Thursday, September 27, 2007

Gray hair?

So last night I found a gray hair. There I said it (actually I wrote it).

I stood in the mirror in the bathroom, thinking about plucking my unruly eyebrows, when there IT was. I stood there for a moment and tried to decided if it was actually a 'blond hi-lighted' hair. Finally, I plucked it out and held it between my finger tips, trying to decide how I felt about it all.

I must have been standing there awhile, because the bathroom filled up with the rest of my family. Lance stood in the door way looking at me (the look said *what are you doing?). I kept my fingers pressed together and brought the hair closer to his face, I gave him the 'LOOK' notion. He laughs out loud.

I reply 'not the response I need at this moment'. He said ' well it is safe to say it is not blonde.' Okay, still not the response I need. I am not sure whether to laugh or cry. I trying to decide whether to keep it or not - why? Why not?

I kept Rylan's first hair cut, Pyper's first hair-cut - this is my first gray hair (UGH). That is it, I feel officially OLD. I am not very happy about this one. I drop the damn thing in the toilet ( it belongs with the rest of the *shat) and move on to putting the kids in the tub. Once they are in the tub, I sit in the sink and begin searching my head for 'its' brothers or sisters......I figure where there is 'one' there must be others. Alias, I did not find another one. I thought maybe that would bring me some comfort. Guess what - no comfort!

It was really hard for me to give up my 20's - I LOVED my 20's. I had a ROCK'N good time. I would be 20 (something) forever. Now this is another reminder that I am getting older. Never mind the 5 xtra pounds I cannot drop, or the dimples in my butt, or the wrinkles around my eyes. I was dealing with all of those in a rather rational way.

1) the 5 xtra pounds would prob go away if I gave up Fries and wine. I figure I am 30 (something) screw giving up my fried foods and wine.

2) the dimples on my butt. Genetics. Enough said. I could do squats until the cows come home and my butt would still look like cottage cheese. I could run the Boston Marathon, and have runners legs w/ dimples. So instead I opt for being semi-lazy and having dimples. * I run M/W/F during my lunch two miles. Not great, but a start.

3) wrinkles. Have you met my family, I am lucky I don't look like Tammy Faye. Wrinkles are simply a part of laughing and crying, we call them character builders in our home. ha!

But gray hair. I fear I will NOT grow old gracefully.


I went out last night, with Misty and her girlfriend Angie - we saw Joe Dirt (big surprise). I left around 9:00pm- once I put everyone to be. (this includes Lance). As I drove out of my sub-division I noticed a full-moon. I should have known then that CRAZIES would be out. I called Misty as I pulled into the parking lot. She was insist on meeting me in the lot and walking me into the bar. (Why, I wonder. It is not as if her skinny ass could save me from anyone). Anyway, as I am locking my car, and making sure my dome lights go off we are approached by a car, with a single young (early 20's) man. He yells out his window to us ' Any cute guys in there'. I think to myself (why would another guy be asking about guys in the bar). I inform the guy that the Gay bars are downtown. He ignores me, focuses on Misty and proceeds with 'uh, dude I've already been drinking and needed to size up my competition.'

*I am not even in the door and I am already annoyed. STUPID boys.

Misty tells him to F off. I guess I could have tried that one too.... :)

We are in the bar, for approx 45 minutes and then another crazy approaches me. Misty is on the dance floor, I am sipping my vka/crbery and this guys says 'can you do the splitz?' I give him a WHAT look?

He proceeds' well, you are a GIRL'.

Me ' thank for the news flash, did my boobs give it away?'

Him ' How, much do you want to bet that I can do the splitz?'. I look at Angie and ask if I am at the carnival, or the freak show? I turn my back on the kid and ignore him. *it is either that or punch him. I turn around and he has approached Misty on the dance floor. I see her look annoyed, and she throws me a WTF look. The nex thing I know, this kid is doing the Chinese spitz in the middle of the dance floor. GAWD! What is going on. (mind you this kid - 20 something, heavy-set in cargo pants and a baggy black T-shirt. Does not even look like an average athlete.). By this time Misty seems impressed. Oh, no!

I go out to the floor, to try to distract her and get rid of splitz boy.

In all of my time at the bar I have NEVER seen any man (other than stripper) do the splitz. Is this a new way to pick up chicks? I am so glad I am married, the pickn's are slim out there in the dating world.

As our night proceeds we are approached by a group of 21 yr olds - GAWD!! It is one guys B-day (of course). He begins with how old are you guys, 21 , 25. *Any other time I would have been flattered. But when you approach me with beer-goggles, I just get annoyed. GET A WAY!!

Perhaps I am too old to deal with this anymore. I have little to no tolerance for the stupidy that comes with younger drinking.

His friend approaches us and we get the 'you guys are Haut, are you two sisters?' Misty 'No, neighbors.' ha!

I finish my drink and leave. I have 3 drinks, and danced a few times. I get home, and try to sneak in the door. My heals click, click, click on my new wood floors. I 'think' I hear a small squeal, perhaps it is Pyper. I head to the bathroom and throw the light on - I need a shower (I stink like bar smoke). I hear another moan, so I peer into the living to see if I hear it again. My inquiry is met by Lance and Pyper staring back at me....UGH!! Kill me now! No shower for me.

