Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Defeated....

I feel defeated today....
I have been trying a 'supernanny' technique. You know the one where you leave your child in their own bed when they wake-up in the middle of the night. Well we had two (fairly) successful nights of Pyper waking up, me laying her back down -soothing her back and keeping her in her bed. Rather than scooping her up and placing her in my bed between hubby and myself. Last night, well not so successful - actually it sucked! Damn this child is HARD. I was up 4 plus times and the last time lasted for 1 1/2 hrs (3 to 4:30AM). As I am up, I feel my self becoming REALLY frustrated with the situation....I pray for grace, and patience. All I seem to get is frustrated. So by 4:30 i give in and place her in my bed. Defeated!! She snuggles up next to me, begins her normal ritual of Chinese torture (hair pulling) and is asleep in no time. This morning I wake up with a bald spot (via the hair pulling) and bags under my eyes. I debate on whether or not to let her sleep. The evil mom thinks 'wake the child up, she should have to suffer too'. Then the reasonable mom thinks ' no! grab a cup of coffee, and get semi-ready before you start to deal with the devil child.' So I let them sleep in. I am half jealous of their sleeping souls, resting so peacefully. I can hear them breath, so softly with out a care in the world. Jealous, much? Yes I am.
On a second note, I am FIGHTING with my boss at work AGAIN. This is becoming a pattern, and rather exhausting. He is a lier and will apparently would sell his soul to keep his job. Actually I think he is getting kick-backs, but have yet to prove it. He has given the indicated that I must have 'misunderstood his intentions' regarding his request for me to pay a contractor that went over a 'not to exceed' amount. um. There was no gray area, he ASKED me too. Then he changes an invoice amount and instructed my office to pay over the invoice amount. I challenged him on it, and said NO. So where does that put me? At odds with my boss. Is it better to have a job and sell your soul? I would rather have my integrity. I hate playing hard-ball with the big boys - it may cost me my job. Will it be worth it? I guess we will just have to wait and see...
I have not read any article where the whistle blower actually came out on top. In the mean time I will keep my penis in the jar next to my desk and take it out whenever the boys want to play. Apparently boobs are not allowed. Whatever! Maybe back in the 1950's.....
To be continued...
DEFEATED today, but not dead in the water. Praying for wisdom and grace to get thru this one successfully. Or perhaps I will just take a mental health day, take some time to regroup (& drink / sleep). :)

3 comments:

Farrell said...

I FEEL your pain with the sleeping situation!!!!!

Raquita said...

so very glad to meet you - I ahve that same sleeping delima - Bria pulls and pushes and likes to bury her feet in my belly.
i'm like seriously i worked to hard to get you out of my belly to be going thru this.

about the job - I understand. Sometimes its just not worth your soul.

So very glad to meet you - you are in my reader now!

A Buns Life said...

Hey, I'm all caught up now....I've read everything. Sounds like we have similar challenging little girls.... I keep telling myself it is a good thing she is so damn cute!

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