So tomorrow is my EEOC meeting.
I am trying to stay distracted today - which is not too hard to do, I am swamped at work. However the anxiety and stress of tomorrow looms around me like a lingering fart that just won't go away. The whole thing STINKS.
Tonight I need to go to the hill, in order to support a friend of mine whose uncle died; he was 84 yrs old. This friend of mine is in her 50's and re-arranged her life to take care of her align parents about 5 yrs ago. Her father died not long after she moved in with them, now she cares for her mother and her two uncles who live next door. She works full time as well.
So on an occasion or two I have met her for lunch and she would have he elderly team in tow. This little Italian family, so small in stature, but so big in family value and tradition.
To say that I know this man who passed away would be a stretch, I had lunch with him twice. But when my friend called me yesterday in tears, her voice breaking as she told me her uncle died and arrangements were being made. I let her know I would see her at the viewing tonight, to pay my respects. Respect to her, her mother, and her surviving uncle. I am hoping we can both slip away to a small spot on the hill and just talk. Talk alot about nothing, because I am sure that she too will need a distraction.
I know I needed a distraction, but I am not sure that it needed to be the funeral home. Alias, I will just have to tough it out, and perhaps the tears I cry tonight in her presence will be a release of the stress and fear I have over my meeting tomorrow; and they may comfort my friend as she sheds a few tears for the family member she lost.
I have taken the entire day off work tomorrow. My meeting is EARLY in the morning. I do not expect it to last all day, but I know enough about myself to know that work is not the place I need to be afterwards. I will need to drink and cry - in no particular order. Perhaps I will cry in my drink; because we all know how pleasant that is! My mother and Lance are going with me.....for support. And we all know they will be up for a drink or 4, regardless the time of day. Deep down, I am really glad they are going, but I won't tell Lance that, because we are STILL fighting. *aka - jerk!*
How I wish it was going to be someone else in that room.
Tonight I will pray for strenght and wisdom. I will have to keep reminding myself how blessed I am, and remember why I am doing this - because for real, it would have been easier to just walk away. It would have been easier to just let them get away with the nonsense and stand on the sidelines. It would have been easier, but not me... I clearly prefer the road less traveled.
God Speed. *any good mo-joo you could send my way would be greatly appreciated. I could use all the help I can get!
Did I mention I had dark chocolate espresso beans for lunch - zip, zing, zoweeee. My left eye is twitching and my foot is shaking. Prob not such a good idea, but damn they were good. So excuse me while I go run around the block, like 500 times.