Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Village Idiots.

These days seem like an amusement ride that just won't end.

Yesterday, was fun getting home (NOT!). I left work around 1pm, apparently right in the middle of the damn snow storm. I took the back roads in an effort to avoid the village idiots on the highways. What normally takes me 15 to 20 minutes took me an hour and half.

Village Idiot # 1 - We will call her Sandy the slug:
I had a lady in a car that decided my lane was moving fast than hers, so why not just come on over. And while you are on your way over, lets not turn our blinker on. Let's just scoot over in the middle of the snow filled highway and make everyone else slide around in an effort to avoid hitting you. We had to avoid hitting you because your car was rear-wheel drive and could not get any traction, therefore you could not GET OVER. Hence you were stuck in two lanes blocking traffic.

Village Idiot #2 - Mr. Green Jeans:

Or how about Mr. Green Station Wagon that almost took out the whole side of my car - because you too lost control. Here's an idea - let's try NOT going so fast in the middle of a snow storm.

Village Idiot #3 - Phone home. Then there was little Ms. Silver Car, the one that blocked the entrance to my caregivers subdivision. Yeah, you were a 'classic' one. You sat in your little sports car, with your sun-glasses on and attempted to get out of the subdivision, this should have been a no-brainier since you were going down-hill. (how does some one screw up going down hill?).

You made it to the bottom and at the stop sign, changed your mind and decided to turn around and go back into the subdivision. (did I mention she had sunglasses and flip-flops on) While turning around you got stuck, so I sent my husband out of our car to go help you (by pushing yours). He would tell you turn the wheel left and you would turn it right, he would even have his finger pointing to tell you the right direction, but you must of have missed it when your PHONE RANG. So now she is wearing her sunglasses, flip-flops, blocking the entire subdivision and talking on her phone. Alias, she is no longer stuck and attempts to make it up the hill - she slides sideways down the hill and clogs the only way in / out of the subdivision (phone still stuck to ear). Clearly, she could not see my high beam glare with infra-red lights burning a hole into her head - because she had her sunglasses on.

I call the sitter and tell her to look out her back window - I see her step to the glass. She laughs, she can see us along with the good people of the subdivision attempting to help this lady. Then the sitter replies - 'does she have her sunglasses on? Are those flip-flops, and who can she be talking to?' All very good questions.

It took us another hour and 15 minutes to get our kids. My worst fear is having a disaster and not being able to reach my kids. I know this does not qualify as a disaster, but it sure pissed me off.

We made it home safe and sound only to be plagued with eye goop and ear aches - in the middle of a snow storm. Our night was from hell, and today we packed up and saw the doctor. We have eye drops, ear drops and antibiotics.

Our goosebumps movie:
Welcome to the ride that won't let you get off. We are the seat with the creaky wheel, and straps that don't work. We hold on for dear life and pray for the best.

Is this really the best? Gosh help us if it is.........

1 comment:

A Buns Life said...

And THAT my friends, is why I didn't even leave my house yesterday. so sorry.

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