Friday, June 27, 2008


So DID Lance remember my birthday?
Well, yes and no. More NO than yes.
Mind you I reminded him Saturday - that is why I had a girls night out. And I reminded him Tuesday - again. So how could he forget by Wednesday - because he sucks!
I called him twice on Wednesday, to check in - as usual. We talked about him picking up the kids, and what he would cook for dinner - normal stuff.
He said he was cooking spaghetti, clear sign that he 'forgot' it was my birthday. Aside from the fact that he never said 'happy birthday'.
I get home around 5pm, and I see a cake hidden (not very well) behind the coffee pot. Yes, it is a small round cake. ha! I giggle to myself...that is him winging it.
I bring in the flowers and necklace the lady in my office bought me. And flat out ask him if he forgot, he grins sheepishly, and replies 'yes. until Pyper reminded me by saying 'cake'.' He continues ' we were right at the top of the subdivision, and Pyper starts rambling and she is saying 'cake, cake', that was when it hit me, that it was your birthday.'
I laugh out loud. 'I knew you forgot.'
I go to give Pyper a bath, and while she is in the bath Lance has Rylan sign the last minute card he pick-up from Shop-n-Save. After dinner we attempt to cut into the half frozen cheese cake - also pick-up from Shop-n-Save.

*Here is the kicker - he got me a silver charm bracelet from K-Mart. I told him I wanted earrings from K-Mart (their Silver dept is ALWAYS on sale). Instead, I get a charm bracelet with household items as charms. I laughed when I saw the charm in the shape of a coffee pot and iron. If I didn't laugh at him, I would kill him.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Plus one...

Today I get to add one more candle to my birthday cake, I am 33.
So the story goes.....
33 yrs ago my father was given the opportunity to name me.

My mother was 17 when she had my brother, and she named him. At 19, she knew my brother could not be an only child - so I entered the world. I 'think' around 11am in the morning.

The story is told that my father named me *Michelle*, without much hesitation. My mother waited for the rest, he looked at her as if to say, 'what else do you want?'

My mother waited for my middle father looked around the room, acted thoughtful and then said Rose, we will call her Michelle Rose Bates. My father must have been rather pleased with himself, which sent my mothers red flags up, and after he left she gave the entire situation additional thought.

She says she was looking around the room, noticed the box of maxi pads on her hospital tray and it listed all of the months and their flowers. I was born in June, and the flower is a rose - ta-da!

My fathers epiphany, was not an epiphany at this day, my mother likes that story.

I am not sure if she likes because it makes my father look like fool or because my name came off a maxi pad box. Which is funny, but tacky at the same time.

Thank you to everyone who has sent a v/m, email or text.


Last night Lance is walking around the kitchen and states, "I really want some cake."
I reply ' well just wait and pick one up tomorrow.'
Him (dead serious) 'What is tomorrow?'
Me 'It is my b-day, we should have cake'.
Him (totally stunned) - 'It is already your b-day...i totally forgot.'
Me - Imagin that....
We will see what tonight brings.......
I am blessed, I wear a smile today and thank god for the people in my life.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Anyone home? (at 3:30 in the morning???)

Well, we rented a room at the Casino / hotel. This is Rachel and I BEFORE everything went awry. As a disclaimer, I LUV this girl. We have been friends since kindergarten, she knows everything about me and still loves me anyway.
As usual when we go out, we had the buddy system. If one girls leaves, we both leave - it does not matter where or when. We skip to the bathroom, holding hands and smiling.

Here we are in the Bottle Neck Blues Bar. L-R (Misty (sister), Me, Rachel and Angie). We are ready to have an adult good time and SO glad we do not have to drive.

I am puker, it is a known fact. My husband would have expected nothing less. And Rachel, also knows that I am a pucker. So at midnight, after my second shot of god knows what, I had to excuse myself. Hand in hand Rachel and I made our way to our hotel room, and like a great friend, she held my hair while I was folded over the toilet. Then I made my way into my PJ's and found a soft bed. I was out from midnight until 4:30 am.
Rachel being the good friend that she is had to document the night.

Between midnight and 4:30 am, Rachel stayed in the room with me. We had a cooler full of drinks, so she occupied her time with a few adult beverages. Misty and Angie came in around 2am, and then went to gamble. Joey and Scott came in to check on us, and then Joey left and Scott stayed. Scott, a 26 yr old single guy, spent his time hitting on Rachel. Rachel told him to shove it, and continued drinking. Drink, after drink after drink......
Someone told Rachel that Misty and Angie left, as in left the building to drive and go home. Rachel decided that she needed to 'find' them. She found MY cell phone and started scrolling thru the list of names in an attempt to get someone to help her find my sister.
It appears that she also thought she lost me, mind you I was 20 ft away from her snuggled in the bed.
She called Lance - who didn't get the home phone.

