Saturday, March 8, 2014

The midget & me...

Tomorrow the midget will turn 8! Wow, can you believe it - 8!
It took me 5 years to have the courage to have the child, given our son's clefting and 50/50 chance we ran to have another 'genetic mishap.' Yeah thats the term they use to describe our son's clefting. Jerk faces!
I held my breath the entire time I was prego with this child. We didn't find out the sex until she was born and my mother was so angry at me she could have spit bullets.

She called me one day and had this to say...."Beenie I know its hard to hear, but I hope you don't have girl. I just cannot see a prety girl if you and lance have kids." haha!! Gawd love her!
I must admit, it is difficut to determine what our children would look like and a girl was a total curve ball.
Luck for us, she got some of our best features. How in the hell did she not get blue eyes? She has all depew attributes, thru and thru.

At 8 she is kind, she is gentel at times, and stubborn as hell! She is loud, she is funny, she loves music to her core and on any given day you can find her singing Timber at the top of her lungs in the shower.
She loves food, any kind. There are times when I have packed her the 'stinky girl lunch' - hard boiled eggs, saurkraut, and tuna fish. haha!!

The other day a girl at school called her 'fat'. As a child, my sister and I both were both on the chuncky side - it happens folks. I told her that day she was beautiful. I tell her everyday she is beautiful.
Her feelings were hurt by the girl at school, and rightfully so. I told her kids can be mean and there are gonna be times that you have to know better and find the grace to move on. At the same time, my son, her older brother told her that she should have punched the girl in the nose. God love older brothers. His advice made me smile. Even thought I told her she could not punch over name calling.

Every morning I take her to school and see my son on the bus, every morning and every night I tell them I love them. I kiss them and I hug them. That is my daily saving grace. They are my greatest accomplishment.
She has a sparkel in her eye that will pierce you with a degree of sunshine and happiness. Every morning we dance, as I get dressed we turn on youtube and we dance to at least 3 songs.
We say the same prayer that my mother said with us. We give reasons to be greatful everyday.
My children must do chores. I am a single mom trying to keep a household together and they can pull a few of the pieces together. They each clean their room, vacume their floors and each one must do something downstairs.
She is my cuddler, in her sleep she likes to be close, she likes to wrap her sausage fingers around your hair until it reaches your scalp. She likes to hugg you tight and kiss you kindly.

She dresses like punky brewster on any given day of the week, and it makes me smile. My mother always encouraged us to be individuals in every area of our life and dressing was always interesting and it continues to be. I would never change that in my midget, her origial outfits make me smile and make wanna bottle up her joy for a rainy day.
Right now at this very moment, she we are dancing to September...dancing the night away. All smiles.
She knows Patsey Cline, Elvis, Clutch, Daughtry, Pharell, Kesha, Randy Travis, Adam Levine...I like the fact that she loves all music. She is not very athletic. Even as i type it, it makes me laugh.

She is my midget. Loving, kind, stubborn, funny, loud, curious, joyful, beautiful and my daughter.
Its funny, I'm not like most girls. I never wanted the white picket fence - if I ever pictured it, I'm sure it was on fire. I'm not a cinderalla kinda girl and there are days im not sure why god gave me kids. Am I REALLY suppose to mold the minds of tomorrow? There are days I can barely get dressed on my own. If I hear my kids breathing and smiling, I consider that a WIN. I am not sure from day to day who is teaching who here, but I thank god I get the opportunity to learn from her. She teaches me to relax, to sing loud and off key. She will let me know each morning if I look 'ok'. She does not care what I do all day, when I get home, she just needs me to be mom. A person with a smile, a hugg, a kiss, some kind words and someone to help with homework. My daily stresses are not hers to own or to be thrown on her like emotional vomit for the day. We cook together, even thought I sux.
Since my seperation two years ago I have had to learn how to cook. She has let me know when I have been successful or when I have failed. haha. The burnt pizza - major fail! The pork chops are getting better. So as she reaches 8, I can assure I still feel like there are days I am crawling. I'm not sure who is running the show, but it is always worth the price of admission.
Here is what I know. When you get - GIVE. When you learn - Teach. If you did something wrong- say you are sorry.

So to my beautiful midget, i love you. I thank for you choosing me and making me smile everyday. I look at you and I see hope, I see joy and I feel the laughter. Even in my darkest days, I feel the hope. As we watch movies, shop in the mall, dance every morning and paint nails every sunday. I have hope. The hope of always improving and the hope that you always keep your smile. I am learning that life is not suppose to be easy, it just suppose to be worth it....and you my child teach me something everyday. As you begin to embark on 8, I pray you keep your smile, your laughter and your grace. May god bless you midget! Happy Birthday luv.

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