Wednesday, December 31, 2008
For gosh-sakes people we only had one more day left until we ended this damn year called 2008, a year when I didn't think much more could happen.
Well, as usual I was wrong.
Hello, earth to Michelle - maybe you are not as flexible as you think you are. *You know you can no longer do a back bend or bring your toes to your nose.
An open mind, yeap that is what 2009 is going to require, flexibility, changes, hopefully income.
So I have kept everyone waiting long enough here is the scoop.
My husband quit his job yesterday. Oh, yeah - not fired: QUIT.
Stop take a second, grab right hand and pull mouth up off floor.
Stop the uncontrollable laughter that is ringing in my ears and be serious for one moment.
As in NO WORK, no JOB, and no GAME PLAN.
Oh, I see now - you have lost your 'effing mind!
Good times people, I am thrilled.....
Two days ago we were talking and he was telling me he was swamped at work, and had steady work until at least April or May. Hey, that is good news (right!). Two days ago I was beginning to feel like to recession would not hurt us too much. We are already cutting back. Full weeks of work for a man in construction / electrician is a good deal -esp these days.
Then two days later he walks into his office an quits. Well, actually - they call him and the other guys into the office. They are informing my husband and the crew that their boss was fired earlier that day.
So, since his boss was fired, Lance told them he would not work for anyone else.
*noble - yes. good move? um...remains to be seen.
Lance being the stand up worker that he is, actually went into work today to finish a job he was working on. He didn't want to leave it hanging or unfinished. He went by the office this morning to make sure it was okay. The president and VP were not in, so the number 3 guy gave him his phone back and let him finish out the day.
They were not going to fire him or anyone else.
But, no else there knows the communication side, which is the side Lance works on.
But what now?? No game plan, no back up job, just being noble.
Ahh, my night in shining armor - who has spent 2008 making us laugh, gasp, and now shocked.
We laughed when he called my boss a 'cocksucker', we gasped when he gave out his social and credit card over the phone, and now one day before the end of this 'effing year we are shocked.
For the life of me, I just didn't think he had it in him.
Well, take my hand honey - we will walk down this yellow brick road together. frick & frack; yin & yang; employed & unemployed, broke & bankrupt
Have an extra drink of champagne for me. --
Happy New Years, glad I could spend 2008 sharing my life with you.
Hugs all around. Cheers!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
My family got together, my kids were great and Lance's dad came out to my mothers with us. My mother had close to 37 people in her house this weekend, it was SO nice to have everyone so close. We ate, drank, laughed and shared another holiday together.
Santa arrived at my mothers house around 7pm. All of the kids were SO excited, Pyper would not leave the guy alone, she was enamored by Santa.
Rylan on the other hand, walked up to me, pulled me down to his level and whispers in my ear 'mamma, I know that is my papa.'
I look shocked, then a big grin comes across my face and I respond ' then tell me why papa is standing behind me with a camera.'
Rylan's face was so surprised, he looked at my dad, back to santa - in a state of shock. um.
Maybe santa really does exist. *At least for this year.
This year my brother, sister and myself actually got to spend some time together. It was nice. I don't just mean staying for an hour or two, trying to keep up with our kids and being distracted. We spent most of Friday together at my mom/dad's house. We spent hours talking on the porch while the kids played. We re-lived our childhood, told stories of parties, sneaking out, etc. We had to laugh when my mother appeared so shocked by all of us. How quickly she forgets.
Friday night my mother kept all 9 kids, while the three of us went out together. We had plans on being home early , and just going for a few hours. Well that turned out to be all night. We went to two local bars, and by the second bar we were the life of the party. At the second bar my sister ended up trading shirts with one of the local guys (luckily she had on two shirts), the boys played darts, and some guy asked my sister to dance. Here is what he said to her ' hey, come on and let's dance. Go make your daddy proud.' ha!!
Everyone in the place either knows us, or they our parents.......only in our home down would someone say that. That night I laughed so hard I cried, we played a prank on Lance, and I made some girl at the bar jump so high she about peed' her pants.
I got Lance a GPS for Christmas, and he was stoked. He put the damn thing in my car, while we were in our small town. When we pulled up the second bar, he took it down off the windshield and hid it. That made me laugh, there is only one way, and one way out of town. Not too hard to get around, if anyone was going to steal anything it would be a gun from the gun rack. *luckily we don't have one of those in our car.
Lance was convinced that someone would take it.
When we were leaving me and Matt got in the front seat, I rolled the window down, thru crap all over the seat, and called Lance over to the car to tell him that someone broke our window and stole his GPS. He was livid. 'I told you Michelle, I TOLD you.'
Matthew and I were laughing too hard to even tell him it was all a joke.
My sister made her way to the car in her new shirt which stated 'I got All Jacked Up' in Ironton.
On our way home, the discussion of going to taco bell started to happen. Which would all be well and good if there was one close - but there is NOT.
So being the most sober of all of us, I drove us home, and let Lance and Misty dream about eating tacos. As usual we woke up half the house upon our arrival - just like old times.
*If anyone got a photo of Matthew, me and Misty I would love a copy.
I have a ton of photos to share, which may take me a week, but I will get to them.
I hope everyone had a safe and happy holiday. I could not have asked for a better Christmas, and I am praying that 2009 is a better year than 2008.
Monday, December 22, 2008
I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace.
Dr. Phil proclaimed, 'The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished.'
So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Vodka, a package of Oreos, the remainder of an old Vicodin prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now!
*this is NOT Me, but it is funny....enjoy.
