Monday, September 24, 2007

Smuck*

I am the smuck this time. This weekend was spent running around like a mad-man, dragging my kids from one event to another. I say 'dragging' as if they did not enjoy it all, they had a great time. Although we could have done without the 90 degree weather.


We drove down to the country Friday night - getting out of the house alive was an achievement. I have been in a MOOD lately. I am super stressed....and it showes. I have been biting everyone head off and feeling as if I could explode at any moment. Friday evening was no different. Pyper is in a clingy stage, she is driving me NUTS.


She does not know whether she is coming or going. For example -She stands in front of the fridge and grunts (that is code for open the door). I open the door she proceeds to pull out the crisper (we designate one crisper to kids snacks), she then gets a cheese stick and holds it in the air. I proceed to unwrap the cheese stick, and this simple notion sends her into a fit. I am standing there perplexed and half frustrated. I try to hand her the cheese stix, this is met with an intense 'no,no'...so I set it on the table and walk away. This action is met with rage from her, she beings grabbing my leg and crying. (Gawd child..)I try to pick her up, she does not want to be picked up, I try to smooth her hair, she does not want me to touch her. (GAWD). FINE, I make my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth - she follows behind sounding like a bat that just lost a wing. I turn around to meet her stare, she is approx 3 feet from me, she looks right at me and throws the cheese stix at me and then throws herself on the ground in a rage. I am at a loss and half humored - she threw the damn thing right at me. I tell her no, which make matters worse - (I think who cares, she is already upset). I tell her 'NO' and place her on the couch (I think in one of those books I read, you are suppose to remove the child from the situation. And since I could not place her on the front step with a sign that read 'take me'. I figured the couch was the next best place). This is just one example of her latest mood.


Friday evening while trying to get packed was not any different. She loved to hate me that evening. Pick me up.. no, don't pick me up....feed me....no, don't feed me. I hate this stage in child development. While this transpires, Lance and I continue to have words. I figure I am on a roll, why should Pyper be the only one to *Enjoy my latest mood. Apparently, I am not happy unless I spread the attitude. I think I yelled at everyone at least once. We load up the car and begin our trek down to the country. For the most part we are all silent. The kids watch a movie and I begin to read a book. We arrive in the country around 8pm. My mood has not changed. My mind is packed with stress ( kids, work, travel, bills etc). Pyper was a bear on Friday night, I am convinced she is nocturnal, bats are nocturnal (she sounds like one dying on occasion). She was officially up at 5am...Lance is also up, but Pyper is not happy unless I am up too. She continues to come into the room where I am trying to sleep and pesters me for hours ( I tried to sleep until 8am). She squeals like a bat, she turns on the light, she climbs on the bed and pulls my hair. So once again my 'mood' is still there. I am cursing Lance...can't he keep this child entertained for an hour so I can sleep. I am in a *Whatever mood. I get up, drink 1/2 cp of coffee and grab a shower. I get the kids dressed and we are out the door by 9:30 am. Mind you Lance stayed home, to do home work (that is code for doing NOTHING with out the kids).

I took the kids to the courthouse and to breakfast - they were good. Then we go back to pick up Lance and head to the park - where the battle re-enactment is taking place. Nothing like 90 degree weather, cannons, horse poop and guns to brighten my day. We spend 5 hours in the sun watching the battle and roaming around the booths. I bring the back-pack to lug Pyper around in....thinking the stroller would be too bulky. Guess what *today my back hurts (duh).

Around 5pm, I see my mother among the madness and she lets me know that Pyper has been in the sun too long and will prob be *So sun burnt the she will have blisters.

I am thinking to myself - *what. If you ever WONDER where I get my drama from, all you to do is meet my mom. Blisters - ha!! I maybe winging it as a parent, but I am hardly negligent. She was hot, and had some sun, but blisters. ha! I can hear the story now in the tax office 'Beenie was down and had those kids out all day without sunscreen. Poor, Pyper was suffering. ' I giggle just thinking about the life this story will get. Perhaps DCS will show up with sunblock. (now I am just being bitter). We pack up our kids around 5pm - put them in a cool bath and then drag them down to a local bar/rest to get some food. They play on the patio and I two glasses of wine -much needed. Then when we are leaving the restaurant the guys decide we need to go BACK to the fort to watch them 'blow' it up. Because that will be cool. *NO!.