Pyper starts crying the moment she really sees me. Lance says she has been up for a 1/2 hr. He hands her over and heads down stairs to bed. I try rocking her....we rock, and rock, and rock. I try to maneuver my free hand to remove my boots and socks. I am STILL in my bar clothes. It is 1am, I get in bed clothes still on, and place Pyper in the middle. Hoping I get her to sleep, so I can get a shower. She is restless. Nothing is working. I end up sleeping in my clothes, STINKING. As Lance kisses me good-by this morning, he says ' goodbye, I love you stinky head.' ha! Thanks. I am prompted to burn my sheets and take a shower at 6am. I am still trying to decided if going out for 2 hours was really worth the hassle?

As of now the answer is NO.

This evening we will rush around like mad-men, get home, pick-up, pack our bags and head BACK down to the country. I really need a break. I really need to address my house, my kids, switch out summer clothes to fall etc. I need another 12 hours in my day. I try to place it all into perspective - there will come a time when we won't go to the country as much, and the other things will get done. In the mean time, I should consider a maid and a laundry fairy!

God speed. Our weekend is filled with travels and family - we really are lucky.

Monday, September 24, 2007


I am the smuck this time. This weekend was spent running around like a mad-man, dragging my kids from one event to another. I say 'dragging' as if they did not enjoy it all, they had a great time. Although we could have done without the 90 degree weather.

We drove down to the country Friday night - getting out of the house alive was an achievement. I have been in a MOOD lately. I am super stressed....and it showes. I have been biting everyone head off and feeling as if I could explode at any moment. Friday evening was no different. Pyper is in a clingy stage, she is driving me NUTS.

She does not know whether she is coming or going. For example -She stands in front of the fridge and grunts (that is code for open the door). I open the door she proceeds to pull out the crisper (we designate one crisper to kids snacks), she then gets a cheese stick and holds it in the air. I proceed to unwrap the cheese stick, and this simple notion sends her into a fit. I am standing there perplexed and half frustrated. I try to hand her the cheese stix, this is met with an intense 'no,no' I set it on the table and walk away. This action is met with rage from her, she beings grabbing my leg and crying. (Gawd child..)I try to pick her up, she does not want to be picked up, I try to smooth her hair, she does not want me to touch her. (GAWD). FINE, I make my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth - she follows behind sounding like a bat that just lost a wing. I turn around to meet her stare, she is approx 3 feet from me, she looks right at me and throws the cheese stix at me and then throws herself on the ground in a rage. I am at a loss and half humored - she threw the damn thing right at me. I tell her no, which make matters worse - (I think who cares, she is already upset). I tell her 'NO' and place her on the couch (I think in one of those books I read, you are suppose to remove the child from the situation. And since I could not place her on the front step with a sign that read 'take me'. I figured the couch was the next best place). This is just one example of her latest mood.

Friday evening while trying to get packed was not any different. She loved to hate me that evening. Pick me up.. no, don't pick me up....feed, don't feed me. I hate this stage in child development. While this transpires, Lance and I continue to have words. I figure I am on a roll, why should Pyper be the only one to *Enjoy my latest mood. Apparently, I am not happy unless I spread the attitude. I think I yelled at everyone at least once. We load up the car and begin our trek down to the country. For the most part we are all silent. The kids watch a movie and I begin to read a book. We arrive in the country around 8pm. My mood has not changed. My mind is packed with stress ( kids, work, travel, bills etc). Pyper was a bear on Friday night, I am convinced she is nocturnal, bats are nocturnal (she sounds like one dying on occasion). She was officially up at 5am...Lance is also up, but Pyper is not happy unless I am up too. She continues to come into the room where I am trying to sleep and pesters me for hours ( I tried to sleep until 8am). She squeals like a bat, she turns on the light, she climbs on the bed and pulls my hair. So once again my 'mood' is still there. I am cursing Lance...can't he keep this child entertained for an hour so I can sleep. I am in a *Whatever mood. I get up, drink 1/2 cp of coffee and grab a shower. I get the kids dressed and we are out the door by 9:30 am. Mind you Lance stayed home, to do home work (that is code for doing NOTHING with out the kids).

I took the kids to the courthouse and to breakfast - they were good. Then we go back to pick up Lance and head to the park - where the battle re-enactment is taking place. Nothing like 90 degree weather, cannons, horse poop and guns to brighten my day. We spend 5 hours in the sun watching the battle and roaming around the booths. I bring the back-pack to lug Pyper around in....thinking the stroller would be too bulky. Guess what *today my back hurts (duh).

Around 5pm, I see my mother among the madness and she lets me know that Pyper has been in the sun too long and will prob be *So sun burnt the she will have blisters.

