If you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything.

I remember having him, in my drugged out haze and arms that did not work - I could hear him screaming across the delivery room. The scream was delayed, he was born blue, born failure to thrive - on top of being cleft. The chips were stacked against him, and I sure did not help. I was hopped up on so much morphine I thought my toes were glowing, and could not feel my legs. His birth was not picture perfect, his entry into the world was tough. The instant I hear him cry, I lost a part of myself. I was losing my ability to be so darn selfish...this screaming kid needed me. His cry touched my heart to the core. I needed to hold him, to touch him, and I needed to cry. He was here and I was terrified, and ecstatic all at the same time. Me, a mommy. Him, a son - a child of god, and now my child. Made me question if god really knew what he was doing? For real, he must be handing out kids like candy - Lance & I were no way parent material; or so I thought. I remember leaving the hospital w...

So the drama continues..... Where was I when I last left off- well, we established that Lance has the mentality of Patrick the starfish from Spongebob and today he continued to confirm that. Before I get ahead of myself..let's talk about yesterday. I call him around 10am - he is working nights, so he was home. Me' hey what are you doing?' Him 'getting ready to pick up the fridge?' Me 'good.' I call back 2 hours later......tick-toc, tick-toc. Me 'hey, what is up?' Lance ' well, I just had to cut the counter top to get the fridge to fit.' Me slamming down the phone. *dear god. Lance 'I measured it wrong - I measured it from the top and the counter is down below and it sticks out further than I thought. So, I had to cut it.' Me ' what? Why did you not just return the fridge?' Lance 'why, I have it at home.' I hang up. I get home that night, he is gone and the old fridge is in the garage and the new one it hooked up and ...

Tell me, have you been enjoying the weather - if not, then you are living under a ROCK. Don't go out today ( tuesday ), it is suppose to suck; but prior to today it was beautiful. A short run down on our events, which in return lead me straight to appliance hell - with Lance smack dab in the middle of the mess. *I know big SUPRIZ .* I took Thurs & Friday off work to spend time with the kids while Rylan was on an 11 day spring break. We didn't really have the money to do anything big - so we had a 'stay-cation!' I took the kids to the zoo on Thursday - we had a blast. Friday, we took the kids to Purina farms then headed down to Washington MO. Lance went to work that day, when we had decided that he would not - so he didn't get home until 1pm; so half of our day was shot. If you 'think' you notice a bit of tone - then you would be perceptive. We were suppose to go downtown - that is a far cry from 109 and Washington MO. grrr . Thursday night I go to ...

Well sort of.. And if anyone is downtown, and sees half my a*s could you please pick it up and bring it back to me. To say that the meeting was brutal would be an understatement. We were downtown from 9am to 4:30 ; no lunch, min breaks, and NO damn WATER. Why would a federal building not have a water fountain or a water container? Perhaps by design, because they don't want anyone to stay. My mother showed up at my house, around 8am (right on time), in her attorney attire. Ha! That makes me laugh, she was dressed nicely, and my niece apparently told her she looked very attorney(ish). Lance took the day off work to go with me as well, luckily he did not dress in his daily overalls - he put on his date clothes in stead. ha! He asked if he should wear his suite, and I responded ' your funeral suite?' he said 'Yes, the only suite I own.' I quickly replied - 'no, that is bad luck.' Off we went. Me with my husband and mother in tow. We were on time, which is s...

So tomorrow is my EEOC meeting. I am trying to stay distracted today - which is not too hard to do, I am swamped at work. However the anxiety and stress of tomorrow looms around me like a lingering fart that just won't go away. The whole thing STINKS. Tonight I need to go to the hill, in order to support a friend of mine whose uncle died; he was 84 yrs old. This friend of mine is in her 50's and re-arranged her life to take care of her align parents about 5 yrs ago. Her father died not long after she moved in with them, now she cares for her mother and her two uncles who live next door. She works full time as well. So on an occasion or two I have met her for lunch and she would have he elderly team in tow. This little Italian family, so small in stature, but so big in family value and tradition. To say that I know this man who passed away would be a stretch, I had lunch with him twice. But when my friend called me yesterday in tears, her voice breaking as she told me her u...

Well, today she turns 3 and the other drama queen turns 50. I should have known that Pyper would share a birthday with the only other girl that could steal her thunder - BARBIE. Today our little drama queen turns 3, and she is so full of life these days. She wears her emotions on her sleeve, you can tell if she is happy, sad, mad or just needing attention. She is an attention grabber, without even trying. So, imagine what happens when she really 'turns it on.' Her smile will brighten any one's day, there are times it stops strangers in their tracks. At the same time, her anger and sadness will produce the most blood curling scream, your ears will want to bleed. Quite is not in her vocabulary, neither is dull. I have determined that she is nocturnal, she does not require a lot of sleep, for fear that she may miss something. Because god forbid she not be the center of attention, even in her sleep. Last night around midnight I hear 'sshhh, sshhh. SHUT-UP.' Yes, the c...

I have been gone for a while now - just doing some fly by posting here and there; just to let everyone know that I am still alive. Alive - if that is what you want to call it. I am so pissed off at Lance I cannot stand it. I mean the sound of his breath irks the hell out of me these days. And that story is for another day - it is too long to get into today. And as much as I know this man, he never ceases to make me CRAZY and cranky. Over the weekend we drove to the country to see Grandpa, and spend the weekend with him. Making a few dinners, checking his medication and just spending some time. Well low and behold grandpa had plans. whoa. So we showed up and he was gone, to a bday party which would take most of the day. The boys rode the 4-wheeler while Pyper and I made the 'rounds. We stopped by my mothers tax office to say hi, then moved on to my fathers auto body shop. This is one of the places that my father is in true form. So there we were in this buchiet building (slightly bi...