Tuesday, June 30, 2009


The DePew family is trying to remain as normal as possible - whatever that means.
I am getting up every morning and going thru the motions - hell I even shaved today.
Along with shaving I am pasting a smile on my face and trying to keep that lump in my throat down.
We saw the orthodontist and plastic surgeon yesterday. We all listen, we nodd in agreement -that we understand, then we all paste those damn smiles on our face and we move on.
Lance and I fight over the littlest things, then 30 seconds later find each other to apologize - we know what is really going on. Lance has taken some time the last two weeks to do things w/ just Rylan. I think it has comforted both of them. Yesterday, Lance took Rylan to the orthodontist in the morning then they went to swing-around-fun town. A good memory and distraction for both of them. I see Lance reaching out a bit more, and being more tolerant these days; and for that I am grateful.
Rylan is a bit more aggressive - towards me at least; this makes me angry as a mom. But then again I understand it - so at this moment we are tolerating his need to find an outlet. As adults we have spoken in front of him, with all of the doctors - not sure if that is a good idea or bad. Not sure if he 'gets it'. But what he does get, is that HE is having surgery and with each passing day he acts out a little bit more - who could blame him.
Yesterday we were sitting at children's hospital and I was asking him if he understood - he sits there sort of blank, with a scared undertone and he has two questions.
1) Mom, will I have stitches?
2) Mom, will my face be okay?
The lump is closer to the top than ever, the tears are in the corners. The smile MUST appear and I must do this.
I answer him honestly- that is all I have.
'Baby, yes you will have stitches. Both in your hip and in your mouth.' His eyes get huge, fear is beginning to take over. I continue ' but it will be okay, you will barely even notice.'
'As far as your face goes, it will looks just the same; once the swelling goes down.' Relief washes over him.
He asked 'are u sure?'
I glance at him, trying to read his mind. Trying to imagine being 8 yrs old. Then I ask, 'Are you afraid of looking weird? Like Frankenstein?'
He glances at me, sheepishly 'yes. I don't want to be weird, mom.'
My heart leaps, and I think *I don't want you to be weird either.* But I state out loud 'you will be just fine, just like now. You will be sore, you will have stitches in your hip and your gum line.' At his point I point into his gum line so he knows it will not be on the outside of his face.
He seems comforted at this point. With what little comfort you can find sitting at Childrens Hospital.
So today is one day closer.
Here is what I know - or what I remember from the conversation with the doctor.
1) He didn't know if they were going to graph both side of his mouth or just one.
- kind of an important point at this stage in the game.
2) They will retrieve the bone marrow from the right side. Mainly because that how the surgery room is set up. At this point they are planning on retrieving a thimble size amount of marrow. Unless of course they are going to do graph both sides, then they need more.
3) Surgery could take anywhere from 1.5 to 4 hours; depending on if we are graphing one or two sides.
4) At least an overnight stay. They expect us to be released on Friday. We will see.
5) Liquid diet for 4 to 5 days. Soft foods for a couple of weeks.
6) No more swimming - or rather don't allow him to blow water, or anything else out of his mouth. It might blow the graph.
We don't have a surgery time yet, but we are hoping for early on Thursday.
The earlier the better.
A brief thank-you to my mother, sister; who are helping us by caring for Pyper during this time. It is a relief to know that she is taken care of, and we can focus on Rylan. Thank you to my parents for coming with us to surgery - I prob won't remember to thank you then.
We will try to remain normal in the mean time - whatever in the hell that means.
God bless you baby, we will get thru this one moment at a time. My heart aches that you have to go thru this, and I don't understand it all, but I am faithful - scared by faithful.

1 comment:

Farrell said...

having a child go through surgery is no doubt scary. You are being a good mom; lance is being a good dad; rylan knows and realizes this and you will all get through it. I will pray that everything goes well. keep us updated.


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