I am thinking to myself - *what. If you ever WONDER where I get my drama from, all you to do is meet my mom. Blisters - ha!! I maybe winging it as a parent, but I am hardly negligent. She was hot, and had some sun, but blisters. ha! I can hear the story now in the tax office 'Beenie was down and had those kids out all day without sunscreen. Poor, Pyper was suffering. ' I giggle just thinking about the life this story will get. Perhaps DCS will show up with sunblock. (now I am just being bitter). We pack up our kids around 5pm - put them in a cool bath and then drag them down to a local bar/rest to get some food. They play on the patio and I two glasses of wine -much needed. Then when we are leaving the restaurant the guys decide we need to go BACK to the fort to watch them 'blow' it up. Because that will be cool. *NO!.

I am in heels - I went to dinner - not major heels. But these shoes are not conducive to walking around the fort in the grass. My mood is once again BACK!.

We arrive at the fort at 8pm. Lance gets beer, I am sure he is feeling *fine. I am carrying Pyper and trying not to sink in the grass. Frustrated! We miss the blast, because we were at the beer garden. They decided to walk around looking at things. At 8:30 I get the keys and hike back to the car with Pyper is tow. She is cold, worn out and DONE. By this time I am also DONE.

Lance and I have a stupid fight. It was so stupid that neither of us were will to admit it was stupid or we were wrong. So the fight escalated, he yelled, and even stopped in the middle of the road. I tease him, *like stopping in the middle of the road is suppose to make a point?

This make him more mad. Which was kind-of my point. Once we get back to the house, we keep our distance. I spend another evening wrestling with the Pyper the night time bear. OMG.

Sunday morning, I am CRANKY. I could KILL someone. First I yell at the kids then I move on the Lance. Why, because he SUCKS. Good morning.

Around 9:30am, Lance and I say a few polite words to each other. It is our 7th year anniversary, we could try to be polite. I go to the car and get his card and cuff links. Happy Anniversary I manage to spit out. He stands up reads the card, and opens his cuff links.

I figured that was it. Moment over.

Boy was I mistaken. He walks over to me, with these moist eyes. I am thinking * the card was not that good. He reaches in his pocket and hands me a small red box with a ribbon. I think * he did not forget. How nice, I am sure it is a pair of earrings. I open the box prepared to find earrings. And there it is ****it is beautiful. I close the box, and tell him we cannot afford to do this. I am sitting down and crying. It is a new ring. Mind you weeks ago I lost my wedding ring, well here it is my ring only upgraded. Upgrade is an understatement. This is a whopper. We really cannot afford this. I don't know what to say, I think about what a smuck I have been and I begin crying more. I tell Lance we cannot do this, not now. He responds 'it will never be a good time, and you deserve it'. Grandma Nancy pipes in "see Michelle, you are so special'. I manage a mek 'thankyou....I love you'. I am afraid to touch it.

Damn him. I am so impressed with him I cannot stand it. He actually took my ring weeks ago, and went to the jeweler and had it all taken care of. Who knew? Regardless of the ring, the whole theory was well thought out and so very deep for us. I am speechless. I am impressed.

Back to the ring, I don't think I can keep it. It really is too much. I talk to him about it last night, he tells me not to worry. I tell him 'it is foolish to spend our money on this'. He smiles and said 'I am a fool.' So there he sits once again with my heart in his hands. It is not the ring or the money, it is sense of commitment I felt right then. I could not sleep last night, I am not sure how we will pay for this thing. He assures me things will be fine. This ring cost more than his truck. It is foolish. I am afraid, but confident. I thought about taking the ring back to the jeweler and asking for a down-grade. Then I thought, I would not insult Lance in that manner. He will make it work, I trust that. I told him last night, ' I do not want to the cost of this ring to cause money issues between us. I don't want the stress of that, too. ' He smiled ' Michelle, take the damn ring, shut up and wait and see.'

I am sure he feels with this new company and the job he will have OT and a great opportunity. So here we go, Lance his new job and me and my ring. Feet first or nothing at all. Failure is not a option. I love you and thank you for your thoughtfulness. We could lose it all tomorrow and still be strong. But in the meantime my finger will sparkle -ha!!

I pray that everyone gets and opportunity to have a moment like that - one where someone else paid enough attention to you to give you a foolish moment.

7 years later, a house, two cars, two kids and jobs - we are living the american dream. 7 years later, a best friend, a lover, a father, a son, a brother and a husband. With love from your wife- Michelle

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Quote of the day:

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some of us are just out of film.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007


Not much going on....well that is a mis-statement. I have so much going on, I seem to be getting NOTHING done.

My desk is swamped with projects (budget, analysis, payroll, AP) etc. Plus all of these small side projects. And all I can think about is going outside.....I am distracted.

Most people who know me won't find that one hard to believe. Last night Lance had class, so when we got home he was gone. Rylan and I decided to make it 'make your own pizza night'. *fine with me, I HATE to cook. One, I am not good at it and two, it bores me. I would rather eat cereal and yogurt. I figure my kids can survive off cereal and yogurt.

Back to the pizza. We have already prepared crust, so all we need to do is chop, shred and spread. Easy. We pull up chairs to the counter top, one for Rylan and one for Pyper. As fast as Rylan can put items on the pizza, Pyper is taking them off. She is taking them off and either taking a bit of them or examining them licking them and putting them back. Rylan is furious. 'MOM, Pyper won't leave the pizza alone!!' Pyper looks really proud of herself - she is covred in pizza sauce and has a peperonni stuck to her chin. I try to calm Rylan down and distract Pyper. I give Pyper a bowl with her own stuff - mushrooms, cheese, sauce etc. This way she can eat and play in it. Oh no, now she wants to put it on the pizza, on top of Rylan's stuff.

