Wednesday, March 9, 2016

The midget is 10!!!

Double digits baby! What comes with double digits, boys, shaving, phones, body shaming, sass, stinky feet to name a few.
However there is also a smile that will light up a room, a laugh that touches your soul, eyes that shine, a love for the people in her life that seeps from her pours.
Being a mom is the biggest test I will ever attempt and fail at many, many times. I cannot believe when god was handing out kids like they were candy, that he looked at me
and thought 'hey you, there! the one who thinks she has it all figured out, well here you go! Curve ball!" I am blessed beyond words to have her and ry in my world.
They are the best parts of Lance and I, and when I see them and watch them grow..... I see hope, love and inspiration.
Despite Lance and not being together, I can honestly say we co-parent really well and are children are a fine example of that.

She may not remember the days of living together as a family, or the holidays spent together, or nights rocking her and loving her till you thought your heart would burst.
Lance is and has always been a great dad, and when the midget walks or sashes into a room you can see his face light up.
They were made for each other and she needs him to help to even me out when I can be a bit too hard, because she is a girl and girls can do anything.

As Lance and I had our trials it was clear to both of us that our kids should suffer as little as possible and that neither one of us would be absent.
Therefore we have a system that allows each of us to see them everyday. If i have struggles with sass or any other issue, we are addressing it as a team.
Lance and I are friends, we are parents...... look at that I make us sound so grown up!
We still do birthday dinners and holidays together. Even when we fail, we are trying....and these two kids are going to remain the best parts of us.
They will not get lost in the mix of our emotions or trials.

So as we celebrate the midget turning 10, we both agreed, where did the time go!
As we text yesterday, I had a moment of sadness, it really is all happening so fast.
There are days and moments when this parent thing seems to drag on like snail crossing road and all that is left behind is the slimy shit storm you wish you could wipe up and then there are days when you wanna just bottle it up like a jack in the box so you can turn the crank and have it pop up again and again and again.

We are moving on from recess and playing tag, to Instagram, girlfriends and dear gawd BOYS.
For Christmas this child asked to meet Flo Rida, everyday you can hear the wobble play at least once in our house.
She got a phone for her birthday, which makes me wanna puke in my mouth...but welcome to being uncomfortable and working through it all.
I also bought her Shawn Mendes tickets in order to take her to first concert. Yes, the gods must be CRAZY!

She had picture day yesterday and I curled her hair and she wore a leather jacket!
What in the hell....what happened to shirts with hello kitty and horses and stupid shit like that??
Nooo, we have moved on to combat boots (black of course), sneaking make up to school, leather jackets and requesting VS Pink items for her birthday.
Hey, little one, you are only 10!!!
She loves, loves, loves to sing! She sings in the car, in shower, in her room....and it is the best!!
For me it is like a 1000 angles touching my soul letting me know that despite our trials this child still has joy and passion.
To others it may sound like a dead cat, no wait thats me, trying to keep up with her.

This summer we are looking for volleyball and cheerleading camps.
Whatever happened to just camp, you know where we drop you off and swim for 5 hours and come home sunburnt and wanna die?

She has started to go to the skating rink! Dear gawd my anxiety..she even had to ask me when i went to drop her off "you are not coming in? Are you?"
Me - "Yep!"
Her "Are you gonna SKATE too?"
Me -"Well, heck, I guess not....but I can skate really well, just ask Rachel"
Her - eye roll...."You are going to come in see that everything is okay, and leave?"
Me - "ugh!!"
fine! Actually, I am going to sit in the parking lot for two hours, watch the damn door for stalkers, weirdo's and boys and make sure you are not allowed to leave.
I am also going to make you leave 15 minutes early because honestly 2 hours is too long for the first damn time for me to drop you off on a Friday night.
I am further going to speak to owner, take your blood, a sample of hair and your finger prints...just so I have everything updated.
Then I am going to call your dad, and ask what in hell are we doing - YOU ARE ONLY 10!!
He is going to laugh at me, tell me im crazy and that I must leave the parking lot....gggrrr!!

All the while she is just skating around, around in the neon lights, doing the limbo, eating pizza, pickles and loving every minute of it.

In closing, dear midget with love..thank you for touching my heart and soul daily.
Thank you for the laughter and even at times the tears...bring on 10, and everything it has to offer!

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