Monday, December 15, 2008
We had pouting, we had crying, I tried to bribe her, we had milk, I even offered to paint nails. PLEASE just one freakn' photo. For christmas, I mean for gosh sakes I even got a tree. That's right see the tree in the back, I got a pre-lit one on sale (half off), and stuck that baby up in an hour. I am sprinting for the finish line and of course the kids won't cooperate. Well, Rylan will - he always does. So in true form Pyper will not.
Did I mention that I put the tree up and put ordnament's on it, well a few anyway. Only to have Miss Pyper take them all off, then she started to cry 'chsssmas was all gone. why mommy, why?'
I look at her like she has three heads, all the while a red star is attached to the leg of her pajamas. In my mind I am thinking 'hey crack-head, you are the reason Christmas is all gone. Leave them alone and it will look like Christmas.'
But rather I stated, 'you should probably put them back on the tree, so Christmas can come back.'
She woke up this morning and was upset the lights were off. She wanted them turned on RIGHT NOW. Well, that will get you NO WHERE with me in the morning. Needless to say we did not turn them on, we moved on to bigger and better obstacles.
Like trucking down 270 to West County to see the ENT. That is another story for another day. For new enjoy the few photos that look half way presentable of my kids and my tree.
*see self pat self on back. kudos to me for getting a damn tree and not stuffing Pyper in it like an ornament. Enjoy.
***One last thing 'Terra' (http://www.terrasears.com) gave me an award that I have not thanked her for, nor have I posted. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. THANK YOU. My first award, and I am honored. I am not sure why anyone reads this, but thank you. I apologize for the delay in getting out there, I have been a bit lost lately.
Friday, December 12, 2008
I was home yesterday, lying on the couch and visiting a doctor. An hour later I left with 3 prescriptions - so today, I am loaded up on the drugs.
My head is hazy, my eyes are twitchy - but the green gunk is gone.
I did file with the EEOC, they send the complaint directly to the city attorney - I am waiting on a response. The EEOC told me it would be after the first of the year before any further action is taken. um....nothing like waiting.
In the mean time I have fired up my resume and started sending it out, pressed my suites, and found my high heels. I may need them in the near future.
I figure the IRS will always need people, even in a recession. I am not looking to be the boss, just some job security.
This weekend, hubby and I are going to knock out our x-mas shopping. Which should be interesting - we NEVER shop together for x-mas. This will be our first year. My sister is going to keep my kids sat day / night, so we have no excuse not to get it done. My hubby will be mindful of his spending this year, which is also very unlike him. Last night he was talking about being worrying about the state of the economy. I looked at him like he had 3 heads - 'who is this man?' The only thing he has ever worried about is if he has beer and a recliner.
Anyway, he stated 'we will have to watch our pennies.'
I breathed a sigh of relief. I am 'always watching our pennies.' Him um, not so much. At least this year we will be on the same page.
Plus I am hoping after a long day of shopping we can do dinner.
A dinner with no kids, one I can actually eat before it gets cold, and I don't have to share. I could not be more happy.
Plus I am sure that a drink with my medication will make me GREAT company.
Here's to hoping we have a good weekend.
BTW - I don't have a tree up, nor do we have lights up.
Yeap, we suck. Perhaps we will get some of that done this weekend.
My brother is up from Ar-Kansas (insert twang), so hopefully I will get the chance to see him and his kids as well. I am really looking forward to going to my parents for x-mas. I so need to the energy my family / friends provide.
Oh another thing.....did your kids stop believeing in santa? I 'think' this maybe my last year with Rylan (sad :(.....). Last Sat, Lance came home VERY proud of himself, he found a Wii, and picked it up. That is the BIG present for this year. Four days later while sitting at dinner Rylan states that he needs to start his list to santa. I ask him 'what are you going to ask for?'
He states 'well alot of things, but not a Wii.'
I look cross-eyes - 'uh, What?'
Rylan 'yeah, no Wii, I want a Red IPOD.'
Me ' REALLY. '
Rylan 'Yeah, a kid can change his mind you know. BTW, does Santa ask mom & dad if he can get their presents?'
Me - deer in headlights look. In the back of my mind I am thinking 'hell if I know.'
Lance 'No, Santa does not ask mom & dad, he gets the list and decides if you have been naughty or nice.'
Me - still speechless. Now thinking ' What in the hell was that?'
By this time Rylan has moved on and is now downstairs playing the playstation II.
I look at Lance baffled. Then I state 'well, that is just too damn bad.'
He keeps asking alot of questions about our involvements as parents and Santa. I think he 'knows' but isn't really sure. He is trying to trick us in to slipping - it just might work!
Pyper is going to be GREAT this year. She already loves seeing the x-mas lights, and loves every commerical that comes on the TV. She has started singing jingle bells, but in her world it is 'tinker bells.' She is a princess in the making.
I hope you all have a great weekend. I think we are expecting ice /sleet / snow next week - UGH.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
I know it has taken me ForEver to post, part of me just didn't want to, and part of just couldn't. It seems I have so much to say, but alot of it just seemed like nonsense.
Work is work, at the moment. I am taking my time and trying to get all of my ducks in a row. This is a process, and maybe a LONG process.
*Nothing like fighting for your job in the middle of a damn recession.
Anyway......here's what I know.
Over the weekend my best childhood friend came over for a night with her two girls. Her drama made mine seem like a cake walk. Her life and struggles are hard for a person to imagine. We sat around the table Sat night and joked, 'we could make our millions by writing your life story.' I sat there at my table feeling really blessed and thankful for my family, my husband and my life. Even with all of the work crap, in the scope of things I am okay.