Word of Wisdom - *don't eat anything from the DePew house unless Lance made it; or it is prepackaged. Who knows who has stuck their fingers init, snezzed on it or licked it and put it back :>) Happy eating.

The pizza turned out fine.....everyone had to get changed (again). While the pizza was cooking we sat and began Rylan's homework - reading, writing and math. Every night we spend 1/2 hr to 40 minutes doing homework. Pyper must do homework too....she gets paper and caryons or a pencile. Rylan really amazes me - I don't remember being so smart *so soon. I am fearful that I won't be able to help him with his homework by the 3rd grade. And Pyper wants to learn just as much as Rylan. We truly are in trouble...

Our small world was nice last night. We played ball outside, took a bath, made pizza, did homework, ate pizza, gave hugs-n-snugs and went to bed.

A prayer to the dryer fairy* PLEASE FIX MY DRYER. I have been without a dryer for almost two weeks now. Actually it works, it just blows out cool air. Do you know how long it takes to dry dark clothes on cool. FOREVER!!! I timed it - almost 6 hours, one load. OMG, kill me now. So when you see my kids and if they are wearing the same clothes, it is not because I am too lazy to wash them. I just don't wash them for fear they may never DRY. So Lance - I am going to call handyman Joe if you dont' get on the ball. Or we could just start buying new clothes to get us thru..............

We are hoping for a non-stressful evening, filled with laughter.

Who knew having kids could be so much fun. I look back and I don't know if my parents really 'enjoyed' us. I can honestly say, I totally enjoy my kids. *don't get me wrong, there are times I would give them away on the wal-mart pk lot.

We have our stressful moments, but we spend our time taking it all in. I don't think we ever thought we would enjoy it as much as we do. Our kids are as different as day and night, but we thank god for them. We will crawl in bed at night and giggle about how funny they are. We find ourselves asking 'what did we do for entertainment before??'

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

2 am is for Sleeping!!

Yesterday, turned into a marathon day.

I left work at 1pm to take Rylan to an emergency dental appt. Emergency because his front (baby) tooth looked YUCK. It has been trying to come out, and by yesterday it looked gross.

So I made arrangements to see the dentist and off we went. The final outcome - the dentist pulled the tooth. Right there....ugh! While Rylan is sitting in the chair I am secretly cursing Lance. I HATE the dentist. I have terrible childhood memories of our family dentist. Anyway, Rylan is terrified, you can see it in his eyes. I am trying not to be terrified too......then the dentist brings out the needle. I feel faint, green, sick....ugh. But Rylan is looking at me - I manage a slight smile and we hold hands. (not me and the dentist, me and Rylan).

The needles touches Rylan's gums and he winces, tears begin rolling down his face (big croc tears). UGH. Finally, Rylan is numb, but not after some trauma. Finally the doctor pulls the tooth. My world would have been just fine if never had to see or experience this one....

The needles, the scraping, the crying .... The nurse was polite, she said 'Rylan you did great, and mom not so bad either.' I manage a smile, but secretly I am thinking * I hate you too..

Rylan gets a tiny blue treasure chest to place his newly pulled tooth into. It is for the toothfairy. Rylan's tells the dentist ' I am sure the toothfairy will bring me 15 trillion dollars for this one, I went thru a lot'. I snicker 'Boy, I sure would like to meet your toothfairy. I would lose all of my teeth for the prize.'

Off we go, to the store, to pick up Pyper and then home to begin dinner.

Lance gets home only to report that he will not be working tomorrow. Everything is NOT in order. I am too busy to have that conversation, but it is pending.

I have to leave by 6:30 for night meeting at work. I wish that was code for Happy Hour, but it really is a meeting. The meeting last until 10:30, I am home by 11.

I walk in the door round the corner of the kitchen and peer into the living room. I expect to see Lance asleep on the couch and the kids in bed. But, NO, but peer is met by two pairs of beady eyeballs looking back at me. I am stunned - Lance and Pyper are up watching TV.

Pyper sees me and begins crying. I scoop her up (still in my work clothes), and being rocking her back to sleep. 15 min later, I take her downstairs, place her in her bed and begin looking for Rylans tooth. The toothfairy must do her job before she goes to bed, otherwise it might not get done. I search and search, lifting his head, grabbing the flashlight. I get upstairs and question Lance ' Where is Rylan's tooth??' Lance 'I dont' know, he fell asleep on the couch and I had to carry him down to his bed.' I look in all the familiar places, alias, NO tooth. I am frustrated, but tired. So I go to bed.

At 2am I hear foot-steps upstairs. (Mind you, we ALL sleep down-stairs. ) I roll-over and look at Lance, who is snoring and say 'thank god I don't think some one REALLY broke into our home'. He never even flinches. I drag my butt out of bed and I am met on the stairs by a sniffling 6 yr old - Rylan.

Me ' What are you doing???'

