Last night I get home a tad bit late, I am staying later than usual in an effort to get out my 2008 budget document. I get home, drag my butt thru the garage, into the kitchen. I am met by Pyper who is squealing with joy, because she is happy to see me. Lance is tooling around the kitchen, looking busy. I make my way into the living room, Pyper in tow and find Rylan on the couch. He is whimpering and appears to be eating a twinkie. I round the corner back into the kitchen and ask Lance 'what is wrong'?
Lance - 'Ask Rylan'. I back track into the living room and by now Rylan is crying and mumbling ' it burns, it burns.' I am alarmed. I look closer and realize that the yellow twinkie in his mouth, is not a twinkie at all it a bar of yellow-dial soap. Now the situation has peeked my interest. Clearly Rylan cannot answer any of my questions, because he is foaming at the mouth, and on the verge of hysterics. I look at Lance once again to inquire - what happened. He responds ' Ask Rylan'. In the back round Rylan is crying, 'DAD can I take it out!'.
Lance 'No, you still have a few more minutes. Your 15 minutes are not up.'
Me '15 minutes, you cannot make him keep it in there for 15 minutes, he really is starting to get it up his nose. '
Lance shrugs his shoulders in a whatever motion. I make my way back to the living room with instructions for Rylan ' get in the bathroom rinse your mouth out and jump in the shower. While you are in the shower, make sure the water goes in your mouth and swish it around.' As I am speaking, he is continuing on with 'it burns, it taste gross, get it out'.
I motion for him to hand me the bar, which by now is foamy, slimy and has teeth marks in it. I giggle to myself. Nice! *Kudos to Lance for finding a constructive way to discipline this child without beating his butt. Rylan will remember this for a long time.
Then it dawns on me, I still don't know what prompted this discipline. I go the shower to ask Rylan, but he is distraught (still). So, I leave him to whimper in the shower. Back in the kitchen, I corner Lance. Lance states ' He told me I was a pile of crap. ' I laugh out loud. Lance looks stern, not funny.
*For the life of me, I just knew this child said a four letter word. Well, technically he did, but crap is not as bad as the words running thru my head.
Lance explains that they were in the grocery store, Rylan was not listening as usual, and Lance instructed him to stop and Rylan responded with a smart ass comment similar to 'No, you pile-of-crap'. 'Oh', is all I can muster at this point.
I am surprised Lance did not pick Rylan up right then and there and light him on fire. Instead Lance had enough gumption to wait and put a barr of soap in his mouth. Genius.
We have been struggling with how to curb Rylan's 6 year old attitude. I prefer not to spank him, the barr of soap is a simple and harmless answer.
Rylan was suspended from playing video games and watching football on top of the barr of soap. Tough night for the little guy. Tough, but too the point. Excellent!
See, we really are getting this parenting thing down pat. ;) There is a ayre of confidence running thru the DePew houshold today, I am sure we will be blindsided by something else this evening.
We maybe breeding delinquents, but they will be delinquents with manners, that mind their parents and respect adults.
*Now if we could only get Pyper out of our bed. One obstacle at a time, I guess.