Friday, April 4, 2008

Principal -update:

I am not sure where to start......um.
As you know I called and spoke with the principal yesterday, and 'we' were to speak with Rylan once I got home from work.
I get home and Rylan is in the shower. I peek in and ask him how his day was...
He is sniffling and manages to say 'fine'. I leave it at that.
He gets out, makes his way into the living room - where I am playing with Pyper and his dad is sitting the chair. I look at him and ask ' anything you want to tell us, about today?'
That was all it took he started sobbing, crying and was barely coherent 'I was sent to the principals office today mom.'
Me ' Yes, I know I spoke with the principal today.'
He looks stunned ' mom, I didn't mean to hurt Trevor...we play all the time. And now he won't be my friend.'
Me 'Did you hit him?'
Rylan ' yes, we were trading punches.'
Me ' trading punches, do you do that alot?'
Rylan ' yeah all the time'.
Me ' did he tell you that you hurt him?'
Rylan 'no. plus Kyle was also playing with us.
*Apparently there are three first graders in one seat on the bus - Rylan, Trevor and Kyle. Trevor is the youngest and smallest.
The principal indicated that she was going to remove Trevor from the seat and separate the other boys with different seat mates.
What a novel idea.
We spoke with Rylan about keeping our hands and feet to ourselves, listening to people and knowing when to stop. Last night he wrote (himself) a letter to Trevor telling him that he was sorry. Between Rylan having to see the principal, having to speak with us and write the letter - I think he has been thru enough.
He was still very upset this morning, wouldn't finish his breakfast and had some anxiety over riding the bus. I hugged him and told him, 'as long as you tell the truth, and remember the rules we discussed. You will be fine.' His little emotions are running high.
I called the principal this morning to let her know we spoke with Rylan, and informed her not to hesitate to contact us directly should something else occur. I let her know we are engaged parents and are willing to go the extra mile if necessary.
We both agreed that this incident was a result of horseplay that got out of hand, and she has no concerns about Rylan. (whew!).
*You should have seen him last night, so very upset about it all. Upset to think he had to see the Principal, upset to think Trevor wouldn't be his friend....

I sat there speaking with him (in my parent voice), and thought quietly to myself how it seemed to me that he had enough guilt and emotions about the situation that he had really beaten himself up. There really is no reason for us to discipline him, he didn't do anything terribly wrong. I believe him having to see the principal and having to tell us the story and write the I am sorry letter was discipline enough for this incident.

So there is my first phone meeting with the principal. In the whole scope of things it could have been worse.

Part of me really wishes the principal would call the other parents and let them know she spoke with us and that we are addressing the situation. If I put myself in their shoes, I would want to know that the other set of parents at least acknowledged the situation and were willing to address it. I asked the Principal if 'we' should speak with the other set of parents, and she said 'no'. I hope that was the right decision. I don't know who the parents are, where they live or what they think. I can imagine that they don't think to highly of the mo-hawk kid that seems to be 'mean' to their son on the bus. I hope they understand that it was a situation of typical horseplay between first graders that apparently got out of hand.

I was surprised to know that this is typical behavior for these boys on the bus. But the other kids, (the babysitters two children) confirmed that Rylan and Trevor play like 'that' all the time, and that Rylan has not done anything out of the ordinary.
So this morning prior to dropping him off, he was teary eyed and I hugged him he looked up at me and said 'mom, I think I will just find a new seat today'. I smiled back and said 'that might be a good idea. And don't forget to give Trevor his not telling him you are sorry.'

This weekend Lance and I are attending a Leukima benefit - for a 4 year old boy http://wilsonclay.eventsbot.com/. Actually, we are working at the benefit. It is for a great cause and should be a good time, Lance and I are managing the door - ha!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sounds like to me you did the right thing. my 7 y/o has ADHD and the school always tries to help the kids who dont' get into a lot of trouble, mine did the other day when I forgot to give him his meds and he got sent to the principals office. She did even worry about it too much, she knows does not cause problems on a daily basis. Did you see the letter where 44 of our teachers in our school district are retiring this year?
Jen

A Buns Life said...

Oh man. I am so sorry. At least you guys are engaged parents and he was so, so sorry. Poor guy. We are struggling with some of the same stuff here too. There really is not a mean bone in Jake's body, he just goes along with the crowd and doesn't have the maturity to know when to stop. So we are trying to teach him to not even start. Trying to have him see it from the "other perspective" and hopefully he will get it. It sounds like Rylan got it this time and hopefully learned a lesson, and a way to avoid something like this from happening in the future. sigh.

Farrell said...

It sounds like you handled it very well...and I agree that Rylan expressed regret, and after doing all that stuff; well, enough is enough. Poor guy.

cyndy said...

Poor kid, I think you all handled it very well. I hope he has no more visits to the principal.

Cheffie-Mom said...

Aww, well thats great you guys are so involved! I thin you did the right thing...hope all is well for the next couple of months! :)

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