My girlfriend called me and asked if she could come over with her kids, just to get away. She is beyond broke, I told her if she could make it to my house I would give her gas money to get back. By the end of the visit I am not sure who needed it more - her or I. It was so darn good to see her again. It was so darn good to visit with someone who 'knew' me.
We laughed about where we were 15 yrs ago, and how we never thought our lives would be as they are today. We laughed about being in grade school, and being dorky, and boys, and nights out - all of the good stuff, I think I forgot. The small trip down memory lane was nice.
It is funny, my memory lane includes this best girlfriend and my husband. We all pretty much grew up together and here we are years later staring at ourselves in our 30's with kids running around. Who knew?
She came over because she needed me in ways that I could deliver, so I did. We thru my closet, went thru the kids clothes, my sister gave her clothes, I fed them and gave her some money and a hug. She looked at me and said 'what is all of this for?' My response 'because I can.'
She looked up at me 'I cannot t' I cut her off right there......'I think the polite thing to say is thank you.' She smiled and enough was said. I did not do it all to be thanked, I don't want to pat on the back. I just wanted to see my friend. I just wanted to hang around the table for hours with a drink or two and talk. We sat in the guest bed the next morning and drank our coffee, we put mattresses on the floor for the kids. We had a great big slumber party, and in the process I was relived to not think and just be. I should be thanking her........
In the mean time I have caught a cold, I feel like hell. I have not begun to x-mas shop, I don't have lights up, nor have I put up a tree. We have big plans this weekend to get most of it done - we will see. So any day now, things could start to look up. Any day now......
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Will this EVER stop?
Yesterday, I spoke with an employment law attorney.
Today, I spoke with the EEOC to file a complaint.
This afternoon, I am being spoken to by some upper mngt, so they can provide me with the level of discipline action that has been set in place. um....
Discipline for what? We will soon find out.
Funny how when the meeting happened to discuss 'me' I was not allowed to attend.
Funny how when a male counter part was spoken too and disciplined, he was allowed to attend, speak and defend himself.
Funny how a special meeting was held off site in order to speak with a another male counter part in order to discuss with him how inappropriate his language was towards women during his senior staff meetings. The held the special meeting in order to avoid having an open discussion.
Funny how is am being disciplined less than 60 days after a formal complaint was filed against one of the men speaking to me today. Which by the way, he is still employed, still working and no discipline has been set in place for him.
So funny I am laughing my ARSE OFF.
I am tried of this. I am exhausted, I am feeling beat down - perhaps that is the point.
I will fight, I have to...but it is taking its toll. God give help me to be strong, couragous and wise.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Which is ideal, we like to have Sunday to relax and recover.
Our trip was 'fine', nothing to terrible to report.
On our way to the airport Pyper decided to puke all over the place, we had to pull over on the highway to change her, and attempt to clean up. YUCK.
We could not find a car-wash, so my car sat for 7 days with puke. GREAT!!
I threw away her travel outfit, which was covered in puke.
What were my options really? Keep it and travel with a plastic bag of puke for 5 hours to El Paso. um, NO.
Keep it all in the back of my car, in a plastic bag, with the gross car seat? um, NO.
The trash can seemed like the best option. The only good thing, she had plenty of changes of clothes in the car, a suitcase full of stuff.
So, I rode to El Paso smelling like kid vomit. Day 1, good times (NOT).
Day 2, while sitting Chili's having lunch Lance reached over to get Pyper something and knocked his full beer in my lap. Great! We were traveling to NM that day, so on day 2 I smelled like beer.
Well that about sums up my trip.
The highlight - the weather was nice, close to 70 every day.
I am glad to be home!!!!! More to come later.
Friday, November 21, 2008
You know it, sing along 'vacation all I ever wanted, vacation HAVE to get away.'
We are leaving tomorrow for El Paso Texas, where it is 70 and sunny. We will be spending 6 nights and 7 days in Texas, visiting family. Hopefully we break away for a bit and actually just spend time, with our kids by ourselves.
We are planning a day or two in New Mexico as well, with a hotel and a pool. My kids should have a blast, and hopefully have fond memories of getting away. My son loves to visit Texas, we go every year to El Paso, and he has a great love for his Aunts and Uncles there. Pyper on the other hand, has been too little to remember any part of her trips to El Paso. She still maybe too little, but they will be amazed at how much she has grown since last year.
While brushing his teeth this morning, Rylan beams at me 'mom, aren't you just SO excited about going to Texas?'
Me ' sure buddy, by this time tomorrow we will be headed to the airport to get on our plane.'
Rylan 'wow, that sure is early.'
Me with a small laugh ' yeah, the earlier we leave STL, the earlier we get to Texas.'
That answer seems to satify him, and we move on about our morning.
We will need to be at the airport by 8(ish). We are taking Lance's dad with us on this trip. This will be our first trip with Lance's dad, and Pyper who will need her own seat. Lance's dad will need a wheelchair to get around, and Pyper may not sit still, or be quite for the trip. We will take it all in stride - a few drugs may help as well.
Work has been brutal this week. Too much going on to really go into right now. To say that I am frustrated would be an understatement. To say that this place is starting to effect me, would be an understatement. I almost welcome a pink slip, it has gotten so bad. I am puking after each meal from the stress, I am not sleeping from the stress. I will take this next week to re-group, work on my resume and network. Either he goes, or I go............
I had a phone interview this past Thursday, and a lunch meeting yesterday. Wheels are in motion for movement, but what a BAD time to start looking for a job. UGH.
I am getting off track, no more talk about work, stress or this damn place.
I am going on VACATION, my family deserves my undivided attention. I deserve the chance to get away, enjoy the sun and let go of it all of a bit.
