Monday, November 30, 2009

Holiday run...

We are sprinting to the finish line for 2009 and I cannot wait for it to be over.
It has had its bright spots but for the most part I am ready to ring in the new year and hopefully a few new happier moments.

2009 seemed to be a year of loss for us, which seems weird - it seems like every other phone call or knock at the door was another dose of bad news. I asked Lance the other day, when I found out that my second cousin had died in a vehicle accident in Texas, if death had always surrounded us and we never knew it or has it really been a bad year? He agreed, it has really been a bad year. The individuals that we lost this year were not old, actually not a one of them died of old age - nor were they expected. The series of events have kept us humble and perhaps given us some much needed perspective during this holiday time.

To say that this holiday season will be tough will be an understatement. We are living pay-check to paycheck and sometimes not even making it then. Lance has been a stay at home dad for the better part of the year, and as much as it brings him joy to see our kids and be available it has been hard on him. His ego has burst a bit and our ability to get things accomplished has diminished. We did not take a family trip this year, we could not afford to; which is fine. However our family trip consist of visiting HIS family in Texas. His mother is in her 80's and it is important to us to create memories for them and us. A few months ago we got a phone call that his mother was in ICU, the guilt swept thru like a freight train. The one year we could not make it, could have been the year we lost her. Luckily she had a lung infection and has pulled thru, he would have been crushed to have lost her and not gotten to see her.
But at the same time we cannot jeopardize our ability to keep our heads above water, so the decision not to go to Texas this year or anywhere else for that matter was a must. Welcome to turning into adults, because honestly for a brief moment I was ready to whip out the ol'credit card.
Thanksgiving was a complete blurr.....
We ran to the country Wed night, had Thanksgiving on Thursday, got up early Friday to head to football. Had a game Friday afternoon, which we lost (actually we got smoked!) - this meant we had to play on Saturday. We won our 12:30 game on Saturday which meant we had to play again at 7pm Saturday night. This is the point where I wanted to blow my face off. The games were held an hour away, so we did not go home between Friday and Sat night. Our car was packed to the max with our suite cases from our Wed night track in the night to the country. Plus traveling with a 3 yr old can be tricky - it is even more intense when it is Pyper. Why, well - she is Pyper. On top of it all she was complaining that her pee-pee hurt. I treated it with A&D hoping it was external. Nope, it turned out to be a urinary-tract infection. OMG.
So as Lance smoked two packs of cigs, and walked up and down the football field as if we were going to win a damn gold medal, I went to the bathroom 40,000 times with a child who would wince in pain every time. Luckily the day was perfect, beautiful -therefore being outside was good for our soul. That was until we were still there as the sun went down and the temperature dropped. Needless to say we were still on the football field at 9pm. The boys played their hearts out, the games were close and good. Which is weird to say, for gosh sakes it was only pee-wee football. But if their football drive carried these boys into adult hood, they could aspire to do great things. I am beyond proud of Rylan he showed so much heart, strenght and drive. But best of all he enjoyed it - much to his crack-head fathers delight.
As we pulled into the drive at 10pm Sat night we were beat. Rylan smelled like a gym locker and Pyper looked like a damn rugrat. They crawled into bed as is...too tired to even change. As I changed Pyper she moaned in her sleep, upset that I was even touching her and disrupting her moment of sleep. It took all I had to get Rylan to take his cup out of his pants.
Once I had them tucked into their beds, I changed my clothes and went out. Yes - folks on top of the thanksgiving hustle-bustle and football I went to the damn barr. No I am not a barr fly, it was my sisters birthday. As I arrive at 11pm smelling like popcorn and ball sweat, I of course am late to the party. The girls by 11pm are rowdy and I have 2 hours to attempt to catch up. By 1am I am SO ready to go home, so ready to sleep in my bed. As I get home and grab a quick shower I thank god I am home and that everyone is asleep in my house. I have high expectations of sleeping in and staying in my pj's all day Sunday.
I would like to say that was the end of our adventure, but then it would not be my house if things were that easy. Pyper woke up - her infection got worse. Up early to take her to the doc in the box, well they sent us to Urgent Care. Yes, finally a damn prescription to treat her UTI - whew. This morning she was a bit better - after three doses of an antibiotic.
Rylan spent Sunday in his pj's playing the Wii, eating and just relaxing. He needed a break.
By 8pm last night everyone was asleep in my house.
By 3am I hear Rylan's feet hit the floor and him whining. I rush to the bathroom to find him bent over the toilet. I am cursing in my head *damn, damn, damn*.
His sad eyes are pleading with me to help him, he feels like puking. I feel his head, no fever - I think I am in the clear. I send him to bed with a cold rage, only to hear him 10 minutes later.
By the time I make it to him he is puking his guts up. No, no, no!!!!
I fear we may have the flu. So now we have a UTI and puking. I begin to wonder if we got the flu from the someone at football - do you know how many hands he had to slap in an effort to say good game?
I do no do black friday, nor do I do cyber monday.
So I have not bought one x-mas present, we do not have our lights or tree up and Lance is at home w/ two kids. As we spoke this moring, we agreed that it is just a matter of time before Pyper gets and with that we kissed each other as if to acknowledge 'here we go'.

