Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Light at the end of the tunnel....

I fear that the light at the end of the tunnel is not Nirvana - it is a Mack truck waiting to hit me. I keep hoping for peace and quite, and all I keep getting is chaos.
This week we switched babysitters, this is day two. I have been waiting the extra 1/2 hour in the morning to see Rylan actually get on the bus. Then I have been leaving work 1 1/2 early to see Rylan get off the bus. I am trying to make him more comfortable with this new environment. But perhaps my efforts are actual re-enforcing that fact that he should be fearful. I am torn. I 'think' I am doing well, but perhaps I am hoovering? I have decided that tomorrow I will drop him off at normal time, and leave rather promptly. This will allow or force him to interact with the new environment. He is my 'tender' child, and he wears his emotions on his sleeve. You can very clearly see he is out of sorts. He does not deal with change well, he likes to keep things simple and predictable. Pyper on the other hand has made the change just fine. When we left yesterday she gave everyone 'kisses' and high-5's.
Today, right before we left, Rylan suddenly felt sick...he throat hurt. *I know this trick. I told him to get packed up and let's go. Pyper on the other hand, once she hear the word go, she was at the door waiting for it to open. Once we arrived at the sitters, the sitter greeted us and Rylan shyly responded, while Pyper instantly began playing with the toys. I am half angry at Lance for not carrying some of this emotional load. Case-n-point - Sunday night Rylan cried himself to sleep, he was SO nervous about this change. He was afraid he would not know which bus to ride. We talked it all thru and when we parted, I asked him to think about something else -such as 'what are you going to be for Halloween?'. As I crept up the stairs I could hear him whimper, his fears had not subsided. I pray for peace for his little soul. Perhaps cake and ice-cream will cheer him up ;).
Work is busy, I am in crunch time with issuing my preliminary budget. I am slightly stressed. Lance has class tonight so it is up to me to cook dinner and keep things in order. * what was god thinking? Cooking is not my strong spot, actually it is a weakness, essentially - I suck. I am trying to engage the kids, while I tool around the kitchen, so we opt for meals such as pig-n-a-blanket, mac-n-cheese and home-made pizza. I am dealing with a short list...and since I have to 'find' dinner twice a week, I am struggling. Perhaps I should just put my pointer finger to good use and order take-out.
We are gearing up for Halloween, I think Rylan is going to be a Vampire and Pyper is going to be Snow White (she will be a lady bug if it is cold). Perhaps we should actually get our halloween box down from the attic....that would be a good start. Rylan asked Lance what he was going to be last night. Lance said ' I don't know'.. Rylan states ' You could be beer can'. I laughed. I am not sure if that is my son being observant or funny (perhaps both).
Note to the laundry fair - you are FIRED. I am calling Jose to fix my dryer and NOW my washer. Why, because the laundry GODS hate me. As of yesterday my washer started leaking. Perhaps we could just burn all of clothes and buy uniforms - plastic, so all I have to do is wipe them down. Praying for the madness to stop. Later.

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