I will be gone for a week, and prob will not post while I am gone. I will take lot's of photos and I am sure I will have alot of stories upon my return.
I guess if I was thinking ahead of time, I would have asked a few people to guest write for me.......maybe next time. This time I suck.
Have a great thanksgiving and hopefully you will get to spend it with your family and friends.
*I will not get to see my family, which is weird for me. Actually, it makes me sad. We are always together for the holidays. I know it is Lance's family, which is fine, but I will miss the comfortable atmosphere going home gives me. Tonight I am going to see my sister, and spend a little time before we depart for our week long trip. I am not even gone, and I already miss sitting around my parents table eating turkey.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
**Congrats to the Jefferson County Steelers****
The Superbowl Champions
Friday, November 7, 2008
I have been feeling crappy since last Sunday. I mean really crappy - tired, cranky, sick to my stomach, feeling like I want to puke ALL the TIME. Any woman reading this knows these are clear signs are someone being pregnant. (OMG, I HATE that word).
After having Pyper I had an IUD put in, this thing is suppose to last for 5 yrs, and suppose to be 98% effective. I know, probably TMI, but come on, I don't want anymore kids. So this was my way of making sure I was 98% safe and sound. Because we all know dear ol' hubby won't do anything about it.....he was suppose to get snipped. Once again TMI.
Anyway, so my symptoms have not subsided. I looked at Lance last night and we talked it over and decided we should just take a damn test to be sure that I was not with child. *cringe*
The pit in the bottom of my stomach grows larger, just the possibility of it makes me break out in hives. However Lance, walks around with a boyish, sheepish grin - just thinking of the possibility. Two different schools of thought going on here.
Lance picks me up a test (actually a 2-pack) on his way home from Football. He is glowing with anticipation. I on the other hand still feel like puking!
I go to pee on the stick, with an audience. Mind you, I normally have Pyper in the bathroom anyway - but now I have Lance standing in the doorway peering in. I don't get stage fright, but give a girl some room to pee on the stick and half her hand in the process.
I pee and wait. Two lines show up, I feel faint. Only to grab the box and realize that it is suppose to have two lines, if one of the lines is a positive then I should faint.
I look at Lance and state - NEGATIVE. I am filled with glee.
He seems a bit deflated. I eyeball him from across the room, he states ' I was nervous and happy just with the thought of it all.'
Me - 'dear god, are you crazy.'
And so that was our night.
I left the pee stick on the counter - because I am classy. And went to bed.
I wake up this morning, in a haze, grabbing my coffee and see the pee stick still on the counter. I grab it to throw it away and take a quick glance at it. IT HAS CHANGED...the two lines now have one positive line in the window. I look at the box, I look at the stick - this morning it indicates that I AM PREG. OMG, OMG, OMG. NO, NO, NO!!!!!
I remember very clearly looking at the stick to make sure that there was not a faint positive. *my sister had a 'faint' positive line and got kid #4.*
There was NOT even a faint positive on the stick last night. So what happened.
I look a little closer at the stick and 'someone' filled in the lines with a sharpie. My husband actually took the stick and put a positive line on the window with a sharpie.
Are you kidding me. I called him, and he laughed.
Some joke.................not funny, and WAY to early to be messing with my mind.
He keeps it up and he will not be able to produce children. SO NOT FUNNY.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Rylan was a football player with blue hair, Pyper was a Princess that changed twice.
The photo's here are of her first dress, I did not get photo's of the second dress (it was too dark). Prior to actually walking the neighborhood, she decided that 'I dun't lik'y ths dress.'' Therefore she took it off in the front yard. She refused to wear custom until she saw the other kids running around dressed up. I was afraid she was going to be the kid that did not dress up, but I was wrong. Once we got in the swing of things she was a true champ.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
I will attempt to continue to toe that line, not because I am ashamed, not because I am not political - I just find it better.
I will let you know this much, my household was a split household.
However, my husband was so passionate about his stance that he actually voted today. LISTEN this is a big deal. He registered to vote this summer, and actually found it important to vote for the first time in his life. The man will be 35 next year - he has had plenty of time and plenty of issues to vote on; so why now? I don't really care, I am just really proud of him for getting done.
Not only did he get it done, he did it first thing this morning. He was at the polls at 5:30am. Mind you, I was still sleeping. He felt this was important, he felt that his vote 'might' actually count. Someone and/or something got thru to him - it was not me. I don't care how it happened, but the fact is that it happened. My husband is growing-up right before my eyes, setting good examples for my children - who knew.
*mind you he still gives out his social # and credit card over the phone, we never said growing up was easy. We are still cleaning up that mess.
I will post photos tomorrow of the weekend & Halloween.
I will walk around proudly today with my 'I voted' sticker. I will watch the results tonight after football practice and banter back and forth with Lance over who will REALLY win.
For now I am going outside to walk. It is beautiful - get outside, enjoy the weather before old man winter takes it away. It is a lovely day to go and VOTE in STL MO.
Veterans Day is soon, remember to say thank-you. They are a huge part of the reason we actually get to vote today.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Which surprises me, I normally don't like this holiday, and I am not sure why. I guess after having Rylan and living in an apt where we never got any kids, I never got really jazzed.
But with each passing year, this Holiday gets a little more of heart. My kids are SUPER excited. Which just penetrates to every being in our home. We have decorated, we have gotten a TON of candy, customs, and food (adult beverages). We are for all intensive purposes good to go.
Not to mention the weather....the weather is going to be 'effing beautiful.