I am in heels - I went to dinner - not major heels. But these shoes are not conducive to walking around the fort in the grass. My mood is once again BACK!.

We arrive at the fort at 8pm. Lance gets beer, I am sure he is feeling *fine. I am carrying Pyper and trying not to sink in the grass. Frustrated! We miss the blast, because we were at the beer garden. They decided to walk around looking at things. At 8:30 I get the keys and hike back to the car with Pyper is tow. She is cold, worn out and DONE. By this time I am also DONE.

Lance and I have a stupid fight. It was so stupid that neither of us were will to admit it was stupid or we were wrong. So the fight escalated, he yelled, and even stopped in the middle of the road. I tease him, *like stopping in the middle of the road is suppose to make a point?

This make him more mad. Which was kind-of my point. Once we get back to the house, we keep our distance. I spend another evening wrestling with the Pyper the night time bear. OMG.

Sunday morning, I am CRANKY. I could KILL someone. First I yell at the kids then I move on the Lance. Why, because he SUCKS. Good morning.

Around 9:30am, Lance and I say a few polite words to each other. It is our 7th year anniversary, we could try to be polite. I go to the car and get his card and cuff links. Happy Anniversary I manage to spit out. He stands up reads the card, and opens his cuff links.

I figured that was it. Moment over.

Boy was I mistaken. He walks over to me, with these moist eyes. I am thinking * the card was not that good. He reaches in his pocket and hands me a small red box with a ribbon. I think * he did not forget. How nice, I am sure it is a pair of earrings. I open the box prepared to find earrings. And there it is ****it is beautiful. I close the box, and tell him we cannot afford to do this. I am sitting down and crying. It is a new ring. Mind you weeks ago I lost my wedding ring, well here it is my ring only upgraded. Upgrade is an understatement. This is a whopper. We really cannot afford this. I don't know what to say, I think about what a smuck I have been and I begin crying more. I tell Lance we cannot do this, not now. He responds 'it will never be a good time, and you deserve it'. Grandma Nancy pipes in "see Michelle, you are so special'. I manage a mek 'thankyou....I love you'. I am afraid to touch it.

Damn him. I am so impressed with him I cannot stand it. He actually took my ring weeks ago, and went to the jeweler and had it all taken care of. Who knew? Regardless of the ring, the whole theory was well thought out and so very deep for us. I am speechless. I am impressed.



Back to the ring, I don't think I can keep it. It really is too much. I talk to him about it last night, he tells me not to worry. I tell him 'it is foolish to spend our money on this'. He smiles and said 'I am a fool.' So there he sits once again with my heart in his hands. It is not the ring or the money, it is sense of commitment I felt right then. I could not sleep last night, I am not sure how we will pay for this thing. He assures me things will be fine. This ring cost more than his truck. It is foolish. I am afraid, but confident. I thought about taking the ring back to the jeweler and asking for a down-grade. Then I thought, I would not insult Lance in that manner. He will make it work, I trust that. I told him last night, ' I do not want to the cost of this ring to cause money issues between us. I don't want the stress of that, too. ' He smiled ' Michelle, take the damn ring, shut up and wait and see.'

I am sure he feels with this new company and the job he will have OT and a great opportunity. So here we go, Lance his new job and me and my ring. Feet first or nothing at all. Failure is not a option. I love you and thank you for your thoughtfulness. We could lose it all tomorrow and still be strong. But in the meantime my finger will sparkle -ha!!

I pray that everyone gets and opportunity to have a moment like that - one where someone else paid enough attention to you to give you a foolish moment.

7 years later, a house, two cars, two kids and jobs - we are living the american dream. 7 years later, a best friend, a lover, a father, a son, a brother and a husband. With love from your wife- Michelle

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