The midge is 14 !
We have migrated from the days of needing me to rock you to sleep, wipe your butt and wipe your tears to her telling me to stand next to her 10 times a day because she swears she is taller than me.
For the record she is not, but she is close and perhaps in 6 mths she maybe.
When did all of this happen?
I have taken the this whole parent thing in stride, basically I am winging it and there are days I am terrible at it.
There are days when I wonder whose kids are these and when are their parents coming to get them? Hence, here they are still staring at me daily asking me to be their mom.
And I show up, being a mom without a a handbook or real guidelines.
I am a mom that has found her self saying she is sorry more than not.
I am the mom that hates teenage girls most of the times and wonder what purpose they serve at times other than to remind me that I too was this age and perhaps an asshat.
Then I am reminded that teenage girls are stuck in a world of being told they need to grow up fast, but then not be a grown up. They are exposed to phones, the internet, bulling in forms even I don't understand, terms that makes zero sense to me (like Hot Cheetos Girls) and are told to have a soft heart but be prepared to bold and strong if need be.
The world is hard, the world you live in is misunderstood and even as a Mom I feel the pressure, so I cannot imagine the stress you feel of it all.
You have a soft little soul that gets hurt and you carry the hurt with you like a badge of honor, and frankly it is.
People get so busy these days not feeling anything. It is such a blessing to feel things, recognize them and then move along.
Tears and sadness are a part of it, just like belly laughing and smiles.
We spend time in my house doing all of them. We dance, we cook - well they do, I burn shit, we cry, we laugh, we fight but at the core of it all we love.
We love hard, we love deep and we are unapologetic about it.
I have tried to put people in your space that you can lean into as life gets hard.
I have tried to show you and teach you the foundation of things that my mom has taught me.
Family first, they are your people through and through.
Your aunt Misty, Courtney and Nana will be fierce in loving and helping you. Your cousins will also be the people you turn to for parties, advice, to hid bodies and for the things you do not want to tell an adult. Your Pa will always be the main stay in your life. He will make you smile, he will be a presence and he will be a phone call away, no questions asked.
When all else fails, pray. We still say the prayer my mother said with me as a child and at the end of it, we must all list 3 things we are grateful for....for me gratitude is important.
Not everyday is going to be easy and not every situation is designed to make you happy.
On the other side of uncomfortable and even sadness is growth - and frankly it suxs, but is necessary.
Fail - feel free to fail, but get back up each and every time.
Hustle -the reward is in the hustle, and no amount of me harping on you, yelling at you, wanting it for you will make you hustle.
The difference between the average and everyone else is the hustle.
No - is one word and a full sentence.
Try anything and everything - eat weird food, say yes to the dance, jump in the puddle in the rain, sing in the shower everyday, turn up the music, smile at the person in the check out line, sit with the kid at school everyone ignores.
I am not the mom that shares make up secrets, cares about clothes or girly things. And you are that girl, you like make up videos, expensive make up, clothes - we are different.
But I see you and I try to make sure I understand the things that are important to you.
You have gotten to the age where you have even decided to tell me what to wear and not wear. Hence this weekend when you told me I was not allowed to wear my outfit for your adventures to the loop. Not allowed - now that makes me laugh. In my stubbornness, I wanted to tell you to kick rocks but in my mom mode, I felt like you deserved to be heard and I needed to make concessions. Look me act like a grown up!!
I even went as far as to ask you if my outfit was okay - growth. We are in the process of growth.
And I'll admit that I have always had my own sense of style and feel pretty comfortable in being a person that may stand out - hence my green shoes.
But you must admit they were quit the conversation piece - even you and your girlfriends have conversations and laugh about them. But truth be told they are still some of the most comfortable shoes I own.
The manner in which I say goodbye to you daily has changed, it is no longer just I love you.
It has migrated in to "i love you, don't open the door to strangers, don't send nude selfies, don't accept strange friends on snapchat or tic a' toc."
As you roll your eyes and tell me its not tic A' toc - which I know, but like that your paying attention.
I need your head and heart to stay safe in this crazy world that pressures kids to grow up fast, and parents to become busy with just being busy.
I need you to remind me that being girly is not a terrible thing and that we both can put aside our stubbornness to meet in the middle.
You have shown me that being a mom is the hardest and coolest thing I have every done.
So as we migrate on to our next new adventures, I am glad that they are with you.......we will plan our next trip for the summer, you and your adventure spirit will go anywhere with me.
So make your list girl, lets decide where we want to go and we will get there.
May 14 teach you lessons that don't harden your heart, give you experiences that make you smile and know through it all I love you even on the days we don't really like each other....
The world needs your smile, the world needs your voice - so sing in the shower, roll the windows down and sing in the car and even on the bad days we can dance around the house.