She called my mother (3 times), and left her a v/m. The v/m went something like this ' Denise, I am the room looking for Michelle and Misty. Michelle is lost and Misty is headed home.'

She called a person in my phone under the name 'Chris' - I find out she thought Chris might be a boy, so she called him. Chris, is the lady in my office - who works for me. She called Chris three times as well.

*She continued to scroll thru my phone and found the name Chief. She 'thought' multiple things when she saw this name:
One, perhaps it is the guy from Black River we all refer to as Chief.
Two, it is a cooky name in my phone for my Dad (note my father is listed under 'dad').
Three, she calls it at 4am and it is the Chief of police for the city I work for. Yes ladies and gentlemen my drunk friend called the Chief of police to let him know that I was missing and my sister may be driving home. OMG!!!

This is about the time I wake up. I hear Rachel telling Misty, who just walked in the door that she was on the phone with the Chief. Misty is laughing and I am swimming and trying to wrap my head around the what is going on.
I begin to yell at Rachel, for having my phone, and then for scrolling thru it calling people. I should have known better than to yell at a drunk person....she replies with don't yell at my it is no worse than your hubby calling the mayor a cocksucker. You will get over it.

Rachel is glad that everyone is back, and now she decides to entertain us for about an hour. Scott is passed out on the couch, and Rachel decides to rub her butt in his face claiming 'you wanted this, and you ain't gonna' get any.' This sends all of us into hysterics. She continues to entertain us with her shenanigans for the next 45 minutes.

We wake up around 9am, because Rachel's hubby was calling her. We make our way down to get some coffee and gamble for about an hour. While we are gambling my mother decides to phone me. I elbow Rachel ' damn, it is my mom - WHAT did you say to her??'
Rachel ' I don't know??'
I open the phone and meekly state 'uh, hi - mom.'
Mom ' glad to see you are okay. I am so proud of Rachel for being the good little mama and looking out for you girls.'
By now I am elbowing Rachel and rolling my eyes. Letting her know that my mother THINKS she did a good job. Oh MY Gosh....are you kidding me. Rachel appreciates the kuddo's and we giggle about the nights events. I win $30.00 on a machine I don't know how to play and we wrap it up.
I had a great time out with these girls, I laughed so hard I cried. I had to do MAJOR damage control on Monday, because Rachel called alot of people - ha!!!
Next time, word for the wise - hide your phone.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Blogger meeting:

Here is the next meeting.....if I cannot swing a sitter, the hubby will stay home with kids.

update on my weekend coming shortly.....

Friday, June 20, 2008


Here are the kids yesterday, feeling poorly.

After dinner, Lance plays with the kids while I pick up. Last night, everyone was feeling better and ready to have some fun. This was just the beginning of them running around. It is nice to see them all smile again.

This series notes how my husband refuses to get rid of things. We set the pool aside last year, in order to use it again this year for the kids. Well, as you can see it is being used, BUT not in the way it was intended. It is also surrounded by the landscaping rocks that Lance HAD to have, but has done nothing with. This is how the people in Jeffo Co go swimming - ha!
I don't know about your kids, but my kids can have a great time with items I 'think' are useless. This pool is useless, but somehow they have decided it is their next new toy (or nap location).
It will make its way to the trash pick-up for next week.
The kids are feeling better, and I will make it to work for 1/2 a day.
Bun, I hope you can swing a sitter for Saturday night, I would luv to see you. Farrell, have a safe trip - and keep us posted on your adventures.
Signing off for now!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Is it over?

