If you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything.

nine years ago today, I went thru my morning as if it was just another day. I remember attending class, it was a Saturday class and I had a final. Lance and I were living in an apt in Webster Groves, and by the time I had made it home he was gone. Growing up, I never wanted to be a princess, or get married and have a big wedding w/ all that stuff. I never really thought about the white picket fence, or if I did - I imagined the fence on fire. (ha!). I just was not that girl. I never really pictured myself with children, actually the thought of having a child terrified me. I could barely wipe my own a*s, how was I going to really take care of anyone else?? So the thought of having an actual wedding day left me a bit perplexed. It left me not really sure what to do with myself. I was determined to take a bath, relax and enjoy being alone. I was going to enjoy being Michelle Bates for one last moment. I didn't have any real second thoughts about becoming Mrs. DePew later

My 8 yr old has an email account... My 8 yr old has decided he wants long hair (like Jeff Hardy - the wrestler). This has me wondering who is really running things - apparently not me :). I review his email, see who and what is going on. You like a concerned, engaged parent should do. But I must admit - I find it odd. He was even IM'ing the other night w/ the neighbor girl. So as he sits in his boxers typing with his little 8 yr old fingers, I envision him being 15. Not wanting me to look over his shoulder, not wanting to share his emails with me. I am a bit horrified, so I soak up these moments when he thinks I am okay to see HIS stuff. BTW - he keeps asking for a damn phone. Why? Who in the hell is he going to call. I am adamant about not getting him a phone. Well, that was until Lance took him to the Savis center last month and left Rylan and another kid in their seats while he went to smoke. While Lance was gone some drunk guy sat next to him and started eating hi

So folks do me a favor, and don't read this blog if you find it to be full of drama, exaggerations or anything in between. If you find it not be to YOUR specifications than I recommend the following: 1) start your own - you may find it therapeutic 2) get a life, and realize I use this avenue for ME - I believe I have said that a time or two. 3) don't come by - don't swing by, don't read the nonsense 4) or comment when something really does not sit well *unless of course it is easier to grip about it but not let me know.* I am very tired these days, in case you haven't noticed. I am tried of the nonsense, tired of the crap. If you have something to say to me, then do me a favor and let me know. Write me, call me or come by. If you think I am crap, say so. If you were mad a month ago, then let me know a month ago - not today. I have used this avenue to vent, but it has been so much more than that for me. I have written to my kids, put my fears out there, and even made

Sometimes being a sister is tough. Sometimes it is hard to stand on the sidelines and keep ones mouth shut. Sometimes you want to be so hopeful. Sometimes you break and say harsh things. Sometimes you place a wedge between each other you dont ' know how to remove. Sometimes you don't recognize the person you are looking at. Sometimes your heart breaks. Sometimes you cry. Sometimes you miss the person standing right next to you. Sometimes you just have to wait for time to heal. Sometimes you pray a little harder Sometimes I just don't understand. Sometimes I fail at not being judgemental Sometimes I fail....... Sometime loving a person is not enough. Sometimes there are just no words.

The things kids say: So the other night, Rylan was asking for money to buy a DSI . I looked at him and said 'you got any money?' He looked shocked and replied ' no.' I replied 'well, it looks like you will have to wait until you get a job. You still owe us for the DS we just bought from A. Misty last month.' * mind you in order to pay off the DS , he agreed to empty the bathroom trash can, put his clothes away, and take the big trash out to the can. He is 8 - so these chores are appropriate in my mind*. With a total serious face he looked at me and said ' you mean I have to wait until I am 27 before I can buy anything.' I laughed out loud ' you mean you are not going to get a job until you are 27?' Him ' well, yeah.' Me 'um, you have another thing coming. You had better have a job and move out by 27. ' Rylan ' well, 27 is when I am suppose to be really grown up.' Me : laughing out loud. Thinking to myself - this kid

Okay, did anyone esle get this----? Hi Michelle – I just wanted to follow up re: this Buy Local St. Louis initiative I sent you an email about last week. As I mentioned, shopping locally can have an enduring economic impact, which is why Contribute 2009 challenges individuals to spend $50 at a local small business on or around Oct. 12. I’m hoping you’ll be able to share the message of Contribute with your “Working Mother of Two” readers, perhaps by suggesting they spend $50 at a locally owned St. Louis business. For more info about Contribute, check out this CNBC story and contact me at 216.298.4676 or via email, mkoski@edwardhoward.com . To take the pledge to spend $50 locally, visit www.scentsycontribute.org . Thanks- Melissa MELISSA KOSKI mkoski@edwardhoward.com OFFICE 216.781.2400DIRECT 216.298.4676

I received this today - so I thought I would pass it on. As a side-barr - we always try to shop locally. We luv the local (Soulard) farmer mkt, our fav pharmacy is the local mom and pop shop at the top of our hill. Both of my parents own a business, I understand and respect the purpose and drive to shop and use local services. Good luck and enjoy. * I will try to post tomorrow- so much to say, so little time in the day* Hi Michelle – I just wanted to follow up re: this Buy Local St. Louis initiative I sent you an email about last week. As I mentioned, shopping locally can have an enduring economic impact, which is why Contribute 2009 challenges individuals to spend $50 at a local small business on or around Oct. 12. I’m hoping you’ll be able to share the message of Contribute with your “Working Mother of Two” readers, perhaps by suggesting they spend $50 at a locally owned St. Louis business. For more info about Contribute, check out this CNBC story and contact me at 216.298.4676 or