Well this past weekend my father had the bright idea to throw my mother a surprise birthday party.
1) rule number one, my mother does not like anything she cannot control
I repeat! My mother does not like anything she cannot CONTROL.
This rule is nothing new, and should never be broken. She has a tendency to be emotional, crazy and bewildered at times. This time was no different. And by the way no one is saved from the wrath, just an fyi.
All last week a flock of women in my mothers life spent the better part of the week wondering who was on first? Who organized this shin-dig? Who was going to make sure it all came together? Because honestly, my mother does all of that - duh.
And with each phone call, we put a few bits n' pieces together but in our heads we were collectively thinking 'holy hell this is gonna suck big eggs.'
My fathers instructions were brief and in his mind clear. However in the mind of a women - no enough detail. Actually now that i think of it, I never actually had a conversation with my father about the part, not one. My responsibilities were all hearsay from my sister.
Heres what we did know:
1) a band has been booked
2) it will be in the new barn
3) people will park in the field
4) flyer's went out to family members, and all others were told via word of mouth (see us getting sketchy).
5) my dad wanted finger foods
6) ohh, and most importantly he got a keg of beer
7) he also rented a porta-potty (good job!).
So as usual me n' the sista wait until the last minute to get the food from Costco. A few paper products, a few bags of wings a few bags of chicken fingers,a few bags of chips and we have a party. My grandmother ordered a few subs, while in town I picked up brats and buns and voila' the food is done. Oh yeah and one carrot cake. Voila'!
Well last week was a rainy mess. I looked at my dad at 9am on Saturday, half ass pleading with him to cancel the damn thing. 'Dad it is still raining, where is everyone going to park, the field will be too wet.' He looks at me in total dad manner ' beenie we are too far to back out now.'
So that was the no turning back point. So then back up at the house my mother was in self pity mode, she really wanted to go away for her birthday, she really wanted to do something, she REALLY my father to listen to her. She was pretty angry, then she she got sad and I could feel the walls falling down around me - in my mind i was thinking 'for gosh sakes someone just tell her!!'. My father was dead set on not telling her, regardless on how much attitude she was going to give that day. And boy can she dish the attitude. So by 3pm after she ate half my arse, and chewed on my father a bit more; I packed up the kids and left.
On the way out of town, I passed my sister in her car, she flashed me to pull over. I let her know the events of the day, she was stern in telling me to turn my car around and head back to my mothers. Like some kicking screaming little school girl I tried to say NO. Well that didn't work, so I turned around and headed back to hellville. Once we got inside my mother was a blubbering mess, dear god the tears. My father told her there would be a party and now she wanted to know who planned this event for her. Because she does NOT want one. OMG. My head was already spinning from the drama all day and now the tears. This birthday party has turned into one big pain in the ass. Once she finds out that me nor Misty really had anything to do with it she walked the long way around the mountain of nonsense and decided she was not mad at us and that she should not be mad at my father either.
So now we are beginning to come full circle with the emotions, mad, sad and now apologetic. My father told her to start to get ready, have her hair done figure out what clothes she wants to wear the party will start in a few hours.
So my mother ran to town with the kids in an effort to regroup.
While she was gone we were hoping the band would arrive, this was the REALLY big surprise.
Aside from my brother also coming into town. During her anger stage she stated how much she just wanted her kids together, so at that stage I told her Matthew was in town, and then she started crying again. (dear god...please make it stop). So now all 3 of her kids were home and her grandkids were in town she suddenly felt somewhat whole again.
So the band was suppose to be at the house at 4pm, they did not arrive until 6pm. That about had my dad stroke out. But once the arrived you could see the relief come across his face. At this rate who cares who shows up, the band and birthday girl are in the house!
As the night drew on the rain stopped, the smoker was started, brats were cooked and the people began to show up. It was really going to be a party.
My mother made her way down around 8pm and the shift happened. We were now HAPPY.
The party was a HUGE success, don't ask me how.
How does my father get a successful party without invitations and RSVP's? How does my father get a successful party with no real organization? In true dad form, it just happens, it all came together.
My mother had her sister(s), her mother, her children, her neighbors and her friends all around her to celebrate her turning 55 yrs old. And to top it all off she had the music of her favorite band, who totally rocked the doors off the barn. No amount of planning could have made the night any better, you could not bottle up this success or draw a map for it. It just happened.
Another night of my family coming out to celebrate my mother and being family. Mind you, in true mutha form it took a lot of drama to get there, and my father in all his wisdom was pretty prepared for it - he knew she would have every emotion that escaped her pretty little head. He was pretty prepared to wade thru the nonsense and remain steadfast. He really does know her, and he should after close to 40 years!!
So ode to my mutha, god luv you. We have all been blessed by your ability to luv without boundaries - but with alot of emotion. There are times when you are wise beyond your years and then lost by the obvious. that is a few of the small reasons why we all luv you so. I hope Saturday, May 15,2010 you could feel the luv and respect from your family and friends. It will take a whole-hell-of a lot to top that one! Because we do know how to throw a darn good barn party. Photos to come soon!!