The Midget is a Teenager!!!
There are no longer kids in my house, it is now full of teenagers!
I am mixed about all of it. We are no longer working through easy home work and hurt feelings that can be fixed with a lolly pop or a band aid.
We are having discussions about boys, mean girls, homework, pressures of society, and periods.
We have dealt with bullying and come out on the other side of it. Even recognizing that in that process she at times was the mean girl.
None of it has been easy, nor have I felt prepared to deal with any of it. But somehow between my prayers and the village of people in our world we keep making our way through this crazy life.
Before you were born, your brother drew this picture of you in my belly. Yes i keep it, yes I keep it framed. It continues to speak to how loved you were before you even graced us with your presence. Your brother in all his little soul at 5 years old was excited to think that he could be your person and at 5 this was how he expressed it. it continues to speak to the innocence between your two souls.
This one will forever capture both of your souls wrapped up in a hug. Eyes that smile, love that surrounds both of you and a light that tells the world you are coming. I always tell both of you, all you will have is each other. In this crazy world, you will have to some where to go with your head and heart and the things you wont tell me or your dad. That place is at your core and will be your brother. My mother did that for me and as I watch you and your brother interact I know that I have done that for you. When your dad I got divorced, it was hard, hard on everyone. We have come out on the other side of it with flying colors. But we did it together. And we did it with a continued focus of love. That is one of many life lessons that you and your brother will share.
Right now you two are at the stage of poking, bickering and making me want to stab you both in the eye as I walk by. You two at times will share a song on the radio or lock forces to let me know that I am cranky and need to calm down. Or on the mornings that I will make one of you dance with me, you will both share an eye roll. It is my job to annoy both you, I feel like I am succeeding in that area.
We know that this year will be big changes for us as we prepare to send Ry off to college. Plus I am now the assistant coach to your volleyball team. Haha....I know. So with that in mind, we joined a gym together. You and I go and you put in your head phone and I find myself just glad to be in your space. Volleyball has begun to feed your soul. You are good at it, you get it and I am glad you have found something to pour your energy into. At this age it is important. And much like with your brother, I will be your biggest supporter. I will be the one that is too loud at your games, the one that you may attempt to shhhh from the sidelines, the one that will be on the court in 10 seconds flat if you are hurt. You father will be there also cheering you on and loving you.
Our days are spent with you throwing your hands in the air at me 90% of the time. Our days are spent trying to find our way and keep emotions down. You are such a girly girl, full of make up, hair, newest styles, youtube videos about make up - basically all things I really don't understand. You spend hours watching Grey's Anatomy, to the point that you think you want to be a doctor. You have a great sense of adventure with food, which you get from me and your father. Your have a terrible stubborn streak, which I have to say is from me - which is prob why it drives me bonkers. You have a smile that continues to light up a room and a laugh that draws people in and makes them feel at home. Your insides are good, you hug people and they feel you surround them in love. When you are hurt it shows and it sucks the life out of a room. You prefer to cry alone and not discuss how you are feeling. Which as you know is an issue with me. I don't need it to be an event, but I do need you to know that having emotions and allowing them to happen is part of life. We are all not facebook happy 100% of the time and angry, sad and even just blah days are okay -hell they are necessary. Exercise will help you work through this at a young age and be there as you get older and don't know what to do with yourself.
I know there are times I am all up in your space, in your business and it is not subtle. I will never be that mom that sits back and stands in the shadow. I am not designed like that. There are times when it may feel like I am sucking the life out of you, and perhaps I am. I do it with the best of intentions. You and your brother are my gift to the world, and its my job to give you a foundation of god, prayer, manners, an idea that life will throw you curve balls and you will either catch the ball, hit the ball, and in some cases get hit by it. And when the ball feels like it has hit you in the face, and perhaps broken your nose, you can take a moment, sit and cry, but you must get up get back to that plate and be prepared to hit it again. You will always find life being funny, hard, and sometime boring. But it is yours and I cannot wait to see what you do with it. I expect that as we plan what to do next with your brother leaving, you and I will have some of the best adventures. As we make a list of all the places we are going to go. We will spend this summer taking your brother where he wishes to go, like Canada - blah, and then you and I can hit every beach possible. Last night at dinner you even mentioned the Canary Islands. Please feed your sense of adventure.
Every girl needs a group of girls that love them, get them, cheer for them, support them and always want to see them win. I have spent your lifetime making you know that you have that in your family. From your grandma, your aunt, and your cousins. Which is why it was so special to me that your first wish for your 13th birthday was that we go see Aunt Misty and the kids. I offered for you to have a party, have friends over, rent a hotel room so you could swim - an no, the core of it was to head to the country to see your family. and in return they are all so excited to celebrate and embrace you turning 13. I pray today is everything you hoped it was. I pray you know how loved you are.
This morning your dads girlfriend brought you over chocolate gravy and biscuits. Thursday night your dad took you to sushi.
You touch every person you meet, your core resignates sunshine and love. I pray you continue to see babies and it makes your heart melt and in the future you want to help them. I pray you continue to sing in the shower, in the car with me and dance around the house. I pray you continue to play volleyball, even on the days you feel like you have failed. I pray you don't let me take away the girly parts of you that make you you, even when i don't understand them. I pray on the days it gets to hard and you don't want to share out loud that you lean into to god. I pray that on the days and nights you are not in my space that you continue to say your prayers and always list 3 things you are grateful for.
Thank you for choosing me to be your mom and thank you for sharing this next stage of life with me - may we figure it out together.
HAPPY 13th BIRTHDAY, midget. Let's eat some cheesecake, share some laughs and feel the love.