I have been mending sick kiddo's....
Tuesday I took Rylan to the Walgreens doc-n-a-box, because our doctor is on vacation. I knew he had swimmers ear, so I thought it would be a no-brainier. Just issue me some ear drops and send us on our way. PLEASE. The kid was in pain Monday night, woke me up at 3:30 in tears because it hurt so bad. I gave him some pain med, and a heating pad and sent him back to bed. That seemed to hold him over until we could get in at 8am.
The doc gave us some ear drops, while giving the doc Rylan's medical history I stressed he is cleft and he has tubes. The doc states, I cannot see his tubes, but his ears are infected. He issued me drops, I went to get them filled and we waited for the relief.
Today is Thursday and STILL no relief.
Well, let's back up. I get home last night around 4:30 and Pyper is alseep. Warning flags go up, this is not like her. Lance states ' the sitter says Pyper started running a low fever around 2pm, and was clingly.'
I called the sitter to confirm. I go to check on Pyper around 5pm and she is burning up -her temp is 103.4. I freak out. I start taking her clothes off, trying to give her a water cup and trying to get Motrin down her. Once the Motrin kicks in, she feels better - even good enough to eat. She ate all of her dinner and 'seemed' to be feeling fine. But I knew her feeling better was only masked by the Motrin. Around 11pm, I check on her again - the fever is back. Another dose of Motrin and she is back to sleep. 3:30 am - Rylan is up crying his ear hurts and Pyper is crying and just ick.
I decide that I would take them BOTH to Urgent Care first thing in the morning. I mean for real, it is Thursday - Rylan's ears should be feeling better.
We arrive at Urgent Care today at 9am - we are not seen until 11:30. OMG.
Then it takes the doctor another 45 minutes to get to our room. The kids are about to kill each other and tear up the room. FINALLY the doctor comes in, and she is confused to see two charts. She states 'SO, which child am I going to see?'
Me ' Actually, both children are here because they are sick.'
Long story short, her attitude sucked - but I got over it. Pyper has strep throat and the drops that the doc-n-the-box gave us CANNOT be used on kids with tubes.
Both of my kids have had two doses of antibiotics and seem to be feeling better, but it was a long road. It felt like forever this morning, into the afternoon. We did not get home until 1pm, by the time we saw the doctor, had the prescriptions filled (all 3 of them), and got home.
Lance got home around 4(ish) and I left around 4:30 to go to work to get a few items off my desk. I am praying for a little relief tonight. Praying that the kiddo's are feeling better.
It really burns my arse that I told that damn doctor that my son had tubes in his ears and he gave us ear drops that are not suppose to be used. UGH.
As a child I had terrible ear-aches, so I can feel for the kid. I cannot even touch the side of his face, it hurts too bad. On top of it all, he was suppose to be at camp this week and next. Well, he has missed it this week due to his ears - we are praying he can make it next week.
Lastly, we are planning a 'girls' night out this Saturday. Getting room at the Ameristar Casino Hotel and jamming out to Joe Dirt. Girls only - my sister, my best friend, my baby sitter, and anyone else who cares to join us. We are getting a room so we don't have to drive.
Lance is keeping the kids - he is acting sort of put off, but he will be okay! If you are free we would love to see you....all you need is an overnight bag.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Father's Day (late)

I was thinking about all of the 'men' in my life (no not like that!). There have been alot of men that have contributed to my notion of a father, these men include - my own father, my grandparents, and my uncles.

When I break it all down all of these men have one thing in common, they all work manual labor. Mechanics, auto body, construction, carpentry, farming, etc.

You can tell by their face and hands that they put in a hards day work, they are the gentle giants of my world. Their tempers are weathered, and are only soothed by a good woman and a stiff drink. They have a sense of macho-ism about them that warms me to my soul and infuriates me at the same time. They like to walk into a restaurant with 'you' on their arm, they like that other men find you attractive, but get pissed when anyone acts on it. They have an angry streak that will put holes in walls and total cars. Then they have a loving streak that will take your breath away. They work daily to a produce a product that can be touched, admired and stand for something. They like to party as hard as they play. For the most part, I don't think most of them thought they would live past 30, and now that they have they don't know what to do. They love being an American, and don't mind getting blisters and hitting hard times - they have prepared for hard times.

These men helped form my opinion of 'men', and what a man should be and should act like. My world has never really been exposed to the typical 'office' man, or a man who wore a suite everyday. The men in my life, husband included, would rather die than sit at a desk all day.

If you were to speak to my brother and sister about my father, we would each tell you a different version of the man. I cannot not begin to speak for them, so I will tell you mine.

I measure every man I meet in this day and age by my father. He is big in stature, small with words, and even less giving with his attention. Do not want from this man, because he only gives when you are least looking. You must notice the small things, because he is not out to knock your socks off, or talk your ear off. He will not call to mend a broken heart, or smooth over the latest drama. He will not shower you with love and affection, nor with gidgets and gadgets. His conversations are brief and you will feel slightly slided if your expectations are too high. But he will provide you with the safest two arms to fall into, and the biggest hands to hold in a time of need. He does not do funerals, or sadness - he would rather drink, and wait for the pain to end. But he will give you a small shoulder squeeze, and a soft kiss on the cheek - which says 1000 I luv you's. He will realize he missed his children growing up, but hope that they understand why he was gone. And now that I am raising my own children, I completely understand. He will love his grandchildren with a love he didn't he had in him, and that makes my childhood complete. If you want to catch him on a good day, then put on your boots and your sunscreen and join him in the yard / field. He will speak freely after a few too many beers, and talk of his childhood, his adolescences, and the wonders of the world. He loves traveling on his motorcycle, with only my mother. He loves her deeply and hates to share her with anyone or any thing. They are at their best when they are traveling for the summer on the Harley.
I do not wear any rose colored glasses when I view my father or any of the men in my life, I see them for who they are. I am not stopped in my tracks by their short-sightedness. I love them the same none the less..........
I married a man alot like my father. I had every intention on trying to 'change' him. Luckily, I did not have too....because even I know it would never work. My husband is a hard worker, and his body will give out on him before his time. His lungs will not out last the 2 packs of cigarettes he exposes them to everyday. His hands, knees and back will not withstand the hours of manual labor he inst upon. He is instructed daily to leave his smokes and mouth at the door - this code for NO smoking inside and no cursing. He follows those rules like a champ. He loves our little life with such a level that even surprises him. As an adolescence, his choices were really limited - grow up and get it together or go to prison. Either path was well within his reach. He choose to try marriage and kids, and have grown to love it - even more than the drinking and drugs that seemed so appealing once in his life. He gave up traveling road, because he missed his bed, his wife and his kids. He is alot like my father, I know why I choose him. One of the smartest things I ever did was choose this man to be my husband. He deserves a day dedicated to him. He deserved a day to relish in getting right, and making it work. Happy Fathers Day!
Love Beenie (everyone I know calls me that).

