Last Friday night my work had an 'interactive dinner', this was a meet the new people dinner. We have a new Mayor and other elected officials - basically my boss.
I had struggled all week with whether or not to bring Lance with me...seriously. As the story continues you will know why!!
Bottom line, I should have left him at home.
The happy hour started at 6pm, we did not arrive until 6:30. We are the youngest people in the room by at least 15 to 20 years. It was a casual dinner, and there are people in coats & ties. Damn! I wore bluejeans, heels and a nice top. Lance wore green khakis, and a polo - all in all we were fine. I really expected some of the people to dress down a bit more. I will know better next time.
So we mingled a bit and then sat down at dinner. I sat Lance next to the Park & Rec director - this was decided before we even arrived. I figured Lance would be safe there.
There were approx. 40 people at this dinner and the Mayor's wife sits on the other side of me.
*Out of all of the seats in the room, they sit next to me. god must be punishing me.
The Mayor asked Lance ' What do you do?'
Lance responds ' I am a low-voltage electrician.'
Mayor ' as opposed to a high-voltage? ha!ha!.
Lance ' hardy, hardy. '
I kick Lance under the table, and instruct him to put food in his mouth. He is drinking beer and I am drinking red wine. The first lady is drinking wine as well.
The first lady comments how her biggest vice is drinking wine. I begin to relax. We make it thru dinner without too much drama.
As dinner concludes, Lance makes his way to the bar to smoke (and try to catch the game). A few of us decide to stay after dinner and sit at the bar. This group includes the Mayor and his wife. Now Lance has moved on to drinking dirty martini's. We are there about an hour and a half when the Mayor makes his way to the other side of Lance, and they begin talking.
I keep chatting with co-workers, but I keep one ear on Lance and his conversation with the Mayor. I hear the conversation turn to a WalMart discussion, unions etc.
Lance is voicing his over-bearing opinion about unions and walmart, and the Mayor seems to be taking it in stride.
Mind you the Mayor is a retired sales man for 3M - he worked there for 35 years. He is savvy, and has a total sales man approach. He is getting a kick out of Lance, he is enjoying getting him worked up.
Someone orders some appetizers and the Mayor picks up the platter brings it by Lance's face and makes him an offer ' would you like some Chinese Chicken?'
Lance response ' you cock-sucker. you are totally busting my balls.'
I stop dead in my tracks, turn around and I am mortified. I look at Lance ' did you just call MY BOSS a cocksucker?'
Lance does not look phased, ' yeah, he is totally busting my balls. did you hear him offer me Chinese chicken?'
I looked at Lance ' I don't care if he asked you to lick his shoes, you cannot talk like that.'
I look over at my co-workers who are rolling on the floor. I apologize to the Mayor, who is grinning. I apologize to his wife, says to think nothing of it.
I comment ' just put my pink slip in the mail'.
I hear Lance say to the Mayor ' those office people are so damn touche, you don't care do you?'
*What would the Mayor say to that really?
The Mayor seems amused by Lance and my reaction. I tell Lance to finish his drink we are leaving. He tells me to chill out, and give him some time - him and the Mayor are talking.
Nope, discussion over! I pack us up and head home - reeling over the events.
Lance is amused with himself, I am mortified.
Today I walk into the office with snickers and giggles from the staff - word travels fast.
Note to self - *husband is not ALLOWED in PUBLIC.
*So I get this later this afternoon from an officer with a note 'guess which one is your husband.'
I laughed so hard I cried at this video. ENJOY.