Thursday, March 20, 2008

Absent Lately

I have been absent lately - for several reasons.
I am still wading thru a series of emotions, and finding myself more and more comfortable with each passing day. I have tried to avoid posting, becuase even I am tried of listening to myself sound so damn down.
Secondly, I am hesitant to reveal the dynamics between myself and my sister as of recent. I created the blog in an effort to get things off my chest, and keep a timeline that hopefully my kids might enjoy someday.
I know that I have several friends and family memebers that pop by every once and a while and I don't want to fuel the situation regarding my sister. Therefore I have avoided posting about it. Part of me REALLY wants to tell everyone, but then again I have to be sensitive to her and the entire situation. That being said, this is what I will tell you.
Last Saturday we had a situation, and it resulted in words. Actually, I said words (angry words), while she sat there acting flip, sassy and semi-listening. Towards the end, I think she got it....and I left her house stating, "I love you, and I would hope that if you saw me in the manner in which I see you that you would let me know." I don't want to judge her, and I don't want anyone else to judge her - but I could no longer pussy-foot around the situation. I called her on the carpet, laid it all out. I realize that we will have to put some distance between us in order for us to make our way back to each other. In the mean time, I miss her dearly. I saw her this morning, she is keeping my kids today, and we were polite. Sort of like semi-friends. It was a strange feeling, and I know it is a result of the words we had last Saturday. So here is my request. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. I get where she is coming from, I understand her needs, I just want her to think more carefully about her actions.

Things are beginning to settle down at work - I have gotten thru the health crisis, the audit and now the census. It feels good to get these things off my desk. They would have been alot easier to deal with had it not all been due in the same week. The same week we finalized our health plan, I had our auditors on site. Whew, I barely remembered what day it was.

The kids are good - Rylan has been on spring break all week. I am mad that we did not do anything with him. We had planned to take a few days off, get a room and swim in a pool with our kids - spend some family time away from everything. Lance was suppose to look into it all during his day off last week. I got home and informs me he did not look into anything, he didn't really feel like it. DAMN him.
We are both taking tomorrow off and we will spend it with our children doing something fun (I demand it). We are also heading to the country to check on his dad - the area south has been flooded, and we need to check on him. Plus we want to see him for Easter.
We are planning on coming back Sat early evening to have a night egg hunt at my sisters with all the kids - my aunts, uncles, cousins and kids. It should be fun....but I still wish we would have went away with just our kids.
I am still taking the little blue pill - each day is getting easier, and I am coming to grips with it - one day at a time.
I cannot wait for spring, I could do with out the rain, but welcome the spring.

Pyper is doing well. She is learning her ABC's, and still not sleeping in her own bed.
Rylan is getting big and turns 7 next weekend - 7 yrs old. WOW

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi, I think I am caught up now, I have read your whole blog in two days. I do not have my own blog, I just browse and read. I found yours from Andrea's. I enjoy your writing, it is honest and true.

Jen

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