Friday, June 13, 2008

Speaking code...

There was a time in our life when we could just spell words and our kids would not get them.
Such as, Rylan is T-I-R-E-D and hubby and I would nodd and get him to bed. Now that Rylan is 7 (going on 14), he is reading and spelling like a champ.
The last time I said Rylan is T-I-R-E-D ; he responded with 'I am not tired, I want to stay up.' Or when I would need to sneak to the store (because it is easier than bringing kids), I would spell 'G-O-I-N-G' and the usual nodd would happen and I would attempt to sneak out. Now Rylan states 'Where are you going? Can I come?' Which inevitably sends Pyper to find her shoes, and I end taking both kids to the store rather than going alone.
If hubby and I wanted to get 'friendly' after the kids went to bed, we would spell out words, and nodd in agreement. We have stopped spelling, bottom line.

Now we have resorted to speaking code, and that goes something like this (last night).
We are in the kitchen, Lance is making dinner, I am getting a drink - Rylan is at the table reading a book and Pyper is searching in the fridge. Bottom line, we are ALL in the same room. I look over at hubby and state ' sister flow is coming to visit, so if you want to schedule an appointment. It must be tonight.' (this is code for getting friendly, and PMS).
Hubby looks over, cocks a smile, and nodds in agreement.

Rylan on the other hand looks up and states ' you don't have a sister named Flow. Your sister's name is Misty. Who is flow??' I blush, and half giggle - how do I answer this.....
Lance responds 'flow is a nun, hence the sister, and I need to see her so I can confess all of my deep dark secrets.'
Rylan ' can I get an appointment?'
Lance 'no, not until you get older, she only makes appointments after 10pm.'
Rylan seemed satisfied with that answer and went about his reading.
I on about to fall over - this kid is witty, smart, and going to give me a run for my money.
Last night I need to go to dollar general, one because I luv that place, and two because I was out of razors, diapers and deodorant. *I used Lance's yesterday, and smelled like a man - I figured it was better than smelling like BO.
I take Pyper, because she will not let me leave the house without her. Rylan decides he wants to go, even though I told him he was not allowed to get ANYTHING. While we are there he asked for some deodorant as well. That struck me as funny, but he stated that he is out the Axe stuff his nana bought him for x-mas. Ohh. I want to tell him no, but then I decide what will it really hurt? He picks up four different kids and starts smelling each one of them, before he finally settles on one. While on the way to car, he asked me if I wanted to smell. Against my better judgement I agreed to. As he brought it up to my nose, he accidentally slide it across my upper lip - GROSS. All I could smell for the next two hours was man smell. He was putting in under his arms as I loaded the bags, there he is 7 going on 14. At least he won't be a stinky 14 yr old.
So tell me how do you deal with speaking 'around' your children?
Do you use code, spelling or some other method - that might be helpful???
Happy early father's day. I am hoping to get a father's day post out later (or tomorrow).
We are going to the country tonight, and staying with Lance's 78 yr old dad. I am going to miss the Guild meeting, but his dad really needs us to spend sometime with him. There are some discussions and decisions to be made this weekend. Keeping my fingers crossed that everything goes well.
Have great Guild meeting, and I would love an update.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Random Thursday..

Last night Rylan stayed at a friends house, so we had Pyper. We went to a local Mexican rest, Pyper hammed it up with some unknown locals. I tell her it is time to go, (she is standing next to table of two couples) she kisses each one of them good-bye. This child does not know a stranger - I almost fell over.

Drove to Costco last night to pick-up 4lbs of shrimp for Fathers's Day. They do not get the delivery until Friday -GRRRRR!
Picked up wine instead. (smile).
This lady at work is about to get 'whacked' up side the head. She is a Secretary, and she finds it necessary to tell me how to do my JOB. How does one 'politely' tell her to shut her PIE hole? Perhaps I could stuff it donuts?
I broke down this morning and bought a coffee at Starbucks. It was GREAT!!!
Any ideas what to get o'l hubby for Fathers Day (on the cheap side?).
Already, this week I have seen my OB and the dentist. I hate normal 'women' maintenance appointments. And when did the medical world decided that a women needed a mammogram starting at 30? I thought it was 40(ish)......
BTW, nothing worse than your OB, doing the exam - and wanting to have small talk.
We have a 26 yr old officer at work who has cancer (testicular, stomach, liver) - he was just in the office. He looks good, his spirits are high and he finished his last cycle today. The whole city is rallying around this guy.........

