Sunday, January 30, 2011

Up..down...up...down

I cannot believe that it has taken me so long to get my butt back on here.
Actually I was in the middle of a post on NYE, while at work when the sirens went off and a tornado decided to came through the city.
So in an effort to save my life and attempt to live just one more stinkn' day, I went to the basement and forgot about the silly post.
New Years eve came and went, and so did new years day and now 2011 is in full swing. Actually the whole freakn' month of January came and went without much out of me.
Swamped does not begin to touch the amount of work I have got to do.
I just implemented an upgraded version of our payroll, we went web-based. I had two ladies switch jobs, I am installing new financial software and because I am a total crack head. I just went out to bid for NEW auditors. OMG. I think I might puke!
I am working late, feeling like crap and burring it at both ends. On top of it all, Lance is STILL home and we are about to kill each other. I read somewhere that the two biggest issues married couples run into and the two biggest strains on a marriage are finances and kids. Well, I can safely say that is a pretty fair statement. I see him everyday getting sucked in to the his head and he gives the appearance that his lazy boy has consumed him. I on the other hand cannot seem to get home from work until close to 6, 7 or 8pm. We just got word that his unemployment has run out as well. At least when he got unemployment he could cover the daycare expenses on a weekly basis. Yes folks he sends my children to care (both of them) even though he is not working. *It is a fight I don't have it in me to fight.* But NOW, what to do NOW?
We are breaking down at the seams. He has to go find a job. He sniped at me the other night, 'well hell Michelle I guess I'll just go work at McDonalds.' My response was 'good.'
I cannot make him want to be grown up, I cannot make him get out of his funk. I don't have the energy and frankly it is pissing me off!!
This past week really kicked my butt, two really late nights and up at work on time every freakn' day. So Saturday, I did NOTHING. Actually I got 3 books and lay ed in bed all day. This made him mad. He was mad that I did not act more engaged during the day, that I did not entertain the kids ect. Well, here is where i am at. I needed a day to re-group. I needed a day to unwind and take care of me. Well actually I must have needed two days, because I still have yet to get out of my pj's. I have to get up everyday, get dressed, be the boss, fight the fights and when I get home....I don't want to do anything but hug my kids and have a date with my couch. I refuse to feel bad for that.
So he took the kids to the park today to meet my BIL who has his kids for the day ; and he left mad again. Mad at me for not going. Listen this is a no win situation. IF I would have went I would have been miserable and we would have fought. IF I stayed home, which I did, he would still be mad. So either way, he is mad. But this way, I am re-grouping and keeping myself sane. Yes, folks it is okay to be selfish and by all means know your limits.
So today is my day to carry around the funk from yesterday, because I don't plan to shower till in the morning. I plan to eat cereal for lunch, not shave or fix my hair and I cannot freakn' wait. Hell, I may take a bath just for grins.
Im not sure whether or not we are coming or going, but I am sure that I have to stay mindful and healthy to get through it. So adios January, lets see what February has in store.
Apparently we need to brace for snow and ice. Which equals the kids being off SCHOOL. OMG. I would like to think that IF the weather gets bad then I can just bunk up at home; but that is not the case this week. Tuesday I HAVE to pick up paychexs. So regardless of the weather duty calls and my office needs some attention. The conference I had in Columbia may be cancelled, but work, well that will require that I show up. So as we try to mauver through the daily task of work, family and friends. I wish you the best of luck getting around town and keeping up with the ups' n' downs' that maybe hitting you in 2011.

2 comments:

Farrell said...

Sounds like you DID need a day to regroup and I'm glad you took it and you should NOT feel selfish about it.

D. said...

Accidentally tweeted to you - I was trying to tweet to the Working Mother magazine but I'm really loving the honesty of your blog! I'm also a working mom of two.

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