Friday, August 31, 2007

What? Is anyone sane?

Things have been so weird I am not sure where to start.
As you know I have been planning a trip to Arkansas this weekend - actually today, which turned into tonight. That is right, as of this moment I was suppose to be 1/2 way to Arkansas, instead I am at work. Why, because plans change (and people are crazy!).
My mother is SICK - I mean super sick. She has been sick all week. We (me and my two kids) were suppose to ride with her and my father in their mini-van. As of yesterday, I decided not to ride with them, because my mother is sick.
Why would I place my kids inside of a mini-van for 6 hours (one way) with women who is sick? I wouldn't, so I am not.
So, what to I have lost my ride.
I decide I will drive myself and my two kids (alone). DH has baseball tickets and is not coming. The thought of this is daunting. I would rather gauge my eyeballs out then attempt this.

But in the spirit of family - family going ( my sister, her husband and their 4 kids, my mother , my father and my niece, my cousin, his wife and their son, and me, my 2 kids). I think we are taking 1/2 of STL with us.
So in the spirit of family -once again, because we are going to see my brother, his wife and their 2 kids and his new home. In total there will be 18 of us. The gods must be CRAZY, when they thought this was a good idea.
Perhaps it is karma - as a side note, I have secretly prayed for something to happen so I could back out. Instead, god decided I need to perform this trip by myself. A good swift kick of Karma. Note to self - careful what you wish for!

I have tried to talk my mother out of going on this trip all together. Besides if she stayed home, I could in theory ride with my dad and my niece - problem solved. Two drivers and three kids. But no, my SICK mother will hear nothing of staying home.
She would rather make the trip, be miserable and INFECT all of us. The other 17 people should be furious! I have asked my brother to call her (tell her to stay home), I have asked my sister to call her (tell her to stay home). Alias, she will hear no more. They left an hour ago.

I am not even on the road and I am miserable. How can that be??
I see the writing on the wall..........
This weekend is going to suck. My holiday weekend and I am putting myself in a position for it to suck. Why?
In the spirit of family. My left side says ' it will be fine, your kids will remember this forever'.
My right side says ' screw it, don't go ask them to send you a post-card and just take your kids to the park'.
And as an FYI if (when)my kids end up SICK - I am going to send them to my mothers house.
If you see me on the news from Arkansas the head line will read - 'daughter goes postal on mother over trip to Arkansas'.

God give me grace, wisdom and a new mind-set. Wish me luck, I will need all of the help I can get.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007


I wake Rylan up to get ready for school....he lays sleepy eyed in his bed and says 'Mom, is today Thursday?' He has a smirk, so I know he is playing around. I respond 'Yes'. He smiles and bellows 'No, you don't your days of the week.' ha! He is in first grade and loves to think he is smarter than all of us.
Me - 'why?'
Rylan - 'because, I want to know when it is Friday. Because I don't have to go to school. You know, because we are going to Arkansas to see U. Matt. When does our plan leave.'
Me - ha!! Plan. What makes you think we are riding a plan?
Rylan - we always ride in a plane. Like when we go to Texas.
Me -Oh. Well, no plan for this trip, we are driving. We are riding with Nana, Pa, and Courtney.
Rylan - YEAH! How may hours is this trip?
Me - too long. about 6 or so hours.
Rylan - Yeah!!
Me - get out of is Wednesday and we still have two more days to go before we pack up to head to Arkansas.
Rylan - begins to sing as he gets out of bed 'Arkansas, I am going to Arkansas'. As he sings Pyper wiggles her waddle dance. Clapping and spinning in sheer joy, because her brother is singing and clearly happy about something. Who knew Arkansas was so exciting. I sure wish I was a kid again.

A brief smile crosses my face. It is brief, because the reality is this trip is going to SUCK.
Pyper is a terrible traveler. I begin to pray silently - God, give me grace (or drugs) ha!.