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

River -haunts me!

Dear gosh, my car smells like garbage. Why you may ask - because apparently the cooler plug came off and the water drained into my car / at the same time the lighter fluid also leaked into my car.
Guess who was in charge of packing the car and sealing these items - dear ol'hubby. I called him at lunch today, stating 'my car (trailblazer) STINKS!!'
Apparently, my spare tire has a compartment in the bottom of my trunk rather than on the side. Which equals a pool of YUCK - because the cooler water and lighter fluid are resting next to the tire iron.
*Only, I didn't know I had a pool of YUCK, until it started growing hair, feet and arms. It is the type of smell that burns your nose hairs.
I think I smell like garbage, you know how smells 'stick' to you. Sort of like being in a smoky barr - only I am in a stinky carr. ugh.
Secondly, last night I tell my hubby that I am still carrying my extra 10 lbs from having Pyper - mind you she is 2(two). He states 'well, if you would quit eating those late night snacks, you could lose it.' Mind you, it is 10pm and he is sitting in his recliner with a carton of ice-cream between his legs. Not a bowl of ice-cream - the damn carton.

I envision myself smashing his head into the carton. But, wanting to avoid any further aggravation with him, I flip him the bird and go to bed. Here is the kicker - I dreamt about ice-cream, I woke up thinking about ice-cream. grrrr.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Ahhh, the river.

The boys set up a tent to camp. The girls spent the night at my mom's. *Maybe next year, I will try to camp with Pyper.

Lance cooling off. With the help of Pyper.

Words not needed! The kids LOVED it!

Poor tadpoles. Pyper squished one of them, she is still learning how to be 'soft'. We did 'round up crawfish, tadpoles and small fish to bring back to my dad's pond. Happy Father's day....on the cheap side.
We had a great weekend at the river. My kids are totally worn out - they are still trying to recover. Sleeping like rocks for the last two nights. *Happy to report no one got sun-burnt.
One more thing, if you get time - head over to 'little bald doctors' the mom is feeling down and could use some words of encouragement.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Bob, Barb, David & Denise - where are you??

And I thought I was too old to use a *fake name at the barr.
I also thought I was too old to stay out until 2am on a work night. Well, apparently last night I regressed.

Lance and I *had* a game plan, prior to leaving we agreed, we would leave the benefit prior to 11pm and get home in time for bed and work. Well, as usual we got caught up in the moment - enjoyed ourselves and by the time 11 o'clock rolled around we not ready to go home. We thought out loud 'why go home, the kids are in the country until Saturday - and we will be able to get up tomorrow.'

All I can say is - bad idea!!! We should have stuck to the game plan.

The benefit went well, everyone seemed to have a good time and money was raised. Plus, for me personally, I had friends and family around - so I was happy. The friends that I invited all won some sort of prize - from a BIG bottle of wine (5 liters) to cards tickets. I laughed, ate, danced and drank. For real, what could be better??

As we were leaving, in the parking lot our friends ask to con't going out. And since they live 1/2 mile from us, we would just go some place close to home. This is where the night went wrong.

We decided on a place that is a hole in the wall...picture this.
The owner of the bar went to h.s with the girl we are with, and he is on stage playing guitar and singing a BAD version of the song freebird. The version that makes your ears bleed, unless of course your drunk girl and dancing in hot pants in front of this man. You know the girl, with waist long hair - that by the end of the night is swinging her head around in front of the guitar, so her hair is one way and her butt is another. The bar has several pool tables, which are full - and one girl playing pool is actually in her pj's. SWEAR. She has on pink/plaid flannel pants, a pink tank top and slippers. She is flirting with the Harley-Davidson reject - you know the one that thinks he still needs to wear his riding gloves even though he has been off his bike for 4 hours.

This is the place we choose to continue our night. Last time we were here, we got kicked out. Some guy was looking at my butt, Lance got in his face and we got kicked out.

We walk in - 4 of us (us and another couple). And we see the guy is at the bar. The same guy that Lance had words with. Lance gives him the hairy-eye ball, and the guys ignores him.
I, on the other hand, cannot help but to make fun of the girl dancing. Hence, she sees me. But she is too drunk to realize i am making fun of her - she thinks I am inviting her over to dance and/or talk. I am mortified, and trying to recover; because I don't want to throw down with drunk girl.

Lance tells her that we are all swingers, and we all left our spouses at home so we could all go out with each other. The other girl in our group, tells drunk girl, that we are together. 'Because girls really do know how to treat each other right.' OMG.