I dressed in my long black skirt today, my orange shirt that barely holds my boobs and my boots. And just for grins, I showed up in a bright green wig. Everyone at work laughed - well almost everyone, the Chief of PD did not find it funny. WHATEVER!!!
I am leaving in 2minutes for the rest of the day. I am going to go to my son's Halloween party, pick up Pyper and maybe carve our pumpkins. If we don't get them carved - that will be just fine. Everything else is good to go.
Lance and I have an adult party to attend on Saturday, we will be dressing up. So that should be fun and interesting. I still have no idea what I am going to go as, but we will wing it tomorrow.
I will have photos to share later this weekend.
BTW - Lance still has NOT gotten his credit card issue nixed. He told them he wanted to cancel the subscription and they told him NO. And they said they would not refund his money. We will see........dumb, dumb, dumb.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
But I swear I think he inherited two STUPID genes. Not just one, but two....
Here is sample of his most recents stupid incident.
Last night I get home, and demand that he go by Sears and pick up a new grill. I state, 'just put it on the card, and we will pay it off on payday.'
*I do not encourage credit card use, it makes me break out in hives, but we need this today.
My comment triggered a previous conversation Lance had prior to my arrival home from work. He states ' Oh, by the way Michelle, speaking of the card, I put $895.00 on it today.'
I laugh out loud and state 'No you did not.'
He smirkes, 'Yeah, I did. Some guy called on the phone and said if we spent $895 today he could save us $3,000 in credit card debt.'
I look at him and state 'we dont' have $3,000 in credit card debt - so how could us spending 895 be any help. Dear god.'
Did you give them your social #?
Lance - 'Yeap.'
Me - Did you give them your card card #?
Lance 'Yeap, they needed it in order to have the 895 today.'
Me- I am too stunnded to speak, I am beginning to break out in hives. I am not angry at this point, I am too shocked at how stupid he was.
Lance continues - ' I told the guy on the phone that my wife would be really upset, and he told me to have you call him. Here is his 800 number, Michelle call him.'
Me - 'Why did you do this on the fly? Why not wait so we could discuss?'
Lance 'Because the guy said I had to do it now to get the deal.'
Me 'Of COURSE he did.' * I am drinking at this point. I left the glass of wine half full on the table and moved on to swigging straight from the bottle.
Lance - 'Look Michelle (he pulls out a piece of paper), I have all of their info. they are ligit.'
Me - I glance at the piece of paper, and see an 800 number as well as a PO box in Clearwater FL. That's right folks, my hubby gave his information to someone with a 800 number and a PO Box. OMG.......OMG..........OMG.
I cannot belive he was that STUPID.
I look at him and ask ' Why did you even really speak with the man? You normally ask any 800 to please quit calling us, and take us off their list. Were you bored, and needed some company?'
I have asked him to call the company today and CANCEL the expense. He said fine.
Then he called me back 10 minutes later and said 'THEY really think they can help us. I want you to send them all of our information as well as any contracts we have.'
ME - HELL NO. Are you kidding me Lance, this is a SCAM.'
Lance - 'Why would we not do this if they can save us money? I don't understand you Michelle.'
OMG. OMG. OMG.
What am I dealing with????????????
Someone please help me.
I feel like I am dealing with Patrick from Spongebob!!!!
Monday, October 27, 2008
Where in the hell did the month go?
Somewhere between the meetings, meetings, meetings and meetings this month I lost the entire month.
Dear heaven. That means, that next is Thanksgiving and then the dreaded Christmas.
*****I HATE the holidays. It seems like way too much work on my end.
So much going on, so little time to blog about it.
Where to start???
um. Well, my budget meetings are almost over. YEAH. I have my final one this Tuesday, then we will wrap it up, issue it and move on to the audit work. In the mean time, last week I re-arranged my office. This is code for DEAR GOD WE HAVE ALOT OF CRAP. I have alot of stuff in the conference room that still needs my attention, but I just shut off the light and closed the door. I cannot look at it any more today. I will tackle a little more of it tomorrow. It was very overwhelming, and I am sure in the end it will be a good idea. But today it still seems daunting.
My boss apparently had a meeting last Thursday with the powers to be. From the under ground gossip it must not have gone well. I am still waiting for the process to correct the problem, and I guess the fact that they have had a meeting with him now gives me hope. It is my understanding that he returned from the meeting and gave someone in the office a thumbs down. I guess that is code for not going to make it. I am trying to stay out of the gossip, and out of his way. Therefore I am tearing apart my office, so I have to clean it, and letting my work pile up so I am not tempted to get caught up in the gossip wheel. *which is hard, I am FEMALE.
But so far so good.........
Keep my fingers crossed that the wheels are in motion.
This weekend was good. I will briefly re-cap.
I had 7 kids on Friday night. Yeap 7 of them. From 13 to 2 - good times!!
Lance and I took them all to the Halloween party at the park. They luv'd it. We rode the hay-ride, played games, froze our butts off and made it home in time for bed. We got up Sat and made / decorated cup-cakes.
Sat Lance and Rylan left for the Mizzou game. Which apparently was a success. Rylan has a smile plastered across his face. Him and his dad had a great time.
Sat night Pyper went to my sisters to continue her family time with her cousins. Sat night my sister took all the kids to Grants Farm and did the Halloween fair across town.
I went to the Ameristar with 5 other girls and saw the 80's Band at the Bottle Neck Blues Barr. Good times were had by all.
Did anyone else hear this past weekend that we were suppose to fall back? I swear I told Lance on Sunday, to leave me the hell alone - I gained an hour. I KNOW i heard it.
***Well, apparently it is next weekend. Any day now, I could use the extra hour- may then I will actually make it to work on time.
