Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Duh, mom

Duh, mom is still ringing in my ears from this morning.
That was the moment I realized that I am turning into a 'mother' and just not COOL, and I SO don't get it.
He is 7, and he is telling me - duh, mom. With this total look of discontent on his face, I giggle at how grown-up he seems, then it dawns on me I am so NOT cool. That is a big blow to my early 30 ego.

Here is what prompted this one...

There we, are it is 7:15am I am in the drivers seat, the kids are in the back buckled to go to the sitters. I run thru the list of necessary items.

Kids buckled - check!
Coffee in travel mug - check!
Purse / phone - Check!
Kids - (just to be sure) - Check!
Book bag with folder - check!
Folder for school has been signed by parent- check!
Sweaters, and umbrellas - check.
Whew, we are good to go....... then I hear 'NO! No! '

Lance is home today, and the kids MUST tell him good-bye once again. I honk the horn (this is code for get your butt out in the garage). He pokes his head out the door - I feverishly wave him to Rylan's side of the car. Lance slowly makes his way (dear god, get a move on).
Rylan rolls down his window and they kiss and hug (once again!!). Pyper starts whining, she wants one too (of course). I eyeball Lance, with the crazy stare that says move it!

*He makes his way to the other side of the car, as he is passing behind the trailbazer I have a brief moment where I feel like putting it in reverse and running him over. It was a fleeting thought, but COME ON!! Unlike you, this morning, I am on a time schedule.

I start to back out. I begin making light conversation with Rylan.
Me - "Hey, buddy how is your new chapter book?'
Rylan -'Good'.
Me 'What Chapter are you on?'
Rylan - Chapter 6, and I have only had it for two days.'
Me -'How many chapters does the book have?'
Rylan - now he is annoyed with me ' One! You know mom, it is one book, so it has one big story with places to stop and put my book-mark.'
Me - I look back at him clearly confused - 'so, tell me again how many chapters does it have?'
Rylan - 'one, with a lot of little ones too. Duh, mom'
Me - I still look confused.
Rylan - his hands are waving around, as if to show an imaginary book. 'Don't you get it? One book, one story, one chapter with a lot of little chapters too.'
Me - 'oh.' I said flatly.
Rylan -' Don't you read books? Don't you know?'
Me - 'yes, I read books, and I think I get it now.'
Rylan 'well, it sure took you a long time.'

Yes, my learning curve is steep this morning.

Side-barr * the root-canal went fine. The shots were the worst, the drilling, scrapping had me trembling. But, no worse for the wear. I went home afterwards and took a long nap, a few aspirin and I am good to go. Note to self - after the dentist don't try to drink any water. My mouth would not close and I drooled water all down my shirt. Lance laughed.

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