I am mixed about all of it. We are no longer working through easy home work and hurt feelings that can be fixed with a lolly pop or a band aid.
We are having discussions about boys, mean girls, homework, pressures of society, and periods.
We have dealt with bullying and come out on the other side of it. Even recognizing that in that process she at times was the mean girl.
None of it has been easy, nor have I felt prepared to deal with any of it. But somehow between my prayers and the village of people in our world we keep making our way through this crazy life.
Before you were born, your brother drew this picture of you in my belly. Yes i keep it, yes I keep it framed. It continues to speak to how loved you were before you even graced us with your presence. Your brother in all his little soul at 5 years old was excited to think that he could be your person and at 5 this was how he expressed it. it continues to speak to the innocence between your two souls.
This one will forever capture both of your souls wrapped up in a hug. Eyes that smile, love that surrounds both of you and a light that tells the world you are coming. I always tell both of you, all you will have is each other. In this crazy world, you will have to some where to go with your head and heart and the things you wont tell me or your dad. That place is at your core and will be your brother. My mother did that for me and as I watch you and your brother interact I know that I have done that for you. When your dad I got divorced, it was hard, hard on everyone. We have come out on the other side of it with flying colors. But we did it together. And we did it with a continued focus of love. That is one of many life lessons that you and your brother will share.
Right now you two are at the stage of poking, bickering and making me want to stab you both in the eye as I walk by. You two at times will share a song on the radio or lock forces to let me know that I am cranky and need to calm down. Or on the mornings that I will make one of you dance with me, you will both share an eye roll. It is my job to annoy both you, I feel like I am succeeding in that area.
We know that this year will be big changes for us as we prepare to send Ry off to college. Plus I am now the assistant coach to your volleyball team. Haha....I know. So with that in mind, we joined a gym together. You and I go and you put in your head phone and I find myself just glad to be in your space. Volleyball has begun to feed your soul. You are good at it, you get it and I am glad you have found something to pour your energy into. At this age it is important. And much like with your brother, I will be your biggest supporter. I will be the one that is too loud at your games, the one that you may attempt to shhhh from the sidelines, the one that will be on the court in 10 seconds flat if you are hurt. You father will be there also cheering you on and loving you.
Our days are spent with you throwing your hands in the air at me 90% of the time. Our days are spent trying to find our way and keep emotions down. You are such a girly girl, full of make up, hair, newest styles, youtube videos about make up - basically all things I really don't understand. You spend hours watching Grey's Anatomy, to the point that you think you want to be a doctor. You have a great sense of adventure with food, which you get from me and your father. Your have a terrible stubborn streak, which I have to say is from me - which is prob why it drives me bonkers. You have a smile that continues to light up a room and a laugh that draws people in and makes them feel at home. Your insides are good, you hug people and they feel you surround them in love. When you are hurt it shows and it sucks the life out of a room. You prefer to cry alone and not discuss how you are feeling. Which as you know is an issue with me. I don't need it to be an event, but I do need you to know that having emotions and allowing them to happen is part of life. We are all not facebook happy 100% of the time and angry, sad and even just blah days are okay -hell they are necessary. Exercise will help you work through this at a young age and be there as you get older and don't know what to do with yourself.
I know there are times I am all up in your space, in your business and it is not subtle. I will never be that mom that sits back and stands in the shadow. I am not designed like that. There are times when it may feel like I am sucking the life out of you, and perhaps I am. I do it with the best of intentions. You and your brother are my gift to the world, and its my job to give you a foundation of god, prayer, manners, an idea that life will throw you curve balls and you will either catch the ball, hit the ball, and in some cases get hit by it. And when the ball feels like it has hit you in the face, and perhaps broken your nose, you can take a moment, sit and cry, but you must get up get back to that plate and be prepared to hit it again. You will always find life being funny, hard, and sometime boring. But it is yours and I cannot wait to see what you do with it. I expect that as we plan what to do next with your brother leaving, you and I will have some of the best adventures. As we make a list of all the places we are going to go. We will spend this summer taking your brother where he wishes to go, like Canada - blah, and then you and I can hit every beach possible. Last night at dinner you even mentioned the Canary Islands. Please feed your sense of adventure.
Every girl needs a group of girls that love them, get them, cheer for them, support them and always want to see them win. I have spent your lifetime making you know that you have that in your family. From your grandma, your aunt, and your cousins. Which is why it was so special to me that your first wish for your 13th birthday was that we go see Aunt Misty and the kids. I offered for you to have a party, have friends over, rent a hotel room so you could swim - an no, the core of it was to head to the country to see your family. and in return they are all so excited to celebrate and embrace you turning 13. I pray today is everything you hoped it was. I pray you know how loved you are.
This morning your dads girlfriend brought you over chocolate gravy and biscuits. Thursday night your dad took you to sushi.
You touch every person you meet, your core resignates sunshine and love. I pray you continue to see babies and it makes your heart melt and in the future you want to help them. I pray you continue to sing in the shower, in the car with me and dance around the house. I pray you continue to play volleyball, even on the days you feel like you have failed. I pray you don't let me take away the girly parts of you that make you you, even when i don't understand them. I pray on the days it gets to hard and you don't want to share out loud that you lean into to god. I pray that on the days and nights you are not in my space that you continue to say your prayers and always list 3 things you are grateful for.
Thank you for choosing me to be your mom and thank you for sharing this next stage of life with me - may we figure it out together.
HAPPY 13th BIRTHDAY, midget. Let's eat some cheesecake, share some laughs and feel the love.
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