Did I mention that DH (Lance) is not going on this trip. Why, because he has baseball tickets. Like I care! I have been trying to guilt him into going. He will have nothing of it. He seems pretty pleased with himself, a full 3 days (the weekend none the less) by himself. I am sure it will be filled with friends and beer. I am JEALOUS.

I am mentally making a LONG list of things for him to accomplish in our absence. I am trying to keep him as busy as possible. I am sure it will be futile, but it is worth a shot. My list will include items such as fix the dryer, pressure wash the deck, put the trim up in our basement etc. His list will include - beer, friends, baseball and hot dogs. (silently I hope he chokes on his dinner). With love from AR.

If you see me on the news - don't be surprised. It might read something like this ' St. Louis women jumps from a moving mini-van.'


Monday, August 27, 2007

Doctors - I may need one.

Monday, ugh. In case you don't know. I HATE Mondays.

Friday we spent 5 hours at Children's Hospital - it was Rylan's annual review. We saw the plastic surgeon, speech therapist, psychologist, ENT, pediatric dentist and the nurse. In our infant wisdom (stupidy) we decided to bring our 18 mth old daughter along for this 5 hour ordeal. Reminder - next time leave the other child at the sitters house.

The dentist is 'amazed' at how quickly Rylan has lost and received his 'big boy' teeth. This statement perks my interest. What exactly does this mean, I ask.

Well, it means now we can be ortho treatment. I my mind i hear 'cha-ching$, ching $. We need to schedule an appointment with another doctor so we can be in placing extenders in his mouth to prepare him for his bone graph. UGH.

Fine, I take notes, while Lance wrestles with Pyper in the corner.
Doctor # 2 - plastics. We discuss the surgery what it entails. I am sure I turned green - I felt sick. But I kept smiling, asking questions and make sure Rylan did not understand exactly what was being discussed. As he colored the doctor asked 'Are kids making fun of him?'

I reply -'no'

Doctor - 'just be prepared, they will'.

I reply - what??? Rylan knows he is cleft and everyone else knows too. We treat his clefting in the same manner we talk about his green eyes. (we don't know where they came from - i have blue / lance has brown).

I then proceed to inform the doctor that ' Rylan will cross that bridge when he gets to it. Right now he is more upset when his school-mates won't pick him for tag.'

Doctor #3 - Speech. Now repeat after me - Lizzy the lizard is lazy. Sam sipps soda. blah,blah.

We already get speech in the school district. Thanks!

Doctor #4 - Psychology. By this time, my kids are stirr-crazy. Small room, nothing to do (even though I packed color books, Nintendo etc). The Psychologist wants to know if Rylan is 'happy', I respond 'for the most part'. Mind you by now Rylan has resorted to hanging over the chair with his butt in the air. The Psychologist then questions - 'has he been tested for ADHD?' I laugh - 'No'. The Psychologist ' does he have a short attention span?' (by this time Rylan is pounding his check like an ape - for no apparent reason and Pyper is screaming and banging her head on the wall because we told her no!). I look at the guy ' you know, these children have been in here for 4 hours and seen multiple doctors. You will have take all of this into consideration. My son is not ADHD, he is a boy, he needs to go RUN around. My daughter is a drama queen, who hates to be told No. And they are both reaching their max. So please can you give me the questionnaire, I believe you are the last person we are seeing today.'

The doctor then asked Rylan' Rylan, how old are you?'

Rylan '6 (six)'

Doctor - 'How old is your sister?

Rylan - one (1), and my mom is 31 and my dad is 34.

Doctor - smiling

Me - Great! Thanks ....

Did I mention that was just the start of my weekend.

After the hospital, we went to the title company to complete our re-finance. My children once again were cooped up in a small office and acting like monsters.

Rylan swirling around in the executive chair, Pyper digging in the trash cans and playing with the phone.

Yes, I am CRAZY.

Then at 4pm, my sister meets us at the title company with her 4 kids and a min-van. Why....