I love you seems so small, in comparison to how much you bring to my life -
Watch out 14! The midge is coming for you and we have plans to make it Epic!
For the record she is not, but she is close and perhaps in 6 mths she maybe.
When did all of this happen?
There are days when I wonder whose kids are these and when are their parents coming to get them? Hence, here they are still staring at me daily asking me to be their mom.
And I show up, being a mom without a a handbook or real guidelines.
I am a mom that has found her self saying she is sorry more than not.
I am the mom that hates teenage girls most of the times and wonder what purpose they serve at times other than to remind me that I too was this age and perhaps an asshat.
Then I am reminded that teenage girls are stuck in a world of being told they need to grow up fast, but then not be a grown up. They are exposed to phones, the internet, bulling in forms even I don't understand, terms that makes zero sense to me (like Hot Cheetos Girls) and are told to have a soft heart but be prepared to bold and strong if need be.
The world is hard, the world you live in is misunderstood and even as a Mom I feel the pressure, so I cannot imagine the stress you feel of it all.
You have a soft little soul that gets hurt and you carry the hurt with you like a badge of honor, and frankly it is.
People get so busy these days not feeling anything. It is such a blessing to feel things, recognize them and then move along.
Tears and sadness are a part of it, just like belly laughing and smiles.
We spend time in my house doing all of them. We dance, we cook - well they do, I burn shit, we cry, we laugh, we fight but at the core of it all we love.
We love hard, we love deep and we are unapologetic about it.
I have tried to put people in your space that you can lean into as life gets hard.
I have tried to show you and teach you the foundation of things that my mom has taught me.
Your aunt Misty, Courtney and Nana will be fierce in loving and helping you. Your cousins will also be the people you turn to for parties, advice, to hid bodies and for the things you do not want to tell an adult. Your Pa will always be the main stay in your life. He will make you smile, he will be a presence and he will be a phone call away, no questions asked.
When all else fails, pray. We still say the prayer my mother said with me as a child and at the end of it, we must all list 3 things we are grateful for....for me gratitude is important.
Not everyday is going to be easy and not every situation is designed to make you happy.
On the other side of uncomfortable and even sadness is growth - and frankly it suxs, but is necessary.
Fail - feel free to fail, but get back up each and every time.
Hustle -the reward is in the hustle, and no amount of me harping on you, yelling at you, wanting it for you will make you hustle.
The difference between the average and everyone else is the hustle.
No - is one word and a full sentence.
Try anything and everything - eat weird food, say yes to the dance, jump in the puddle in the rain, sing in the shower everyday, turn up the music, smile at the person in the check out line, sit with the kid at school everyone ignores.
I am not the mom that shares make up secrets, cares about clothes or girly things. And you are that girl, you like make up videos, expensive make up, clothes - we are different.
But I see you and I try to make sure I understand the things that are important to you.
You have gotten to the age where you have even decided to tell me what to wear and not wear. Hence this weekend when you told me I was not allowed to wear my outfit for your adventures to the loop. Not allowed - now that makes me laugh. In my stubbornness, I wanted to tell you to kick rocks but in my mom mode, I felt like you deserved to be heard and I needed to make concessions. Look me act like a grown up!!
I even went as far as to ask you if my outfit was okay - growth. We are in the process of growth.
And I'll admit that I have always had my own sense of style and feel pretty comfortable in being a person that may stand out - hence my green shoes.
But you must admit they were quit the conversation piece - even you and your girlfriends have conversations and laugh about them. But truth be told they are still some of the most comfortable shoes I own.
The manner in which I say goodbye to you daily has changed, it is no longer just I love you.
It has migrated in to "i love you, don't open the door to strangers, don't send nude selfies, don't accept strange friends on snapchat or tic a' toc."
As you roll your eyes and tell me its not tic A' toc - which I know, but like that your paying attention.
I need your head and heart to stay safe in this crazy world that pressures kids to grow up fast, and parents to become busy with just being busy.
I need you to remind me that being girly is not a terrible thing and that we both can put aside our stubbornness to meet in the middle.
You have shown me that being a mom is the hardest and coolest thing I have every done.
So as we migrate on to our next new adventures, I am glad that they are with you.......we will plan our next trip for the summer, you and your adventure spirit will go anywhere with me.
So make your list girl, lets decide where we want to go and we will get there.
May 14 teach you lessons that don't harden your heart, give you experiences that make you smile and know through it all I love you even on the days we don't really like each other....
The world needs your smile, the world needs your voice - so sing in the shower, roll the windows down and sing in the car and even on the bad days we can dance around the house.
I love you seems so small, in comparison to how much you bring to my life -
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