Rylan "I cannot find my tooth, I did not bring it to be with me'

Me ' Where did you have it last?'

Rylan ' on the couch in the cover'

Me (thinking *Of course you did). ' Let's go look'.

We look and there it is a small blue treasure chest with a tooth. Ahh, problem solved.

Rylan gets back in bed, and puts three pillows on his bed *to keep it safe.

Somehow he knocks the tooth off the bed and now it has fallen and the treasure chest opened.


I find the chest but not the tooth. I am getting mad*. This damn tooth has haunted me all day and now it continues to haunt my night.

Rylan beings sobbing. UGH. I run upstairs grab a flashlight, and tell Rylan if you wake your sister up I will KILL you, so shhhh.

I begin search the floor (at 2:30 am) for a tooth. I am cursing under my breath. I cannot find the tooth....I find EVERYTHING but the tooth. Finally, I place a bead in the blue treasure chest and tell Rylan the tooth is safe but *Do Not Open the Chest, for fear we may lose it. I stress again *Do Not Open the Chest ( thinking - because you will freak if you find out it is not really a tooth). Now please go to bed.

I crawl in bed and I am met by small feet and tiny hands - it is Pyper. How in the hell did she end up in my bed. UGH. She is instantly drawn to me, and begins pulling my hair. At 3am, it hurts. I use a 'tone' with her -stop it!! About 10 minutes later I place her back in her bed (where she belongs). At 5:30 Lance gets up, as usual. He wakes me up to ask about the tooth. I sit up ' Are you kidding me....I am tired, figure it out. I was up all night and now you want to wake me up. The gods must be punishing me. Please just find $5.00 and place it under his pillow.

Lance ' how did it end up under his pillow'.

Me 'We were up at 2am. Leave me alone!!'.

Note to self - 2 am is for sleeping........

Monday, September 17, 2007

Monday..part deux

Friday night Lance took me to the Chocolate Barr (martini bar), which was wonderful. We had chocolate Martini's and other assortments of drinks. Then we walked down to eat at Squires - not too bad. Then we walked back to the Chocolate Barr, by this time it was PACKED...people standing outside. We decided to head back towards our home.
It was a nice night, one we both needed.
Misty kept our kids, so we slept in late, then went to breakfast. It was so nice to eat a hot breakfast, and enjoy a cup of coffee.
Then we moved on to picking up 'the kids' - we had big plans for Sat.
We went to the park, then to Hardee's for shakes, then to my place for a bon-fire (hotdogs and smores).

Today is Lance's last day at company A. He will begin Company B tomorrow. We are glad that is over! Now, let's hope Company A will have enough work to keep Lance busy.....
Work for me is status quo........tonight I will be back at 6:30 for our bi-weekly night meeting.
It appears as if we have something scheduled for everyday this week but Wed. My head is already spinning over the booked schedule. I need to find ways to 'cut out ' some of the stuff.
Perhaps a sick day is in order.....
I will post photos soon of our weekend adventure. Later

Friday, September 14, 2007

Um....dear husband, please pick a side.

Lance has been in 'dealings' with a new company. Actually, Lance has not, his boss has been on behalf of himself and Lance.

Lance said to me on Monday "it is 98% for-sure that we are leaving company A and going to Company B. It may be as early as next week'.

I must have looked stunned, because, he continued ' it will all be okay'.

I begin looking for the wine.....* you keep the glass, I will take the bottle please.

I turn around ' what is company A going to say?'

Lance ' who knows,but they prob won't take it well.'

I have a million things running thru my mind all of them along the lines of - ARE YOU NUTS...

But I refrain and simply state ' whatever you decided, I support you'.

(look at me, I am getting this wife thing down pat. That was a very 'wife' thing to say).

*But in my mind I am reminding myself that if I had to carry the household for a month or two I could; he would have to give up smoking and I will need to drink more :) . Then my mind moves on to such notions as - if it got really bad we could just sell the house, down grade cars and start over. I know I have an overactive mind, I get that from my mother. I inherited the 'crazy' gene.

I did not press the issue anymore, I figured when the time came we would talk again.

So last night, Lance returns home from class around 8:20. He walks in with this deer in the headlights look. He states' It is out, they know'.

I feel like I am having a conversation with a CIA agent ' Who knows what?' I ask.

Lance 'You know, the BOSS. They called right after I got out of class to ask me if I was going to leave.'

Me ( my face falls, I feel sick) ' What did you say?'

Lance ' I scrambled, and eventually I said Yeah, maybe. Then they said they would like to talk to me first thing in the morning. '

Me ' Well at least you did not get fired'

Lance ' No, but my boss did - you know the guy that is also going to Company B and taking me with him. Well, they called him too and told him to show up tomorrow ready to turn his stuff in.'

Me 'Oh.'

Lance ' Company A will prob offer me his job'.

Me 'Oh' ( you know I am stunned when I only use one word sentences).

Lance ' that could mean more money etc'

Me (now I have regained my composer) - '
Me - Lance, you and I both know that you made a commitment to your boss that just got fired, and you are going to Company B regardless of the risk.
Aside from that, if you said you are going to Company B, then you are only as good as your word. So put on your game face and be prepared to play ball with Company A.'

