15 and then some....

Well so it begins, DRIVING!! Can you freakn' believe it!! Yeah, yeah and more yeah! I am so excited for this darn kid to drive, i cannot stand myself. I have been letting him drive now for years. Don't get all twisty, not on highways or anything major. But we do country driving. He has been driving and riding 4 wheelers since he was 4. I think being comfortable before letting him hit the road is necessary, and well sort of my job. Well probably "our" job and out of the either Lance and or I - I am the better driver, so I get to teach. haha!
Don't get me wrong, I prefer to go fast, speed limits are just a recommendation - unless you are passing through Burns Mill, then just mind the damn limit, bc they sux!
I've never gotten pulled over there, but they have someone everyday, and their territory is not no bigger than my back yard!

I have been asking Rylan for weeks now to just drive random places.
He has always told me no!
I always respond "Why not!" In my best whiny voice.
Him "Because it is illegal!!" In his best grown up voice
Me "Its only illegal IF you get caught!!!"
Him "That is SOOO NOT true!"
He always seems to be so grown up!! Not really sure whose kid he is..
Well grown up, until that one time.



Well,now that conversation can take a new turn and he can no longer tell me NO!
Yeah ME!

I can honestly say that, dear gawd most of the time, I have no damn idea what I am doing as a parent and I am honestly winging it 99% of the time, the other 1% I am either drunk or asleep!
Being his parent is easy, he is kind of kid everyone should get once in a life time.
He is funny, smart (when he wants to be) a smart ass (most of the time now), and continues to teach me grace everyday.

He is making his way through his freshman year like a champ!
There are days when he is a complete, chimp, don't get me wrong. He has, at times, been lazy on his school work and plays way too much xbox.
But for the most part he stays in his lane, keeps his nose clean and I am grateful to say still says prayers everynight and tells me he loves me everyday.
He is growing out of his quirky, lanky self and into a grown ass kid/man. Which is weird! Weird I tell you.
We buy razors, we buy deodorant, we actually fix our hair (sometimes), we put on socks that match and put our zit cream on everynight.
All very grown up things to do everyday. He still has trouble putting his own damn dishes in the dishwasher, but ill take the baby steps.



I look at him and I see the silly smiling 5 year old that loved to watch Shrek and could barely wipe his butt.
And now he towers over my household, lifts weights, plays sports, has friends and even lets his sister tag along.
There is still joy in his eyes, his laughter still comes from his soul and he still has the ability to touch the heart of anyone in his space.
He is full of sass, at times attempting to push his limits, but in the end always respects that I am his mom.

We have discussions about kids, sex, drugs, drinking and just about everything that scares the crap out of me these days.
We have these discussions with ease and honesty. Which I greatly appreciate. In his mind I am sure it is more like me talking and him sitting in the passenger seat cringing waiting for song to come on that will distract me.
As we talk about drugs I let him know that I will chain him to a cellar in the country, after I beat him, and sober his ass up.
Why to the country I ask him>??? He always smiles, because he knows, that is our safe zone, thats where we go when we need to decompress, be a bit crazy or in this case just a good
ol' straighten your ass out stint.

So on this this day my kiddo, I hope you know that you make me crazy, I mean DAMN crazy!
You make me smile more than you make me cry, you make me proud more than you will ever disappoint me and I am glad everyday that you choose me to be your mom!
So as we begin to attack 15, driving, volleyball, soon to be football and god forbid girls, just know that i am here.
Bring on 15, bring on the driving and curve balls it has for us, we may not be prepared, but we will do it together.
Love you more than words, have a great birthday! Love you always, mom.

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