I am only working 1/2 a day on Friday so I can attend Rylan's school party. We will leave school early and go home and get ready for Halloween. Rylan will be a football player and Pyper is going to be a princess.
We have football practice Tues / Thurs of this week. I told Lance if the tempture gets below 60 degrees I am not going. Well, since the high today is 49, that means Pyper and I will not sit out in the cold and freeze our arses off for practice. We will freeze for the games only. *I think that seems fair.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
With the new dog in his home, Grandpa has a bit of pep in his step, a glow in his face, and happiness in his voice. I have not seen a glimmer of that happiness since before he lost his beloved wife, Nancy, last November. I am so glad he has company.
*not to mention, Lance was smitten. We agreeed we could get another dog, after the holidays. I am so happy! We will not be getting a great pyrenees, but we will be getting a dog.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
I had it all planned out on my way into work. I was going to stand my ground, call a meeting with my boss and explain how in appropriate his actions were yesterday. God must have been shining down on me, because prior to making my way to his office, I glanced at my approved job duties and low and behold I don't need his approval or endorsement to issue the budget.
He was totally off base yesterday and I had it in writing.
Not to mention that the mayor put him in his place thru out the day yesterday. This only supported my cause, which is good for me. Not to mention it gave me another level of confidence.
My goal today was to stand up to this man AGAIN. So, I squared my shoulders, dug deep, marched into his office, requested a third party attend, and demanded a meeting. He glanced at me, agreed to the meeting and I began. * I summed all of the courage I thought possible. I seemed to be on auto drive.
I let him know I was well within my right of issuing the document in the manner in which I did. I informed him that my office does not take it lightly when any throws around the word 'fraudulent' information. As he implied yesterday that my office issued fraudulent information. He will need to choose his words more wisely. I am by no means going to continued to be subject to his emotional rants. I continued to let him know that I have spoken with the City Attorney, Pres of the Board and the Mayor.
His tone today changed. He was apologetic, semi defeated and deflated. I informed him that I was not looking for an apology. I will not be met at my car in the parking lot, and escorted to his office, as if I am begin led to the principal to be scolded. I don't mind being wrong, I do make mistakes, I own up to my mistakes - but yesterday was a result of his inability to control his emotions. Case and point, he told the Pres of the Board that he could not wait for me to arrive to work because he was going to 'rip into me'. So I called him on that statement as well.
I was prepared for a fight, instead I got a defeated man. My goal is not to defeat him, just to address his bulling tacts head on.
Was I scared, HELL YEAH. But now that it is over, I am encouraged that I did the right thing. I am feeling better and no longer amped up.
Stress is such a waste of my emotions. such a waste of my time.
I am not sure if it was the right thing to do, but I knew that I could let the situation go with out addressing it. It could be the dumbest thing I have ever done...to date.
I am sure others will follow.
* I am my mother's child, and I have alot of my father in me. Neither one of them would not have taken this abuse. That i can be sure of, I just am not sure if I acted more like my mother or my father. I am re-active like my mother - but I tried REALLY hard to take some time to think about my approach, and to not be too emotional. I 'think' that was more like my father.
Last night, I decided not to go to football practice. It was wet and raining. So, Pyper and I stayed home. We decided to take a bubble bath, together. In my state of mind yesterday, I thought it was a good idea, I needed a calgon moment. Why I thought getting in the bath w/ bubbles and two year old was a good idea - i can only contribute to lack of common sense.
We climbed in and she eyeballed me from the other side. You know the look, the one that says what in the hell are you doing??
I smiled at her, and attempted to let the water surround me. I NEEDED a calgon moment. Throw me a damn bone.
After we finished making eyes at each other, we moved on to body parts. Dear god, child. Okay, not such a good idea. If I had to say one more time, 'this is my body, and this is your body.' 'Yes, those are my boobs, we don't' touch.' one more time I thought I was going to scream.
She would poke and giggle - poke and giggle. Then she decided to splash. Dear god. So I got out, and she started swimming. Thrilled that she now had the tub to herself. As I got out I could hear her singing, 'boobs, boobs. mommy's boobs. these are mine, those are hers'.
*Great, how will I explain that one to the sitter?
Once she got out, we decided to make banana bread out of our rotten banana's. She was thrilled. She pulled her chair over the counter, and away we went. That was the moment I was looking for. Cooking -good idea, bath w/ two year old -BAD IDEA.
Next time I need a calgon moment, I will wait until everyone is asleep.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Ry - hey, mom.
Me - yeah.
Ry - I know why you MAKE me drop off the movie. (mind you it just goes in the slot).
Me - why?
Ry - Because I am the fastest person in the house. The rest of you would take FOREVER.
Me - *smiling* Yeap, you are right. Thank god we have you to run around for us.
*Apparently, new shoes work wonders, and make you fast.
Do any come with super-powers??
Ever since 'pulling the trigger' I have been sick with anticipation.
Not to mention that I have a budget to issue this month.
As of today the 'powers that be' still have not addressed the boss issue. I issued packets of information to the Mayor & City Attorney. This packet included several individual accounts, in their own words, of their abuse. By several individuals I mean over 7 of them issued statements. When we only employ 73 full timers that is pretty significant - like 10%.
All weekend, I stressed over this issue. It keeps me up at night, makes me feel like throwing up, and has me walking a bit of a fog.
This morning, I was met at my car by my boss and he escorted me in to his office. *never a good sign when you are met at your car and provided an escort.
He was angry over an item I placed in the 'preliminary budget' to be discussed next week. Actually, angry is an understatement. He apparently told someone that he was going to 'rail' on me. um....fine choice of words.