Because I am CRAZY.

At 4:10 I loaded up my 2 kids, her 4 kids our luggage and my husband as we went to the country. Another hour and a half on the road. My kids still have yet to get outside and play. There is not enough wine in the world to cure this day.....but a drink sure would be nice.

In the car the kids are 8, 6, 6, 3, 2, 1 - all together now CRAZY!

Our car trip starts out with farting and all windows down - Gross!

We make it to my mothers by 6pm. Alias, my kids get out and run. They run around until they about fall over. My parents live on 80 acres so my children are safe outside - no traffic etc.

Over the weekend, one of the kids find my jewelry ( which I left out) - and now my wedding ring is missing. Topper to my weekend from hell.

I offered 10 bucks to any child that finds it first. We still cannot find it. So, god, if you can hear me....I am sure the ring is in a little space just sitting there waiting to be found. Please return it. I miss it.


Friday, August 17, 2007

Going, going - GONE

The title - that is how I feel these days.
I have been going, going and now I am spent.
Rylan started school Thursday. Ahh, his first day of First grade. How exciting. He woke up, later than usual, because I let him sleep in. He states ' am I late?' No 'I let you sleep in, because I am going to take you to the bus stop today.'
And with that our day began...........
Rylan ate a breakfast of champions - 1 egg, cereal and a Yahoo!. Pyper ate her usual yogurt and an egg. Then walked around with half a banana. Then we moved on to getting dressed. We laid our clothes out last night, so this was a no brainer. Cardnials shirt, new shorts, new shoes, new underwear. Blast, I did not lay out the socks. (note to self - next time put out the socks too!!). Rylan get dressed and comes into the room where I am putting on my make-up and I half gasp --- Mohawk hair spiked, red cardinals shirt, camo shorts, white shoes and blue socks with Stitch on them. BLUE socks. I asked ' where are your new white socks?' Answer ' I don't know, I am wearing Stitch....... So, I think to myself - do i fight this fight or just leave it alone. Aw, just leave it alone. Who cares if he looks like a clown on his first day of school - he is going with a Mohawk, the teachers prob think the socks are the least of my worries.
So off we go - up the street to wait for the bus.
There is mass confusion with the buses. This year they changed the number of buses coming into the neighborhood and the bus route. GREAT! Bus #24 - that is our bus. I stand at the stop meet the driver and let her know Rylan will be on the bus and get off the bus at this stop. I point at Rylan and say to the driver - remember the hair (MoHawk), on and off right here!! She smiles and nods as if she understands. I tell her thank you then grab Rylans hand and inform him I will now drive him to school. He looks confused - why he asked. Because it is the first day of school. I will drive you and help you deliver the items for your classroom.
Off we go. We tell Pyper bye, and head to school. We pull up to the drop off zone. I get out walk around and ask for a kiss - this is met with an immediate 'NO!'. Half broken-hearted I ask for a hugg....he gives in, but it has to be a small quick one. One quick hugg and off he goes.
there goes Rylan to take on the world. Bright eyes, anxious about starting school meeting his new teacher and new friends. He holds his head high, square shoulders, new book bag, new shoes, and then the double doors close. I am offically a mom to a first grader. I get in my car and begin to drive and cry. Thank you to the village (husband, sitter, friends, family etc) that have helped me raise this child.
He came home and chatted none stop about his first day of school....success!

Yesterday was a really hard work day for me. I have been fighting with my boss for a week now and yesterday it all came to a head. I stood up to him and now I am feeling better. I am hoping to start sleeping better at night, now that I am not playing over in my mind all of the 'what if' situations. If my kids know the whole story they would be proud. This man is a worm and liar....yesterday was another clear indication of that. Check, Mate - bring it on.
Today, I woke up relieved that the weekend is almost here and I can breath again.
This week is going, going, and almost GONE!
We will chalk it up to a good week, but a stressful one.
laugh hard and live well.


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