Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Failure is the only way to go..

So I have this notion that failure is alright, it is part of life. It is a part of life no one ever speaks about and no one tells you is 'okay'. Hey guess what ppl - we get fired, we lose jobs, we lose spouses, we lose loved ones, we don't get the dream job, we don't get the guy, hell there are times when I go to look and I don't get the damn ice cream! FAILURE is healthy. I know gasp! Healthy. Why did no one bother to tell me, why is it not written somewhere, in some parent handbook? Gosh this life lesson has been a hard one for me. But despite my failures I am all n' all okay! Who knew? There are days when everything falls apart and fail totally bad! And then there are days when I think i am a total rockstarr; but I am reminded pretty soon that I failed. I am learning to be okay in my own skin, with my own faults and I think I have tested every inch of my moral and personal being. Only to find out that each day, I still wake up and I still live - therefore I must find the lesson. Wisdom, grace and joy. Those are the things I look for daily and with each event failure or not. I pray for wisdom, because god knows I have made some dumb comments and mistakes in my 37 yrs of life. I pray for grace, because hell, I swear that desk ran into me!!! And my two left feet sometimes get the best of me and because I carry my emotions in my eyes and on my face - grace would be blessing at times. I pray for joy! I refuse to live without joy! That is not to say that I won't have struggle, I wont have strife, that I won't have bad and sad days. But damn it, I will and have smiled throught it all. I so believe that I am going to be okay - hell I am more okay today than I was yesterday. So that is darn start! Its a slow race, no one bothers to tell you that either. But don't race the clock, it wins everytime. Don't race your values, they will be tested. Don't race yourself, there is never a winner. Keep your smile, keep your laughter and spread your joy. It will lead to places you never thought you would find. A small note to me and others.... M

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