The drunk girl goes around the table and begins to ask for names....I hear my name is Bob (lie!), Barb (lie) - and Lance says his name is - David, so I throw out Denise.
Here I am 30 plus years old - using a fake name. I thought those days were over.
The conversation got worse from there, it turned foul and I had to shut it down. Gasp* I left Denise and her personality at the door, and got in the car as Michelle.
This morning we slept thru the alarm, scrambled like crazy heads to get out the door. Thank god for Tylenol and coffee. Now all I need is alittle sleep.
*I am missing my kids, and cannot wait to see them.
Tonight, we will not be too aggressive - perhaps dinner and a movie from blockbuster.
Still planning on camping on Saturday. I will have photos to share from our camping trip.
Have a good weekend!!

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Never Dull.....

I thought last night would be smooth and easy transition, but apparently the kids took an extra dose of 'crack'. All 6 of them were terrors - and we had to drive 1 1/2 hours south. DEAR GOD!!
I made it to my sisters in record time - 5:30pm. We loaded up the van, only this load was an extra load. It had 6 kids, 6 over night bags, two adults and a pool from Sams. That's right, a big pool from Sams for my mother. In order to load the kids and pool, we took out the middle seats, put the pool and 3 kids on the floor. *I know, they should be in seats and have belts - next time, I swear. (My mother requested the pool due to the fact that it was going to be so damn hot, and it would give the kids something to do.)
So, the three little kids get buckled in the back seat and the three older kids gather on the floor around the pool. We stop at McDonald's to grab dinner - *because we are AWSOME parents.
We make 45 minutes down the road and they are still hungry; we stop at another McDonald's to get more food. There should be a law against this!
The kids fight, argue, then get wired on the McDonald's. The sound of the Alvin and the Chipmunks movie in the back round is not enough to temper their moods. The little kids are hitting each other, the older kids are now tearing apart their happy meal bag and using the pieces as spit wads. UGH..the squealing, the giggling, the crying and the chipmunks in the back round - my head still hurts.
Finally, we make it to our parents house and the kids unload. They cannot get out fast enough, their feet hit the drive-way and the scatter. To the jungle-gym, to find the new kittens, to find my parents etc.
Pyper on the other hand is stuck in her seat - the buckle is on, and she is MAD. I get her and she is pissed!! I try to calm her down, and in an instant she sees my dad - she is trying to get out of my arms; because he will comfort her.
He smiles at her and states ' Are you here to see me? I have been waiting for you.'
At that moment, her fit stopped, she smiled, she grabbed his hairy face and answered 'yes, papa. I hay(stay) here wit you.' His heart melts and they walk off. All is well in her little world, and he gets a glimpse of love without parameters. The joy of a child is amazing.
It is strange, I am like a kid too when I get home. I still consider my parents home a part of my home. So, since the plan was to drop them off, I am trying to get out of there as fast as my little feet will carry me. My sister has the same plan. We unload bags, say brief hello's - then goodbye's and we are back in the van - without kids or a pool in 15 minutes flat.
Here is the kicker....Pyper can sense that I am leaving. But, rather than be upset that I am leaving, she is afraid that I am going take her back with me. She is holding on to my mom's leg for dear life, telling me bye. I get in the van, they are on the porch and she keeps looking at my mom to make sure she is not going to pick her up and take her near the van. Because she is not getting back in the damn van with me.
Once Pyper figures out that she 'really' gets to stay, she starts yelling 'bye mom, bye mama..'
Funny, she is as happy to see me go ; as I am to be leaving.
I am telling my mother bye at the same time my child is telling me bye. Full circle in one moment. And there is my mother surrounded by 7 children as her grown children take off ;and everyone is happy.
The drive home, just me and Misty was wonderful. We were two mom's in a mini-van, but we felt like to teenagers in a T-bird. We rolled down the windows, opened the sun-roof and cranked the radio. We sang at the top of our lungs for 1 1/2 hours......we sang Black Crows, Foo Fighters, Bob Seeger, Janis Joplin, AC/DC, etc.
We gasped like little girls when we hit a bird - so we thought. But when we stopped at a stop sign, it flew out from under the car. Then 30 minutes later, we almost hit a possum. Yeah, girl shirek.
I took a moment between songs, to look over at my sister and relish in the moment of it just being her and I. We would drive around as teenagers, radio cranked, hair blowing - without a care in the world. For a moment we were back there, and just glad to be around each other, without saying a word - we said a thousand I love yous.
Black Grows singing 'she talkes to angles $85.00 for XM subscription
One in half hours in the car with just your sister - PRICELESS.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Wed and planning.....for the weekend.

Is it Wed already?? I woke up this morning thinking it was Tues.
This evening I will run around like a chicken with my head cut off...

I will pick up the kids from the sitters. Go to my sisters to load them up in her van (w/her 4 kids) and we will ALL make our way to the country (down past Farmington).
My mom is going to keep all of our kids until Saturday.
-Thursday night I have a benefit at Andre's to attend from 7-11. My sister put the benefit together to help her friend who lost her husband recently. Anyone is welcome to come...
*For $40.00 you will get dinner, drinks (beer, wine, and mixed drinks-open BAR) and music from Johnny Rocket.