Lance 'I know'. (his face portrays internal struggle).

We had pizza and beer last night, and even that did not lighten the mood. Lance barely ate or slept. He woke up at 4:30 this morning, unable to sleep. As he tried to creep out of the bedroom, I whispered ' since you are up so early, you will have plenty of time think about where to take me to dinner tonight, since Misty is keeping our kids'. He laughs lightly (lightly because Pyper is also in our bed).

Around 8am I call him. I cannot stand not knowing what is going on.......

Me ' hey'

Lance ' Hey'

Me 'don't play games with me, what the hell is going on? Are you at work?'

Lance 'Yes, and they offered me the MOON to stay'. Me (thinking) * did you say yes!!! Imagine what I could do with MOON -vacation, shopping etc.

Me ' How did it all fall out?'

Lance ' I told them no, thanks' You can tell he was semi-struggling with that one. The offer must have been really good.

Me ' good job.... does that mean you are working all day, and still have job on Monday?'

Lance ' As far as I know'.

Me ' Well you got paid today, so where are we going to night' *I need a drink.

Lance deflecting the question: 'gotta go, work issue'. click.

To complicate matters - because we are not happy unless there is drama.

I am switching babysitters. The new sitter, just happens to be, Lance's boss's wife. Yeah, the boss that is taking him to Company B and just got fired yesterday.

If I lose my new sitter over this fiasco, I will kill both of them.

So this week I had to break the news to my current babysitter that she will be losing my kids on the 28th. That did not go too well, so I cannot wait for this situation to be over.

While I was bring my kids to their current sitter this morning, we hear a song called 'the booty song' on the radio. It says things like ' big booty, small booty, wide-booty, double wide booty, old booty, tired booty, booty, booty ' You catch the drift.

My son walks into the sitters house singing 'big booty, wide booty' and Pyper is behind him trying to memic the words 'bbyty, bbty' . OMG.

From jobs to butts........what a fulll life we lead. I tell Rylan to sshhh. He gives me that 'why' look, I shoot back the 'because I said so look'.....

I kiss them and head out the door, one foot out the door and I hear Rylan tell the other little boy I heard this song this morning 'big booty, small booty, wide-booty' - giggle, giggle.

OMG. I imagine I will get a call from school today asking me to pick up my son. ;)

Lastly, my children are going to my sisters tonight (thank you). Then tomorrow night I will have her kids, we are planning on having a bon-fire, we will roast hot-dogs and have smores. Yum. Our household will have 6 or 7 kids (depending whether or not Courtney shows up). I have decided to call them the seven dwarfs - it fits them. Our home will be Crazy, but good.....

We don't fear crazy, we invite it!!


Thursday, September 13, 2007

Over the fence.......

Rylan has started talking to the neighbor girl 'Erin' over the fence. Erin lives next door. The whole situation feels very 'Dawson Creek'. They are both 6 yrs old, and at this stage it is 'cute'.

Erin sits on her side of the fence, in her back yard, with her head-phones on, singing Carrie Underwood 'before he cheats'. That seems to be Rylan's que...he hears her squealing outback, and off he goes. He says he needs to water the tomato plants (and he does), but there are double intentions. He sees her, she sees him - and they both light up.

I spy thru the window - (don't judge, you WOULD too).

Erin has two dogs, who are also out-back and Rylan begins playing ball with the dogs over the fence. Then they move on to being silly - Rylan hits himself in the head and Erin laughs. (Dumb boys - it apparently starts early). I ask Rylan all the time ' Why are you hitting yourself.' He never has an answer, but in true girl form, the same action makes his sister squel in joy.

Anyhoo.....Rylan and Erin begin talking, laughing and figuring out who is going to come into who's back yard, so they can play together. I smile inside, it really is too cute.

Suddenly, I hear Erin "Do you have blue toes?'

I see Rylan back away from the fence, he is embarrassed (which is not hard to do....). He does not answer her, he acts pre-occupied with his stick and the hole he is attempting to dig.

Once again Erin in her very girl voice ' You have blue toes' giggle, giggle, giggle.

I too giggle inside. My twelve year old niece Courtney painted them two weekends ago, convincing him they would be COOL. As I stare out the window, I laugh...she is commenting on his toes, never mind that Rylan has a 4 inch Mo-hawk. The toes really are just the beginning.

Finally, Rylan's face is red and he responds 'Yes, and my DAD use to wear Orange.'

(Which is true - Lance had every color under the sun, and would paint them on a regular basis. Ha. ). So there! Rylan is now as cool as his dad. Then Rylan spouts off - 'My dad also has tattoos, my mom has one too'. Erin wrinkles her nose, no brownie points for you.

I am sure any girl who listens to Carrie Underwood, would not appreciate his parents body art.

Rylan moves on quickly ' so, do you want to play ball in your yard or mine'.

Erin, 'in mine, but watch out for dog poop'.

- I found a life lesson in this one 'You can always come over, but watch out for the dog poop.'

We all have a back-yard filled with dog poop of some kind or another. So tread lightly.

Rylan screams from the back yard '!!!

