is telling me to not take this lying down. But the common sense side is telling me to play the game, and let him fail. Don't let him take me down too. And within 2 hours he circulated an email to all of the powers that be letting them know he was disappointed in a few items I issued in the budget.
His email was counteracted with words of support for my office, and questions began to arise regarding his management style. This is the beginning. This is why I must remain calm, cool and collected. Because he will self-destruct, if I just let him.
*because my budget was correct, the items were suppose to be in there. Actually, they were expected to be in there - so why would he 'demand' that i take them out. All questions that he must now answer.
In the mean time I will be subject to his attempted rants. However today, as he attempted to get louder, I simply stated 'Don't you dare raise you voice at me.'
He glared at me - I glared back.
His tone remained strong, but not too loud.
He knows I am serious, just how serious remains to be seen.

I am giving the Mayor & City Attorney a few days to review the packet of documentation. But if they do not act soon then other actions will be sought from the outside.
So NO, the shit has not hit the fan. But in the mean time, he continues to be an idiot, and continues to show people that he cannot manage. I can only hope that will won't last too much longer..........


Jennifer said...

I commend your actions. I think you are doing the right thing and hope all works out in the in. It is hard to work for an individual like that. I wonder what he is like at home, if he is like that at work.

Farrell said...

Nothing worse than working for somebody like that.
Stay strong - you are doing great and have the right idea: he WILL self-destruct. Play the game until he does, as hard as it is.


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