I sat there, reminding myself to keep my composure, stated my case, and attempted to listen to his. His case does not make any sense, most control freaks do not make sense when they feel they have lost control. I keep reminding my self to be nice, 'play nice', 'say your sorry', nod your head & play the game. I should have won an award.
Because the reality of it is that I wanted to jump across the desk, kick the man in his balls and scratch his eyeballs out.
But no, I apologized for the miscommunication, told I would try to be a better team player. Cited reasons for the misdirection etc. Knowing in the back of my mind that this another tic on this man's ever glowing trail of destruction.
I went to work, took lunch off site - to get away.
The whole time my insides are screaming. My mind is telling me to not take this lying down. But the common sense side is telling me to play the game, and let him fail. Don't let him take me down too. And within 2 hours he circulated an email to all of the powers that be letting them know he was disappointed in a few items I issued in the budget.
His email was counteracted with words of support for my office, and questions began to arise regarding his management style. This is the beginning. This is why I must remain calm, cool and collected. Because he will self-destruct, if I just let him.
*because my budget was correct, the items were suppose to be in there. Actually, they were expected to be in there - so why would he 'demand' that i take them out. All questions that he must now answer.
In the mean time I will be subject to his attempted rants. However today, as he attempted to get louder, I simply stated 'Don't you dare raise you voice at me.'
He glared at me - I glared back.
His tone remained strong, but not too loud.
He knows I am serious, just how serious remains to be seen.
I am giving the Mayor & City Attorney a few days to review the packet of documentation. But if they do not act soon then other actions will be sought from the outside.
So NO, the shit has not hit the fan. But in the mean time, he continues to be an idiot, and continues to show people that he cannot manage. I can only hope that will won't last too much longer..........
Thursday, October 2, 2008
For a long time I have been allowing you to peer into my relationship with my ars*hole boss, well I have taken the steps necessary to bring formal action against him. This decision was not taken lightly, and now that i have opened the flood gates I must walk in, grab the life raft and hope that it does not get a hole and sink.
Two days ago I met with the new Mayor off site to disclose the degree of anger, erratic behavior, extreme emotions that my boss displays. My boss for the most part has avoided me, mainly because I fought back. I got back in his face, I ignored him, I walked away from him, and I told him I would sue him. But on the flip side, he turned his anger and terrible management style on other employees.
It is my job as a manager to protect those employees as well. As side from my own personal experiences with this man, I have counted at least 10 other people, who have been subject to this man and is tactics. These people are CRYING out for help. They are stopping aldermen in the grocery stores to tell them their stories, they are finding aldermen while they are on their daily walks to explain the extreme angry they have been subject to. They are crying at the coffee pot, speaking to the Chief of Police. They are even telling the City Attorney, personally. So tell me, why is NO ONE doing anything?? I have had more than enough.
One of the aldermen told me that the staff person 'asked me not to tell.'
What a bullsh*t response. These employees said please don't tell, of course they did. They are in fear of losing their job, or being punished.
*But on the flip side, the sought you out. They told you their story of mistreatment, they are desperate for a change and you think because they 'asked' you not to tell that you don't have an obligation to protect them. Hey, idiot, YOU HAVE AN OBLIGATION!
I am beyond done. And I am going to push them to make a change.
This pushing could cost me my job, no one likes to be challenged. But then again, we cannot allow this man to be responsible for 75 full time employees and treat people in the manner in which he does. There are laws and organizations that protect us, if you fail too.
I went to the Mayor in an effort to 'follow' the chain of command. To allow the process the opportunity to address the issue first. I don't have much faith in the process, I have seen it fall apart before. I have seen the powers to be sweep it under the rug, turn a blind eye, or claim ignorance. NO MORE. It is time to address the issue. I have the EEOC and Labor Dept on speed dial. I have shared my own personal discrimination with an off-site attorney.
My breaking point, is that it is no longer about me. Aside from that it is getting worse. His anger and aggression is getting worse. I cannot live with myself if I don't protect the hourly employees, if I don't push the board to protect the employees. I just wonder how they can live with themselves, because I believe they would continue to let it happen, because it is easier than addressing the situation. Shame on them.
This leap of faith may cost me my job.
*What is new.
I know I have said that before, and it sucks that in my two years at this work place I am constantly worrying about whether or not I will lose my job. I just cannot understand how in today's society they are able to tolerate such a Hitler style of management. Such an abusive style of management.
Don't get me wrong, I can tolerate 'bad days', yelling, disagreements...this is way beyond that. And I think majority of us fear that this man will snap in the near future. What then?
I am not out to be a trend setter, to make an example. But I do have to live with myself, and attempt to protect myself. I just have been given the task of trying to protect the entire workforce as well. What a large load to carry.
I am not sure if I feel better or worse for getting the wheels rolling. The pit in the bottom of my stomach feels larger today, the lump in my throat has moved up. Sleepless nights and gray hair are sneaking up on me. I will never tell the people that I am trying to protect how much I am going out on a limb for them, I just hope that we will all get some relief. I just hope that I don't make matters worse.
Keeping my fingers crossed that it is time for Karma to give this man a good swift kick in the behind.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Any other words to wise? I welcome your advice.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
First off, Pyper is now sick. The child is home today with her father, so I made it to work. Only, after I paid in boogers and blood to get out of my house. The child was up at 4am, with a fever. I tried to give her the necessary medicine to cure the fever and go back to bed - the child spit it out. My head was about to spinn off. Then said child dumped her cup all over the couch. Angry does not begin to describe my mood. On the second attempt of getting the medicine down the childs throat, i shot it in there, and held her lips shut. Blew air in her eyes until she swallowed. It sounds worse then it was, REALLy. Once her lips could open she was screaming at the top of her lungs. I scooped her up, and brought her down stairs and placed her in the middle of my bed. *the bed where hubby was snoring the night away without a care in the world, while I am dealing with the devil child.