I act busy....I make him come inside. (don't JUDGE!), it is all in good fun.

He stands at the door, bare foot. 'Can I, Can I - go into Erin's back yard and play'.

Me 'Of course you can, but go get some shoes on.'

Rylan ' I don't need shoes'

Me ' Yes, you do. You could step in dog poop. And we don't need it squishing between your toes'. (visual...) ha!

Pyper in the mean time is too interested with the baby pool on the back porch to be interested in her brother and his new friend.

Rylan turns around quickly to shout to Erin ' Getting my shoes, then I will be over'.

She twirls around and acts busy.....

Rylan runs thru the house and grabs the first pair of shoes he sees - slippers.

I stop him 'NO, real shoes! Dog poop - duh!'

Frustrated......he scrambles back into his room. Like Flash Gordon he is back....out the door and in Erin's back yard.

Lance comes home. I motion him to the window, so we can both spy. Yeap, a simple converstaion over the fence turned into backyard play. (very Dawson's Creek - lance rolled his eyes at me).

We call Rylan in for dinner, I hear him say 'Erin see you tomorrow.'

Erin response' Tomorrow we will play in your back yard'.

And so it has begun..........from over the fence.

BTW - good news in our home. Pyper pooped in the potty. Of course it was at dinner time. So in true form, I called everyone into the bathroom to 'see'. ha!

Nothing like trying to eat and talking about poop. A day in the life of the DePew's - Awsome!!!

Monday, September 10, 2007


It is Monday.
The dreaded Monday. For the record (one more time) I HATE Mondays.
My house is a mess, which is surprising, because we did not spend much time in it over the weekend. Actually, I cleaned it prior to leaving Friday morning - so it became dirty Sunday night between 5 and 7pm. SLOBS.
We spent the weekend in the country (again). This trip was not planned, it was fostered by repeated phone calls about how poorly Lance's (step-mom) is doing. Lance and I both decided Thur night to take off work on Friday, and keep Rylan out of school so we could be with his step-mom and family. This effort was not in vain, but perhaps we could have slowed down a bit.

Lance's step-mom, Nancy is dying of double lung cancer and lung disease.
As a personal note this has been very difficult for me to watch. I have not lost alot of people in my life, majority of my grandparents are still alive and my parents are in their mid-fifties.

Lance on the other hand has an aging family, mother, father and siblings. Lance never knew his grandparents (too bad, I am sure he would have loved them!). I have tried to the best of my ability to give Lance the space necessary to deal with issue in his 'own' way.

Nancy is not just his step-mom, she represents so much more. Lance begun to realize how critical Nancy was in molding his life as he got older and started having his own kids. He loves and cares for her deeply. She may never know what a critical role she played in his life. But in his own little way he has tried to 'thank' her and hopes that she too is 'proud' of him.
That being said he needs to realize that 'we' are losing someone very important to us. Nancy is a grandmother to my children (my children adore her) and a great role model and friend to me. We are all losing a very important person in our life.
It has been difficult to watch her wither away. And for all intensive purposes she is withering away. Her mind is strong, but her body is giving out. To date she will make you laugh, make you cry and still give advice. She will even get her walker out and attempt to kick your *arse if you don't mind her.

She is the corner stone in our little world. Her home is welcoming and warm, it is always open to family and friends - even if she is sick. The thought of us not going to her home to see her brings tears to my eyes.
I think we pray for one more day with her, but secretly we pray that she will pass peacefully and without pain. I keep wondering 'why' she fights so hard. Is it her love for Grandpa - whom she clearly loves deeply. Actually, Grandma Nancy found it twice. Her first husband passed years ago - but she still speaks highly and lovingly of him. Her and Lance's dad have been married for 15 plus years. Love twice in a life-time. Not there is a message.
You can still see the two of them look at each other with such intense emotions, you wonder how either one can survive without the other. Perhaps they won't.

Lance does not want to talk about it. Perhaps that is him coping. I sort of need too - I am a talker ( big surprise.). So we are working on finding that balance. I 'think' Lance feels that if he talks about 'it' then 'it (death)' is the reality. Well news flash, it is the reality.

Lance is not interested in his parents stuff, money or photo's - he is trying to suck up as much time and memories as he possibly can. I think he wants too have fond memories of his father and his father's wife. Nancy was so much more than a wife to grandpa - and for that we thank her.
We spent the weekend trying to make her life a bit more comfortable in our own little way. We don't live next door, so it is a bit hectic for us to get down there on short notice. Then once we are down there, we must evaluate the situation and go from there.
You can call on any given day and ask how things are, and the response is always the same 'fine'. Clearly, things are not fine - so stop saying that they are. Grandma and Grandpa have family and friends that live close, but they too seem to be only checking on them on an irregular basis. That realization was heartbreaking. So we tried to do what we could in the meantime without passing judgement on others. We made a few easy meals, and hopefully provided them with an easier way to get to the car. All small notions in the grand scheme of things, but none of it goes un-noticed.

We got home last night around 5pm - barely enough time to get showers, and unpack the car. My children haave been run ragged, slept in strange beds and ate on an irregular schedule. We all pay a price for the small moments.

