Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Naked in the morning...

I know the word Naked got your attention, and not it is not me.

Althought I totally don't mind being naked, I would prefer to sleep in the nude. Prob TMI (too much info). I don't because Pyper still sleeps with us, and she digs her toes into my butt, thighs, nose (depending on her position) - and it just grosses me out. On the weekends or nights when my children are gone, I am a happy (naked) camper - I sleep like a baby. However, you know my biggest fear is having to get out of our home in an emergency and I have to stand on my front lawn naked.....I have had a nightmare or two about that. I keep trying to think of a back-up plan, I figure the neighbor guy will loan me a pair of boxers.

Moving on, really, all of that was not the reason for this...but perhaps it explains alot.
My daughter would rather be naked. Which tends to pose a problem when a 3 yr old wants to be naked in public. Oh, did I mention she is also in the habit of smacking her own butt.

Any family member who has been around us, knows this first hand. Anyone at the sitters house also knows this, and anyone who might have dinner with us - has seen this first hand.
*sidebarr - the butt smacking is from Lance. It is a stupid boy thing, him and Rylan started, that Pyper picked up on. But for some reason everyone thinks I taught her how to do it, which is weird to me. I mean really, I may be out there, but I by no means get any enjoyment out of smacking my own butt - that is a dumb boy move.

Typical dinner at the DePew's:
We all sit around the table eating the dinner that Lance prepared. I ask about every one's day and half way through dinner Pyper gets up and walks in the hallway. Here she proceeds to remove all of her clothes then comes back into the kitchen, stands at the head of the table, where she decides she needs to do her cheers (from football). here goes one 'bang, bang choo-choo, train, wind me up and I'll shake my thing'
Hence the butt shaking begins.

It has gotten to the point where she gets up and we all look at each other and my son states 'oh, no mom - here she goes again.'

As parents we attempt to put her clothes back on. She thinks this is a game and wants us to chase her naked. um...not so much. Her father has tried to use his angry voice to get her to put her clothes on. um...yeah, not so much.

Well, now we have moved on from dinner to breakfast. She woke up this morning fully dressing in her pj's and by the time I was out of the shower, she was naked on the couch. She spent another 45 minutes being mad about god knows what, but she was naked and mad. Asking her to put her clothes only made her anger worse.

I know you read this and wonder, who is really running the DePew home? Easy answer - Pyper. Duh. She has us over a barrel, a laughing barrel - I find myself giggling or laughing at her; even her nakedness. That I have thrown discipline out the window with the dirty bath water.
But what to do when she wants to be naked in the K-mart cart? (dear god, the horror!). Ask her to atleast keep her socks on - the cars are gross?

Lance is convience that her nakedness and ability to hold time can only mean that she will dance naked. I remember telling him a long time ago, you know those girls on the east side, they are all someone's daughter. Not so funny when you have visions of it being your own daughter, not so funny at all.

Mind you I considered stripping in college, for the money. But it was a fleeting thought, I don't really think I could have done it. I decided to waitress instead. But I am by no means oppposed to it, a girl does have to make a living. A word to the wise : Pyper girl, once you get boobs - keep your money maker covered up.


Anonymous said...

I think this is the best blog you have done ~ I love that child ~ It must be a Guertin thing ~ My son Murphy has a issue with Mooning everyone ~ Now his little girl loves to be naked too ~ Only time will tell. A Deb

Farrell said...

Just remember, it's just a phase. Eventually, it will pass. :)


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