-Friday night, I 'think' we might go to Ameristar to see the Wild Stallions. If we don't do that, then Lance and I will do something fun- I demand it. I suggested to him that we either go to a dinner theater or go to the funny bone. We will see what Friday brings.

-Saturday we will head to the country to pick up our kids - but rather than bring them home, we have decided to take them camping on the black river. My mother lives 15/20 minutes from the black river and Rylan is so excited he cannot stand himself.
*I don't really expect that Pyper will stay the night, she is a bit too little (I think). So, her and I will stay at my mothers for the evening, while to boys bond over the camp-fire.
PLUS, I just found out that my brother is in town as well, and plans to be camping at Black River lodge for the weekend, so as a bonus, I will get to see my brother and his kids as well. My brother currently lives in Arkansas, and is in town on a job interview/vacation. Him and his family will be staying in a cabin - but Lance plans on staying in a tent.

- Sunday, we will drive home and attempt to relax.

*I 'think' we are planning an adult float trip the weekend of the 14th? Still waiting for those plans to pan out. My toes look good, but my thighs could use some work. They look better the more drinks I have. Come to think of it, my husband looks better the more drinks I have as well - ha!!!

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Shhh...daddy sleeping.

Let me set the tone ..... I leave last night around 6:30 to attend a night meeting. I have to attend two night meetings a month. We ALL understand this schedule, so it should be no big deal. I get out of the meeting by 9 and I am home by 9:30. My kids are, normally, in bed by 8:30.
I get home, walk thru the kitchen and I hear the TV still on. No big deal, I figure Lance is up watching the history channel. I round the corner and see Pyper laying on the couch, next to her dad. Her dad is lounged out, arm behind his head, hand in his pant and snoring. Pyper on the other hand, pops her head up as soon as she see's me and grins. She jumps up, starts talking and trys to get past her dad - as she passes him she stops, places her little finger to her lips and states 'Shhhh mom, dad seeping.'

I snort -IMAGINE that! Dear heaven - what is he doing????

I nudge him once, twice - THREE times. He looks startled ' uhh, what are you doing home?'

And the beat goes on.............

Monday, June 2, 2008

Heavy Heart....

Dear god, if you hear me PLEASE give me strength, wisdom and the words to keep my children safe.
I know this first line is really sobering, but I am 'afraid' my son is being abused by the neighbor boy (who is only 8). If you are not looking for a 'downer' today, then stop reading.
If you continue to read, and could offer me a bit of advice, I could use it..........

My neighbors are weird, they have ALWAYS been weird - I think they are swingers and were feeling us out the first two years we lived there. But since 'we' gave no indication of wanting to talk about our sex life and did not prompt them to continue with half-ass drunk advances, they began to leave us alone. For the most part, Lance and chalked it all up as a couple that were a bit more open about their bedroom activities than we were. But keeping it in the back our minds. We don't hang out with them, we are polite and say hello if we see them, but nothing else.

They have two kids a 15 yr old boy and an 8 yr old boy. Both of these kids make my skin crawl. The 15 yr old boy saw me walking across my lawn last year, I was heading inside and he asked me 'are you going inside to have sex'. I stopped dead in my tracks and replied 'that is completely inappropriate'. He half ass apologized, and went on about his business. This year he has been expelled from school, although I don't know the particulars. He has level of deepness and darkness that i cannot put my finger on.

His younger brother also makes my skin crawl and he is only 8. He is always trying to get my daughter to take her clothes off, trying to get her to be naked around him. He wants to see her 'boobs'. Lance and I are very mind full when this child is around. When Rylan has nothing else to do, he doesn't mind playing with the 8 yr old neighbor boy. The neighbor boy 'makes up' games to play, and wants Rylan to play. They always play at our house, because I won't let Rylan go inside their home. Two months ago they boys were downstairs playing and I went to check on them. I walk down the steps and find the door shut (umm, we DON"T shut doors), I creep slowly and open the door and find the lights off as well. I walk up on my son sitting in a chair and the neighbor boy behind him very close to him with is hand placed on his upper thigh, very close to his genitals. I promptly ask the boys ' what are you doing?'
Rylan looks startled, and the neighbor boy looks half pleased and begins spitting out lies. I look Rylan right in the eyes, tell the neighbor boy to shut it and state, 'we don't shut doors, turn off lights and touch other people in our house.' Rylan half in tears says ' mom, the neighbor boy was showing me how to play a game.' I look at Rylan (trying to be soft) ' we don't play games where little boys touch each other.'

Rylan states 'we weren't mom....we weren't mom.' I don't want him to be frantic, so I tell them to get their butts outside and no more playing inside. I tell the neighbor boy ' in my house we don't play those games.' He shrugged his shoulders and left as if nothing happened. In my heart I know this boy is 'teaching' my son how to no longer be an innocent 7 yr old.