Lance starts school this week - Tues and Thurs. Another indication of the impact Nancy had on his life. She gave him structure and made him take on the responsibility of a job at a young age (even when he didn't want to). Lance actually resented Nancy for a LONG time. The hopes of seeing his parents back together always sat in the back of his mind. His resentment was followed by anger, drinking and drug use. Nancy in true Nancy form, never pushed herself on Lance and NEVER tried to replace his real mother. She was just there......she treated him as her own. A wisdom and insight that continues to speak volumes. I can sit for hours and have coffee and talk to Nancy. Some of my fondest memories will be of sitting at the round table with a glass of coffee and a good conversation.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007


Okay, so I spent the weekend in Arkansas - we all survived.

Before I move on the My Space issue, I have to send out Kudos to my husband and his brother. While we were gone to Arkansas, they put new floors in my living room and kitchen. The floors are beautiful...I am totally shocked, impressed, and grateful. They worked their butts off, and I wish I could do more to let me know how much I appreciate the effort. My house went from yuckie carpet, and peal-n-stick to nice Oak wood floors. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Okay - so, just as a re-cap. I ended up driving my two kids in my car and following my sister to Arkansas. We left around 7pm - and while we were in the McDonalds drive-thru Pyper puked all over. UGH!. The poor kid got too hot prior to leaving and so it had to come up. We were only 1/2 into our trip and now my ride smelled like puke. The gods must be punishing me......

I cleaned her up, changed her clothes, used 80% of the baby-wipes - because it was GROSS. I kept thinking ' it is not too late to turn around and go home. Puking is not a good way to start'. But I kept on....for the sake of family and a photo.

Around 10pm we stopped an filled up. I get in the car and now it smells like gas. What the hell! Now my car has the distinct oder of puke masked by gasoline. Apparently, the gas station had gas all over the pavement. I thought for a single moment my sister was trying to sabatoge me. I left her standing by the car while the gas pumped and I went into pee. It could have been the perfect joke. But she said her car stunk too....

Nothing like a little gasoline and Starbucks to help you make the next 2 1/2 hours fly by.

We arrived in Arkansas around midnight - I was welcomed by my mother. Yeah, the sick woman felt it necessary to meet me outside and help me get into my room. Secretly, I thank her for her help, but please don't breath on us ;).

The room had two double beds - Rylan grabbed one bed, and snuggled up in the middle. I questioned ' Is your sister sleeping with you?'


Then I asked ' Are we all sleeping together?"


Me - 'Are you planning on taking up that whole bed?

A big grin from Rylan ' Yes, and goodnight. I am tired'.

I wrangle Pyper into the other bed with me.....I am half jealous of Rylan. I had planned to put both of them in the same bed, and I was going to get the other bed all to myself. No such luck. Rylan woke up like a King. He was sprawled out had pillows under his head and on each side.

I on the other hand, slept the night leech. Pyper is insistant on sleeping next to me and finding my hair while she sleeps. This night was no different. I am sure I have a bald spot in the back. She finds a strand of hair and insist on running her little sausage like fingers thru it, all the while she is nesltled up under my chin.

Sat morning comes early ..... 5:50 am early. I walk next door, knock and once the door opens I push Pyper in the door way and stumble back to my room to get a few more hours of sleep. My mother keeps her company for a bit.

Around 9:30 are all at Matthews..............COFFEE. Note to self - there is a Starbucks next to the hotel. SCORE.

While at Matthews I learn that he lives in a DRY county. What? Are you for real? Did you really invite 15 of your relatives to a DRY county. OMG. All together Matthew has 19 people at his house - this includes his family.

Becareful who you invite, because we travel in packs.

Around 11 - the girls load up the kids and take them to Sears for a photo shoot. 10 kids and a photo shoot. 10 kids ages 1 to you can imagin it was a ZOO. The lady really should have charged double!

In the meantime the men load up and go to Matt's work and get BEER. Guess what - I don't drink Beer.

I am informed that they have Margaritas and other spirits - I begin to calm down.

After Sears we are up for some food and drinks. (Of Course!).

Dry county - who every heard of such a thing.

During the day, I find out that everyone - but me has a Myspace account. What!

I thought Myspace was for YOUNG kids - mind you Matthew is older than me.....

I started this blog in an effort not have to go to Myspace, but I am feeling the pressure. I think this week I am going to break down and do the Myspace thing. Do you know how many people I can stay in touch with.

Of course you know - the general population knows. No one bothered to clue me in.

I saw accounts for - Joey, Matthew, Ronnie, John, Paul, etc. It seemed endless.

I had to cut my evening short on Sat - I could not get Pyper to sleep in the house that holds 20 people. So we packed up and went the hotel. Rylan on the other hand got to stay the night. We left bright and early on Sunday - around 9am. The kids for all intensive purposes did great - it really was a LONG trip for such a short time.

Courtney rode back with me for a bit - my parents took her out of my car after I passed them for going to SLOW. Who travels at 70 mph? My dad.....I am sure if they could they would have taken my kids too -ha!

Did I mention that once my mom had a drink or two she suddenly started feeling better?

Imagin that.


Nieces & Nephews and Kids...