Pyper was back asleep in 10 minutes.
6:00 am, came really early this morning. Pyper whimpered from the moment she got up, nothing pleased her, nothing made her happy. Once she realized that I was leaving and she was not, she was hysterical. I mean HYSTERICAL. For the love of god, give me a drink and some drugs.
You would think this would be the worst of my day, um, well, not so much.
Because most people suck!
My boss sucks, I dealt with him on my way into work.
Then I get to work to find out that a 'family' member has been bad mouthing me and dear ol' hubby.
Can we say final straw???
I personally tried to call 'said' family member, and luckily he was not home to answer his phone, because I had a ear full for him. Then, after some further thought, I called my hubby and told him to handle it. It is with his side of the family anyway *which sucks.
I have been more than tolerant with this particular relative, I have bite my tongue on more than one occasion, but no more. I.Am. DONE.
So this particular family member has major control issues, major drinking issues, and frankly just sucks. He is not happy unless he makes everyone around him miserable. I refuse to get sucked up into his warped world. Apparently his 18 yr old daughter has gotten her self into a bit of trouble, while away at college. His daughter is my niece, whom I stay in contact with. He has taken it upon himself to tell his father, sisters and the whole town that the reason his daughter is in trouble is because of the manner in which Lance and I have influenced her.
*see eyes roll in back of head, and middle finger flipping up.
My words to him: *Hey dumbarse - you are the parent, she is kids. She will make dumb decisions, she will drink & drive, she will go to the bar, she will have boyfriends, and she will not obey your every wish.
If you choose to blame anyone perhaps you should look in your own household. You know the one that you created with fear, beatings, cruel words and control. Your being a control freak, and a piss poor dad is the reason she is acting out, the reason she is not talking to you. When you say things like 'your hips are getting big, it must be from spreading your legs.' You can imagine what that does for your childs self esteem. Not that you ever cared, you preferred that she never had a sense of self or worth. You want to blame me. FINE. I can take it, but be big enough to pick up the phone and tell me about it. Ohh, that is right. You are not that big. You are only a big talker, who persuades with anger, punishment and fear. Those tactics don't work on me, you know better than to call me, because I would tell you to kiss my a*ss.
I feel no love loss between us. I am sorry that my husband is subject to you as his brother. This is not the way brothers and sisters act. You are a poor example for a parent, friend, husband and brother. Shame on you.
I am not always right, not always sane, not always on target. But i have tried and am done with you. You are toxic in my world. You spineless fool. There is no love loss between us, as your world falls apart I pity you. May your 'god' save your soul, as you continue to live your lie and spin your web of lies, it will catch up with you. As you continue to be jealous of other people, their possessions and their loving relationships - it will catch up with you.
I sleep well at night, loving my husband and my family. I have enough love for yours as well. Your daughter needs someone to lift her up, and embrace her - the good, the bad, the ugly and the mistakes.
*thanks for letting me rant, I feel better!!
I am really tired of the toxic people in my life. I cannot get away from this man, but I refuse to be a part of his control game. Lance did call his brother today, and his brother did tell him that he was saying all of those things about us. Lance just said ' if that is how he feels Michelle then there is nothing we can do about it.'
Why are men so damn dumb? Well, at least his brother knows we know.......let the games begin.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Somewhere among the frantic weekend and the sudden sickness, I got lost in time.
I just made it thru today, and I have idea what the hell I did all day. I know i did alot, my desk looks like a wreck, and my calender was packed full. But damn, if I can remember what I did two minutes ago.
I was home yesterday caring for a sick 7yr old boy. He woke up a 1am on Sunday morning, letting me know that he needed to puke. So, once I wrapped my head around the notion that someone was actually talking to me at 1am, my eyes flashed open, my feet hit the floor and we found the local toilet. We spent the next 7 hours making frequent trips to the porcelain god or sturdy trash can. He was a sad soul all of yesterday, with his never ending fever and puking. I spent the day changing sheets, pillow cases, wiping down door knobs, and attempting to kill the germ before it takes over my household.
I sent Pyper to the sitters, she was feeling fine. I figured a day away would be good for her, and hopefully keep her far enough away to not get sick. Well, so much for my effort- it was futile. Pyper woke up last night with a fever. DAMN,DAMN, DAMN.
So today, Lance is off work (they are slow) and he has both kids. Praying that tomorrow everyone can get back to their normally scheduled program. Highlight of the sickness, we won't make practice tonight.
As a side note and to highlight the normal everyday stuff, today is my 8 year anniv. And the reality is that I forgot - which in turn means that Lance prob forgot as well. I am just to damn tired to even care, besides it is a Tuesday - who celebrates on a Tuesday?
I put reminders on my calender today to remind me to go out and get a card & 'something' - but i just kept pressing 'snooze' and alis it is 4:18 and I have not gone anywhere.
If I thought my stunning personality and rockn' bod would cut it I would not be so freaked out. *But since I am crabby, tired, and middle age - I prob should stop by and pick up a cake and beer.
Then I can call it a day.
8 years ago he would have settled for sex and drinking ;
today we find cake and beer - because sex is out of the question.
I am TIRED and I have a headache.
Look me up in another 8 years when the kids are gone, we can have make-up anniv sex. *pencil me in.
Happy Anniv from our reality to yours......
*thank you to a. di for the text reminder as well.