Friday, November 20, 2009

A little GOOD

Okay so as I bitch and moan thru 2009 I dug deep to find a little good....good that I thought I would share.

Work - thinks are getting better. I am getting my arms around it more and more each day, and starting to feel like someone who deserves to her paycheck, rather than feeling like a complete moron. That folks is a good feeling, as each day passes I dive deeper and deeper into the 'ins' and out's' of this place. And although it has its dark moments it is by far a better place than my last job. The people are just as nice, the politics still suck, but by far a better place. I am getting grounded and starting to feel like I get it and I belong. Whew - just shy of 6mths in the making. I am thankful to have a job in this market and the recession. I know alot of Finance people are struggling to get work or keep their jobs, I feel pretty secure that my job will be available regardless of the market. The pay is not top notch but the benefits are great, the flexibility is great and the pay is guaranteed - I will take it!

Lance - well I know I don't always have the best things to say about him. It happens, all in all he is a good guy and a jerk all wrapped up in one. Just the way I like my guy! So today after 10 years of being a non-driver he got his license. HELLO folks that is HUGE in my house. He was a drinker/driver and prior to even getting w/ me he had his license revoked for 10 yrs. He had a hardship so he could drive to work, doctors ect. But insurance has been high for us, including the breath thingy in his truck that has to be monitored by the DOR every month for a fee of close to $100. Too say that a huge stress has been lifted would be an understatement - not having a license has limited us in MANY ways. And today, with little to now hoops to jump thru it happened he took his test, got his photo taken and is now legal. OMG! OMG!
If I wasn't mad at him for being, well him - I would jump his bones and kiss his gooey insides.
That folks makes for a great Friday and a good November.
I hope you all get a little ray of sunshine in your day as well.

Monday, November 16, 2009

This year.

I keep trying to remind myself to count my blessings this year, to take it all in and remember the good.
This year has been a REALLY, REALLY tough one, and it seems like it gets worse with each phone call or knock at the door. Last week we had to attend the funeral for our 20 year old football coach. This event rocked us to the core. My son is sad beyond words and my husband even put a suit on. We had only know Kyle and his family for a brief time, but it felt like a lifetime. We spent a lot of time together over the past few months. The loss of Kyle has left us with a lot of sorrow. Lance and I continue to remain close to his father, step-mom and brother - all a constant reminder of what a great guy Kyle was. We spent last week getting food together, going to the viewing, going to the funeral ect. All of these events came with their own level of emotions, and helped to place some items in prospective.

Last night we get the news that our babysitters brother was in a car accident and is in the trauma/icu at a local hospital and is refusing treatment. Our sitter is sad beyond belief. Her brother Chad is a main stay at her home as he attempts to complete a messy divorce. My children refer to him as U. Chad. We we were not super close, but close none the less and once again our hearts ache. Chad continues to refuse treatment and signed a DNR, at 31 yrs of age he signed a DNR. I just got a call that he has a fever now and won't let the doctors review and attempt to fix his spline which they think is torn. By not fixing a torn spline the toxins could seep into his body and could kill him. At this point he has left strict instructions that the doctors are not to reset his collar bone nor are they perform surgery. His only sister is on the verge of losing her brother right before her eyes. Painful does not begin to describe the sound of her voice, her heart is broken. And with each passing hour that he refuses treatment the worse the situation becomes.

As a sister my heart hurts, and this encourages me to reflect on my situation with my siblings.
I luv them dearly and just hope when it really matters that they know. The same with my husband and kids, I hope when it really matters - they know.

Both families could use warm wishes and prayers. Praying for strenght, wisdom and healing.

Halloween 2009

2009 Halloween was a success at our home. Rylan decided to be a football player for the 2nd year in a row.
Pyper decided to be princess with football player make up.
Because once she saw her brother with the make-up out she HAD to have some too.
Pyper had been telling us and everyone she met that she was going to be Snow White, which was fine - we have two dress up Snow White outfits. As you can tell, she did not end up being Snow White, she decided to be her version of 'Bell' (from Beauty & The Beast). Well, more like Bell the football player.
This was the first year that Pyper really 'got it'. She carved her own pumpkin, she dug out all the goo and luv'd the finished product.
At the same token, Rylan seemed rather bored with the process. Half way thru his arm got tired, his eyes hurt - blah, blah, blah.
This was the first year, we did not stay home in our subdivision. The kids got more crap and candy than they will ever eat, none the less.


Nieces & Nephews and Kids...