I go over to speak to his parents.....they seem unmoved by my conversation. Asking me 'did you really see anything? Our son has a BIG imagination, if he says he was playing a game, then perhaps you read more into the the situation.'

*umph. Note to self - these parents are not going to help control the situation. And for the most part they are right, I don't have any proof of anything wrong; BUT my intuition tells me something is WRONG.

Which leads me to this past Sunday. I need to go to the store, the neighbor boy is over and wants to watch a movie with Rylan on the plasma TV. I say 'okay' - thinking we have an understanding, and knowing that Pyper will be safe because she is with me. As i am headed out to the car I tell Lance ' be sure to check on those boys.' I get the -yeah, yeah nod.

I get home, put groceries away and creep down to check on the boys. The TV is so loud they cannot hear me coming. I cannot find them in front of the TV, rather I find them in Pyper's bed under the covers. The lights are off, my eyes have not adjusted to the light so I cannot tell what is going on. But in my heart I know that something was going on. I flip the light on, they shift out from under the covers and look startled. It takes all I have not to lose it.......
I ask ' what is going on??' 'What are you boys doing in Pyper's bed?' 'Rylan - YOU know better.'
Rylan ' he was showing me a game under the covers.'
the hair on my back stands up, and I glare at the boy. Who, by the way, was sitting on the bed indian style acting as cool as can be. He was smug, he was acting as if he knew there was nothing I could do about it.
I tell them to get out of the bed, pick up the pop-corn and turn the movie off. The neighbor boy gets up fast and heads home, before i can even turn around.

I look at Rylan, my heart is hurting and state ' You are not allowed in the beds, under the covers or to turn off lights. Plus, little boys do not touch little boys.'
His face falls, he does not protest - he just looks aways and nodds. I continue ' Little boys don't touch little boys and they don't touch little girls. The neighbor boy is not allowed to touch you or Pyper.' I continue ' Rylan the neighbor boy is not allow to touch you, nor is his older brother. It is not nice.' I ask 'has his brother touched you??'
I fear the answer. Rylan looks slightly shaken and he states 'no.' flatly.
By reading his little body language, I know I need to stop. I hug him, tell him I love him and ask him to please let me know if anyone EVER touches him. He nodds in agreement. It is overload for him, I can see it. I tell him to go play, and it lightens the mood.
I find Lance, because I am PISSED - I don't believe he checked on them.

*I bring Lance up to speed, and he is angry. I tell him he cannot address this with anger, and he does not need to bring it up - Rylan asked me not to tell him.
So, what does the idiot do???? Two hours later, I am in the kitchen making lunch and Lance is standing next to Rylan and I hear 'were you two boys touching each other?'
Rylan shoots a glare at me *I have broken our trust* - that is what the glare says to me.
Rylan begins to shake his head no. Lance continues ' boys don't get with boys. If they do, they are fags.'
I stand up and tell Lance to SHUT UP.
Rylan begins crying, and I ask what is wrong? He says ' my dad is calling me names.'
I glare at Lance, with the mama bear glance *that one that says, one more word and I will KILL you. I tell Rylan to go have his lunch. I hug him and tell him his dad SUCKS.

I bring Lance outside and tell him to keep is crap to himself. If he thinks making Rylan feel ashamed is helpful then he is wrong, and I won't confide in him if he is going to be a jackass. I continued to tell him that Rylan does not trust us and 'IF' the older brother or the neighbor boy continues with this behavior Rylan won't tell us. We cannot afford for Rylan NOT to tell us. We cannot make him feel ashamed, we cannot hurt his little heart.
Lance hangs his head low - he didn't think of that. I spout ' you cannot afford to be so dumb. So, keep your macho man bull-shit to yourself and try to protect your son.'

Deep inside of me, I want to chopp the neighbor boys hands off, I want to smack that smug grin right off his face. I am afraid what this may due to my 7 yr old son. No child should have 'sex' thoughts or be stimulated at this age. What am I suppose to do?? Loving my child is not enough to protect him from the world. *I cannot afford for him not to trust me, he has to have someone to tell. Not having someone he can trust could lead him with no-where to go.
I also cannot turn a blind-eye. I will face this 'thing' head on.
I spoke again yesterday with the neighbor boy and let him know that once again, these actions are NOT acceptable. And he will no longer be allowed downstairs and left alone with my children. I told this in front of Rylan. He will not get to walk around thinking that Rylan is the only one getting talked to. Plus, this kid needs to know that I will be watching him like a hawk. I am afraid Lance will hurt the child IF he ever sees him look cross-eyed at Pyper or Rylan.
So, I must tread lightly around my 7 yr olds emotions, and keep his age and mentality in mind as I speak with him. But, where do I go from here??????????????????


Nieces & Nephews and Kids...