I am officially changing my name to Suzie-Q. Anything other than mom. Or in my household it sounds something like Moooooom or mamamama or my favorite awa awa awa.
I was hoping for a better week this week between Pyper and myself. No such luck.
I had to leave last night around 6:30 for a night meeting, I have two night meetings a month - part of the deal with my job. Pyper knows when I get home and don't change into my sweats that something is up. She is was in true form last night. Our first 15 minutes at home were fine, then we switched into Terror mode. Nothing I did made her happy. She would stand at the fridge door and want it open, I would open it -she would cry. OMG. I would close the door - she would cry for it to be open. Once again, I would open it and stand there with her looking at the stuff. She would point aimlessly around the fridge not knowing what she wants. *actually I think she does know, she just wants me to guess. So I start pointing things out (using my *nice mommy voice) ' yogurt, oranges, beef stick, pineapple?' all of these were met by a quick head shaking NO and an endless moan. OMG. So I scoop her up, grab a sippy cup a few oranges and go sit with her. This throws her into a fit.
I figured she needed some snuggle time, that is why I went to the couch. This small notion threw her into a Major fit. I am so tired of the FIT - the one where she screams at the top of her lungs, gets down on all fours and bangs her head on the floor. This can last anywhere from 10 minutes to 45 minutes. Not only are these fits loud they are long. I have made an honest effort to keep my *mommy voice in tact, as well as smoothing her back. I have made an effort not to place her on the couch and walk away. I am REALLY trying, but once again I fear I am failing. While Pyper and I struggle, Lance cooks dinner (he loves too), and Rylan gets into the shower. The rest of my house is productive why I sit and try to console my daughter.
I have tried distraction, I have tried singing songs, breaking out the color books, etc. She wants nothing to do with any project - she just wants to remain close to me and scream. Last night she even hit me - that's right. She veered that little hand back, smacked me right across the eye and then arched back to see what my reaction was. Inside I wanted to beat the child. But the mother in me said, ignore it. So I told her little girls do not 'hit' and I smacked her little hand and continued holding her. The FIT continued. I am beginning to reach my MAX with this child. Finally, I placed her downstairs in her crib. I laid her in her crib, and went into the other room and folded laundry. I gave her 5 minutes and picked her up. Now she was mad because she did not want out of her crib. Are you kidding me???
At 6pm, I get dressed and refresh my minimal makeup and get ready to go.
I called Lance at 11pm, to tell him I was on my way home. I asked how she did - he said ' fine. she only acts that way with you. '
I respond ' I know, she is angry with me. I think she is angry with me for leaving her all day while I go to work.'
What am i suppose to do?
She is my child, I propose we are ALOT a like.....we have always had our moments. But these moments are now frequent and making me feel inadequate.
FYI - when I dropped her off today, I asked the sitter if Pyper has been having any melt-downs during the day. The sitter looked at me like I had 3-heads. she responded ' No, she is such great kids. Absolutely no issues. '
This re-enforces the idea that it is ME.