Okay so last night was a pretty standard night in the DePew household. We all sat down at the dinner table, and I began asking Rylan about his day. The questions out of my mouth are always the same:
1) How was your day. 2) What was for lunch. 3) Who did you play with? 4) Did you get to go outside. I ask these questions, because it helps me feel intact with my sassy 6 yr old. His answers are pretty standard: answer to question 1) fine 2) I forgot 3) Morgan, Ben, big Taylor and little Taylor 4) yes.
Well, last night was a bit different. His day was - Great! (um). * he uses one word answers like his dad. He had a burrito for lunch, and suggested we try them for dinner sometime. He played with Morgan, Ben, big Taylor, little Taylor and Timmy- and Timmy is weird (see face squinting and eyes rolling). No, they did not go outside, but he did play in the gym, it was free time.
Me - Timmy is weird (notice the hair on my back standing up, I HATE mean kids). What makes him weird?
Rylan - Well he talks funny and his eyes are weird (once again eyes rolling around inside his head).
Me - Do YOU call Timmy weird to his face or make fun of him?
Rylan - he spits 'No.'
Me - Do your friends make fun of Timmy? Because you know it is not nice to be mean to people, because the look different. If it had not been for Dr. Kane you too would look really different. You know your cleft made you look and sound different. * see story ://www.cleftadvocate.org/FF0302Rylan.html
Rylan - No mom, I did not make fun of him.
Lance is in the background, giving me the *he is only 6 yrs old, don't give him the grow-up talk. So stop now.
I take a deep breath, run thru the conversation in my mind and decided to state on last thing.
Me - Rylan, you really should ask Timmy to play and encourage other kids to be 'nice' to him. You remember when the kids made fun of your hair (he has a mo-hawk), and how bad that made you feel. We don't want Timmy to feel bad when he goes home at night.
Rylan- (you can see him thinking it over). yeah, okay mom.
Oh.....nothing gets me more worked up than kids being mean. And I know that kids are mean in school. But as a parent I don't have to accept it, nor encourage it. My heartbreaks for my son when he comes home and tells stories of kids not playing with him on the playground. Or not picking him for their team. I let him know that sometimes we are not always first or the best, but we must try our best regardless and still play.
We thank god everyday for Rylan and his progress. He really has come a long way - thanks to our team of doctors. Had he been born 20 yrs ago, he would be weird Rylan. I refuse to have him treat people in a manner in which he would not want to be treated. Teaching manners, gentlemen behavior and sensitivity are part of my duties as a mom. I refuse to fail in this area.
A Pyper girl update. We are doing SO much better, now that we have been home and kept a normal schedule. It is nice to have her back!! She is a pistol, she has started singing - or wailing, however you categorize a 2 yr old finding her voice and liking the sound. ha!
This morning, she had her diaper off, and went to potty to pee. she missed the potty and peed on the floor and all over her legs, but gets an E for effort.